Alright, Miss Beth…Whaddya got…

Let me direct you up to my response to Caroline for the “wooden” issue….I guess what I’m trying to say is yes, what you said, she puts up a brave front…pretending to be happy for him. You make some good points and I actually thought about having more “heavy” contrasts/similarities and I do have it there in the end, in V4. I could do more I suppose…

What about:

The city can’t sleep with the lights on
And lost souls crossing the street
As my thoughts drift with the soft wind
I wonder how life’s supposed to be
And you weigh heavy on my mind

And here:

There’s a friend beneath my wooden/shallow/blank/empty face
Who laughs and cries with you
But I need to rise above it all
And find other things to do
Cuz you weigh heavy on my mind

Eh - not sure. I don’t know at this point…I’m just playing around with it, as I know you know. I’m not necessarily avoiding chorus songs, in fact, I’ve written a few w/choruses after writing this one…I just haven’t posted them! wink I didn’t start out and say I’m gonna write an AABAA song, first, because that really doesn’t even exist…and second, I wouldn’t want to force a lyric into my pre-conceived notions of what I think it should be. It just came out this way. Your points are well-taken and right on, so we shall see… Thanks for taking the time to offer your highly-respected thoughts on this! smile

Kristi

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist