Linda,

In a few spots I would recommend not carrying out the vocal so much and let the music "breathe" a little more. Like with the word "you" it seems to me the instruments are making some cool changes there and I don't think it fits the vocal. If it was one hard hitting repeating note I could see it working.

To me the vocal does not quite fit the style of the song and the guitar work in the beginning is great but a little too heavy and builds a little too much excitement at the beginning which is never really matched again imo. I guess the best way to describe it is that it mixes genres for me. Is it hard rock, soft rock, pop, or country? I hear all of that in there at certain points and its like the song doesn't ever make up it's mind.

I would like to hear a version with the vocals turned down a little so the music would come through more. I think if you are going for more of a rock song it should be that way anyway.

That being said there are some very redeeming things here. The verses are fairly average to me but the chorus I like quite a bit. I like that it's different and still catchy. I think you did a really nice job there. I also like the ambulance limousine line.

I like these types of songs where the message is mostly sad but the music and a few lines are "light". I don't mind listening to sad songs but like a little bit of a rainbow in it. You do have a song that is upbeat and hopeful but tough at the same time. Good job with that too.

Andy, You did a good job from what I can hear but the vocals are taking away from some of your music imo. As I said great guitar work in the beginning and some really cool progressions that keep the song moving and interesting.

Good job both of you. Thanks for posting this and I hope these suggestions help in some way.

And sorry to hear about your friend. Makes it a little tougher to critique when you put so much heart into it!

Ricky

Last edited by Ricky Layne; 06/12/11 02:34 PM.