Originally Posted by Ian Ferrin
Hi Stevie,

This sounds good. The effort and energy you put into this really come thru.

I really didn't care for the unchanging big snare sound thru the whole tune. You might consider trying something different if you can. Some folks do wonders w/ drumagog but thats $$$. If not, maybe a little subtle flanging with a long flanging period... that'll make the sound vary a bit over time.

I also think you you should replace the chorus about you with the chorus about her. "garter belt - velvet thigh - treasure chest" are all quasi sexual descriptions and the descriptions of the guy aren't comparable or as good IMO. And the line "Beneath a silky shirt, I'm a butterfly" doesn't work for me... IE it seems kinda strangely effeminate.

Also, I think focusing the tune mainly on her, might make it stronger... just from a focus standpoint.

I don't know if you could make that substitution at this point. But it seems like most of your backing vocals are OOs and it might be possible?

Anyway, I realize this is an old tune. But I have this predilection for just calling 'em as I see 'em. I think with these two changes you might make this a lot stronger if you want to go that route.

I enjoyed the listen.

Peace,

Ian


Thanks for the listen and comprehensive feedback Ian. Both appreciated greatly. Yeah the drums are a sore spot for sure and I'm gonna go back and put real drums in there when I have time. The ones there are from drum machine software I've had for years. As for focusing just on her, it's a wedding and both have butterflies in their stomachs (baby your so moi and I'm so vous, like a chocolate vow I melted into you, etc.)so it had to include the guy as well but after the bridge it all focuses on her again. Besides, I just did the music and Chad had the lyric complete before I started.

Thanks again for the listen and honest feedback.
Stevie

I'm the only person here who is not unique.