Originally Posted by Mark Halsall
Originally Posted by Colin Ward
It's a little hard to comment on this problem without seeing any of your lyrics. I suggest you post something so we can see what you mean.

Some genres require lyrics that tell stories and are written in everyday language, so that is not necessarily a bad thing, but if your lyrics are written like a logbook, they could be boring.

One suggestion might be to paint a word picture of each scene in the story and let the listener's imagination fill in the details rather than just provide a list of events.

I'll make up an example:

I walked into the kitchen,
She stood there frying eggs
She smiled at me sweetly
and I admired her legs

or

The blue flame turned the pan bright red,
The eggs cracked in her hand,
A grin appeared upon her face,
Fingers twirled the wedding band


Hi Colin

Thanks for that - it's a really good example.

On the other had I quite like your first example, mind if I use it in a song? smile


Go ahead!

Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/