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Florida
by Rob B. - 05/09/26 10:39 AM
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Real Deal
by Brian Austin Whitney - 05/07/26 01:38 AM
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Flyte
by Gary E. Andrews - 05/06/26 05:36 PM
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Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,067 |
Hey Stan, WOW - you like writing these sensual songs, huh! LOL The all-important first line must grab...I don't think... "She's Certainly Different From-The-Rest"...is strong enough to hold attention, but the following 2 lines certainly do! But the fourth line... "& It-Shows-NICELY That Way She's Dressed"...is weak, IMO Then in the second verse, the first line... "Yeah, She's So Mighty-Fine-to-Watch"... is weak, by itself, might want to start that verse with the second line: With An-Extra-Wiggle in The Way-She-WalksThe second line of verse 3... 'Cuz She's REAL-Womanly in Every Place...is too general...needs a more visual image, IMO Anyhoo, these are my tweaks, keep or sweep! 
“I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase.” - Harlan Howard
Co-writing = Compromise!
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