Keith, there is so much that is wonderful about this. The title/hook is priceless and the verses are terrific.

The chorus is soooo good, I think it should be used more,
as in verse 1, chorus, verse 2, chorus, bridge, chorus.
I'd keep the first verse the way it is, choose either the
second or third verse as the second verse, (both are great!)
and convert verse four into a bridge.

Whatever you do with it won't matter! It's just a wonderful lyric. Good luck with it!!

Diane

Last edited by Diane Ewing; 06/02/08 10:42 PM.

Diane Ewing