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JPF is Back
by John Lawrence Schick - 07/31/26 11:55 AM
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néomÃ
by Gary E. Andrews - 07/24/26 08:58 PM
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Joined: Jun 2005
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Imaginin’ (Neil Cotton)
~C We hear the whistle of the train See it ramble round the bend We smell the cattle cars, Feel the ground vibratin’ We taste the black smoke And begin imaginin’
Who has never stood by the tracks and marveled at the sound Of the clickity clack of steel wheels travelling round & round If there are any who missed, that rhythmic experience They won’t understand how trains, intoxicate each sense
I’ve closed my eyes and seen hobos jumping on board Heard songs of the freedom slaves escaping the Civil War Felt the club of railway cops busting convicts on the run Caught the scent of mountain pines begging travelers to come
We hear the whistle of the train See it ramble round the bend We smell the cattle cars, Feel the ground vibratin’ We taste the black smoke And begin imaginin’
Johnny, Merle, Hanks and Jimmy before them Wrote of the romance behind the big engines
We hear the whistle of the train See it ramble round the bend We smell the cattle cars, Feel the ground vibratin’ We taste the black smoke And begin imaginin’
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Joined: Nov 2010
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Hi Neil. This one has possibilities. I think the chorus at the start lays the foundation but the first verse is where the imaginin' should start.
Maybe talk about the workers building the tracks, visitors at Christmas, robberies etc. The second verse is spot on though.
Vic
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Thanks Vic....will consider your suggestions...no music yet so it's not in stone. I wrote it V1 C V2 so V1 was more of an intro...maybe I should go back to that.
Last edited by Neil Cotton; 02/10/14 11:53 AM.
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Hello Neil A great start and theme if you're like me and love train songs.Not so sure about the line with rhythmic experience but it's well worth developing this and I'll try and offer some ideas soon as Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Nov 2010
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Neil. I think you should keep the chorus where it is as it sets the scene, then rewrite the first verse to include more imaginings.
Vic
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I've taken liberties with your lyric Neil lol
Hear the whistle from the train as it ramble's around the bend Smell the crowded cattle cars, Feel the ground vibratin’ Get a taste of that black smoke to start your mind imaginin’
Tell me! Ever stood by the tracks and marveled at the sound Of the clickity clack of steel wheels travelling round & round? Watched them lanterns swing,see the engineer take full control give a blast on his 'ole whistle that would waken long dead souls Travis
Last edited by Travis david; 02/10/14 06:40 PM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hi Neil, like the others here, I feel this has possibilities. My only nit is saying "we". I'd rather say "I" or not as all, as Travis has suggested. Keep refining this one. I think it has potential.
Betty J. Holt
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Hey Travis and Betty will be on this in some detail soon. Your suggestions are being considered ...trust me...much appreciated.
Last edited by Neil Cotton; 02/11/14 09:57 PM.
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