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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 4,178
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 4,178 |
I'm gonna make myself look real smart and just say, "Ditto what Bob said." Actually, I was all set to do the tinkering, even had your words copied and I stumbled onto Hobes' critique and I thought to myself, "WOW! THAT'S how to critique!" I'm just not really good at trying to explain myself, and find it easier just to offer alternative suggestions. But, I feel you learn so much more when you get a critique like Bob's and "forge ahead" in the rewrites. You've got some great lines here, but although I know you're getting REALLY great with the condensing and economizing, I still feel there's some unnecessary words. But, I know you'll find them. Great start!! ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/wink.gif) Tink p.s. But... if'n ya want me to tinker, I'd do that, too! p.p.s. YEH!! Let's do the kidnap thing!!! I can't wait to get us all together!!
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Jul 1st, 2026
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"The music industry is filled with risk takers, but not so filled with people who educate themselves before taking the leap." –Brian Austin Whitney
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