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néomí
by Gary E. Andrews - 07/24/26 08:58 PM
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
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OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8 |
RECLUSIVE TROUBADOUR
V
Wild wind was blowing
soon it started snowing
Made it to my cabin in time
lit a blazing log fire
coffee brewing on the wire
longed for the spring sunshine
v
Winters worst I've been through
can't lick a warming stew
lit the cobalt lamps closed the blind's
My sleepy hound dogs company
have a radio, but no TV
random words I need to rhyme
c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
I'm a reclusive troubadour by design
v
Footprints in the snow
are incoming, those that go
but you'll find that they're all mine
There's not a cabin for miles
unspoilt beauty raw and wild
brought my gun and fishing line
b
wrote a minor hit last time I was in this place
half a dozen more that vanished without trace.
Gave me a little freedom to come back
even write a song about a guy living in some mountain shack
c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
a reclusive troubadour by design
-------------------------------------------------------------
RECLUSIVE TROUBADOUR
V
A wild wind was blowing
then soon it started snowing
Made it to my cabin in time
lit a blazing log fire
hot coffee brewing on the wire
and longed for the spring sunshine
v
Winters worst I've been through
can't lick a warming pan of stew
lit the cobalt lamps closed the blind's
My sleepy hound dogs company
have a radio, but no TV
random words I need to rhyme
c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
I'm a reclusive troubadour by design
v
The footprints in the snow
are incoming and those that go
but you'll find that they're all mine
There's not a cabin for miles
unspoilt beauty raw and wild
brought my gun and fishing line
b
wrote a minor hit last time I was in this place
half a dozen more that vanished without trace.
Gave me a little freedom to come back
even write a song about a guy living in some mountain shack
c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
a reclusive troubadour by design
----------------------------------------------------------------
RECLUSIVE TROUBADOUR BY DESIGN
V
Strong wind was blowing
then it started snowing
Made it to my cabin in time
lit a blazing log fire
hot coffee on the wire
and longing for the spring sunshine
v
Cold freezes me right through
cooked a warming pan of stew
lit the cobalt lamps closed the blind's
My sleepy hounds company
have a radio, but no TV
miscellaneous words I need to rhyme
c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
I'm a reclusive troubadour by design
v
The footprints in the snow
oncoming and then they go
you'll find that they're all mine
There's not a soul for miles
unspoilt beauty but wild
need a gun and fishing line
b
wrote a minor hit last time I was in this place
half a dozen more that vanished without trace.
Gave me a little freedom to come back
even write a song about a guy living in some mountain shack
c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
a reclusive troubadour by design
Last edited by Travis david; 03/05/15 08:05 AM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,096
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Top 100 Poster
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Posts: 4,096 |
I like this Travis!
Love the hook!
I think alotta song writers can be described as recluse.
I like bein' a loner, much'a the time.
Geneva
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
Top 10 Poster
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OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8 |
Hi Geneva
thanks for looking by and leaving a comment
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
Top 10 Poster
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8 |
Done a rewrite on this one and changed the title too
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386 |
RECLUSIVE TROUBADOUR
V
A wild wind was blowing
then soon it started snowing
Made it to my cabin in time
lit a blazing log fire
hot coffee brewing on the wire
and longed for the spring sunshine
v
Winters worst I've been through
can't lick a warming pan of stew
lit the cobalt lamps closed the blind's
My sleepy hound dogs company
have a radio, but no TV
miscellaneous words I need to rhyme
c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
I'm a reclusive troubadour by design
v
The footprints in the snow
are incoming and those that go
but you'll find that they're all mine
There's not a cabin for miles
unspoilt beauty raw and wild
brought my gun and fishing line
b
wrote a minor hit last time I was in this place
half a dozen more that vanished without trace.
Gave me a little freedom to come back
even write a song about a guy living in some mountain shack
c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
a reclusive troubadour by design
----------------------------------------------------------------
RECLUSIVE TROUBADOUR BY DESIGN
V
Strong wind was blowing
then it started snowing
Made it to my cabin in time
lit a blazing log fire
hot coffee on the wire
and longing for the spring sunshine
v
Cold freezes me right through
cooked a warming pan of stew
lit the cobalt lamps closed the blind's
My sleepy hounds company
have a radio, but no TV
miscellaneous words I need to rhyme
c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
I'm a reclusive troubadour by design
v
The footprints in the snow
oncoming and then they go
you'll find that they're all mine
There's not a soul for miles
unspoilt beauty but wild
need a gun and fishing line
b
wrote a minor hit last time I was in this place
half a dozen more that vanished without trace.
Gave me a little freedom to come back
even write a song about a guy living in some mountain shack
c
Guitar and spare strings
a voice that almost sings
Got long hair and nearing my prime
Writing songs is what I do
but I need the solitude
a reclusive troubadour by design
Hey Travis, I like your hook here, and the payoff in the chorus especially. I might be inclined though, to strip it down even further, to "Recluse Troubadour" -- for sing-ability purposes. I also enjoyed the story...I think it's very relatable for certain folks of the creative persuasion. To be honest, I felt your original lyric was a bit more streamlined and accordingly had a greater sense of urgency. Although, depending on the music and how it was sung... version 2 might work better. Would love to hear this one musicated Travis. Good luck with it. Cheers, Beth
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
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Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Hi Travis,
Nice write and imagery!
I was wondering if "miscellaneous" is a mouthful? I was thinking that you could replace that one word with something about having paper and pen ... to make it more clear, from the beginning, that he's a poet!
Lisa
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
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OP
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Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8 |
Thanks for your comments Beth now I'm not sure myself which version I like.Yes I agree it needs stripping down which I'll liook at soon
Cheers
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
Top 10 Poster
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OP
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8 |
Random would probably work Lisa I'll take a further look for the rewrite thanks for your help
Travis
PS Changed it to "Random"
Last edited by Travis david; 03/03/15 03:50 PM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325 |
like Beth,a little more stripped down.Shorten this,fine tune that and bring out that troubadour.This one has potential Travis.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
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OP
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8 |
Thanks Mike and Beth I've reduced it a little and posted the result
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325 |
much easier to sing now Travis,i like what you've cut out.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
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Cheers Mike I appreciate your thoughts on this as a composers/singer
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2
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Is this song about Townes Van Zandt? He was the first that came to my mind.
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
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No just a made up lyric./story Brian but I like the guy though!Cheers thanks for looking by
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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