Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 39
Casual Observer
|
OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 39 |
SmileLaptop mic again. I'm proud of this one. tell me what you think! Why don't you smile? I see your eyes are glistening don't be contrived please talk to me i'm listening these tears you're fighting you're hiding away words are writhing but you keep them all at bay oh tell me whats wrong sing to me what is troubling put it in a song the notes soothes your souls suffering your life is not a backdrop of black white and grey let the sunshine dry those tears away so smile lets forget about this terrible day it'll take a while for everything to be okay and i care about you in every single way and i promise no one will love you more and i hope that i am the one you adore and i love you eyes i love the way they stare at me and i love your smile its a shame how they are so sparse today these tears you're fighting you're hiding away words are writhing but you keep them all at bay so sit down please don't walk away keep some company it'll give me time to say CHORUS
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 114
Serious Contributor
|
|
Serious Contributor
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 114 |
Hey I enjoyed this.
One suggestion, I know its a folk song but I was hoping for it to soar a bit in the chorus. I heard the melody in 'so smile..' to be a third or a fifth higher.
Not too sure about 'words are writhing' but the lyrics were pleasant.
I liked the range of the melody from high to low in the verses and the groove was nice.
Overall a nice listen thanks!
Rich
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 39
Casual Observer
|
|
OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 39 |
Yea I'll think about rewriting the melody for the chorus. I kinda liked it but i'll try reworking it. You aren't the first person to say that. I don't know if my vocal range can go a 3rd or 5th higher than that though. We'll see!
EDIT: Also I don't know if i have the vocal ability nor theory to properly set a melody a 3rd or 5th higher. Is that just putting it 2 steps higher?
Last edited by Michael Liu; 06/15/13 08:20 AM.
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
|
Forums118
Topics129,176
Posts1,186,193
Members21,480
| |
Most Online236,505
Jul 1st, 2026
|
|
|
"Do not endeavor to be the smartest kid in a dumb class. Instead, you are better off being the dumbest kid in the smartest class, where you will be challenged and you will learn. If you aren't growing, you are dying." -Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|
