Yep I like it Louis.
But you are going to hate me maybe after this suggestion,
Try There's a letter on Mom's dressy that dady wrote.
That solves the continuity for me.
I would also change the us to me.
as no siblings are mentioned in the rest of the song.
Trick with autobiographicals is to not let anybody know if they are, or they aren't personal stuff.
If we do it right, it will seem they are to most.
I am still getting get well cards from the Prostate one from when i had that in first person.
Big mistake.
Keep at it Louis. It is sounding better all the time.
Graham

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/grahamhenderson_music.htm