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Thanks, Mike Z!
I made some changes based upon your observation about the chorus sounding like it taunted Raju! I hope this is better!
Thx, Travis, for the "living" in verse one and the "trusting" in verse 4!
Mike Z. -- I made your change to the last chorus -- THANKS!

RAJU

Raju the Elephant
Understood fear
Chained and shackled
For fifty years
Nearly a skeleton
He lived Living on trash
While those who held him
Collected cash

Why do you still cry, Raju? I know why you still cry, Raju
Who is there to free you? No one comes to free you

Raju the Elephant
On India’s streets
Begging strangers
So he might eat
He braved harsh elements
While people stared
For too many years
Not a soul cared No one seemed to care - thx, Mike Z!

Why do you still cry, Raju? I know why you still cry, Raju
Who is there to free you? No one comes to free you

Raju the Elephant
Awoke one night
Many kind hands
Touched him just right
When he was hesitant
They held out fruit
With his cruel owner
In hot pursuit

Why do you still cry, Raju? I know why you still cry, Raju
We are here to free you!

Raju the elephant
Could feel the lash
His owner’s whip
Upon his back
But with great elegance
He kept going
Following Trusting his guides
Big tears flowing

Why do you still cry, Raju? I know why you still cry, Raju
We are here to free you!

Raju the elephant
Was finally saved
Thirty-six men
To free the slave
They gave him medicine
Removed his chains
His very first time
Free of his pain

Why do we still cry, Raju? I know why we still cry, Raju (do) you know why we still cry, Raju?
There are others like you

(c) 2015, Lisa Gundling

Here's a link to an article about Raju's story...
Raju

a very touching story Lisa!I'm glad you wrote about it.What is amazing is they stole a pachyderm,i can't get away with stealing a pack of gum.Mike

Nice story, Lisa. Excellent for kids. We empathize more with animals today than we do with each other.

A heartbreaking story - and tear-jerking lyrics Lisa. Bravo!

And Raju will never know how much you care.

Best, John

Hi Lisa,

A sad story but written very well.



Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Nice story Lisa. Animal cruelty sucks.

I like a happy ending.

Dave

Hi Michael,

THANKS!

It turns out that after they saved him, his owners sued to get him back.
I was biting my nails for months, waiting for the court verdict.
The owners lost.
It turns out that in India, only the government can own elephants, unless they give someone a special certificate. The owners could not produce a certificate, so Raju gets to remain free.

They believe that Raju had several owners over his lifetime but all kept him in chains. His cuts will still take years to heal.

And yeah, I know that you and Calvin harbor a secret desire to harbor an elephant -- I've heard the song and seen the pictures!! LOL!

Lisa

its a hurry-up world, and all about a buck" these days. we never take time. thank goodness in this case it turned good. so many don`t. Hi Lisa, thanks for sharing the write and the source. Lane

Hi Lisa,

Beautifully done, and I read the article afterwards and it seems you've kept the truth intact while turning this into a moving lyric with a changing chorus.

One thing occurred to me as possibly being overstated, and that's "He braved harsh elements/While people stared/For too many years/Not a soul cared" when in truth there were probably a lot of people who cared, but weren't in any position to really do anything about the poor animal, so my thought was that something like "so few seemed to care" might be more accurate. I can imagine the sight of a chained elephant who looked skeletal would have been alarming to many people, especially tourists.

"Why do you still cry/who is there to free you" insinuates that Rahu had been crying for a time well before he was freed, and he very well may have been crying tears of sadness for years, before, but the construction of the lines makes me have to stop and think. The thought of their being tears both before and after is a good thought, but I had to arrive there with a little brain work. This is okay if you don't mind some lines being poetic and needing time to understand! I find it rather beautiful and don't need perfect transparency in every line to enjoy a song or lyric.

I could hear John Prine singing this in my head, and found myself welling up a bit while reading your lyric; it captures the emotion of Rahu's plight and eventual freedom very beautifully.

Well done, Lisa!

Mike

Hi Jim,

Thanks so much!
I think that animals seem so much less complicated, so it's sometimes easier to empathize with them.

Lisa

Hi John,

Thanks ... I'm so glad you like it!
You have no idea how much I care about this darn elephant -- lol!
I read his story when it first happened and he hasn't been off my mind since.
They auctioned off four of his footprints last year as a fundraiser and I missed the chance to buy one and was kicking myself! I e-mailed the organization, begging for another footprint, but they didn't have any.

And regarding Raju not knowing how much I care ... I read that the organization that saved him, Wildlife SOS, has a five-day volunteer program, which would give me the chance to meet Raju and maybe give him a bath or something.

Of course, I'm not going to go to India to do that, but I'm sorely tempted!

Lisa

Hi Calvin,

It IS sad --poor little Raju -- thank you!
Too bad you and Michael couldn't have stashed Raju somewhere safe years ago! I know you two were plotting, though!

Lisa

Hi Dave,

Yes, animal cruelty sucks. You said it perfectly.
I'm happy that little Raju has as happy an ending as can be.
I read that he was accepted by the other elephants (they weren't sure if that was going to happen), so he has a new family!

Thanks for your nice visit!
Lisa

Hi Lane,

Thanks for taking the time to read about Raju!
He's become my little source of inspiration. When I think I'm having a bad day, I think of Raju's bad days and realize that things are good!

Thanks for checking this out!
Lisa

Hi Mike,

Thank you for your uplifting words about Raju and the lyric!

I think you're right about "not a soul cared" being softened to your suggestion of "So few seemed to care." I made the change. THANK YOU!

It's funny because I lingered over that line for a while. I knew I was sounding harsh, but the bitter part of me kept thinking ... why didn't anyone do anything for 50 years?! No one truly could have cared. (I always think that if I don't fix something that I see is wrong, it means that I must not truly care, or I'd do everything I could to fix it. That's unrealistic, too, though...)

Anyway, I know that's not true about no one caring about Raju . Wildlife SOS eventually cared enough to risk their lives. Plus, he was sold 27 times, so it's not like he sat in one spot for 50 years, where the same people saw him day after day.

Regarding the crying ... I went back and forth about that and now you have me pondering it again.

At first, I thought the remarkable thing was that he cried when they rescued him, and I imagined it was the first time that he possibly ever cried.

But, maybe it was the first time he cried tears of joy.

I read in one of the articles (maybe the one I posted the link to) that the rescuers thought, at first, that he was crying in agony, because every step was painful. Then, they realized he was crying out of joy.

So ... that's when I decided to make the leap and assume that he had cried tears of agony, before crying tears of joy.

One other option I'd considered was, in the chorus, asking him something like, "why don't you ever cry, Raju?/You know no one will free you."

Then, when he finally does cry ... that could be the big thing.

Do you think that might be a better approach?!

Thanks so much for your insights and help!

Lisa

Hi Lisa,

"No one seemed to care" is also a line there that occurred to me, where you had "not a soul cared." It infers that somebody had to, but none stepped forward.

"why don't you ever cry, Raju?/You know no one will free you"

Thinking..maybe "it's okay to cry.." that way whether he cried or not before is skirted? there's something about telling him "you know no one will free you" that almost seems cruel. Maybe make that his inner thoughts, instead?

I think it's a beautiful line that you have ("why do you still cry, Raju/we are here to free you"), it just "stops the flow" momentarily, in order to understand its implications.

Mike

Hi Lisa,

I have rehabed many birds and animals in my time. Some seperated from parents, others victims of abuse. It is very time consuming and costly, but worth every minute of lost sleep and expense. I love your story and you told it well. Good enough to put a lump in my throt. As far as writing, it is obvious that you know what you are doing.

Well done
jody

Hi Lisa,

This reads well and I can see you’ve been give some great suggestions already, so I’ll just say this is an upsetting, yet touching story to learn about, and you tell it with heart. And it flows with ease as you tell it.

The one thing I notice is “understood” is in past tense and I wonder how it, if at all, it would shed light on Raju and match the events, especially with his tears, if it was in present tense?

Just a thought! That’s all I’ve got!

Kristi

Lisa--

Very sad--you do a sensitive and touching treatment of this lyric--I like it!

Mackie

A sad tale Lisa but one with a hopefully happy ending for poor Raju.
Just returned from Cyprus where animals are treated badly, thankfully not on this heartbreaking scale.
Travis

Hi Again, Mike,

I really love your idea of "it's okay to cry, Raju!"
However, I kept playing around with it and couldn't make it fit quite right.
Maybe I'm too stuck on the idea that the first line of each chorus should be as identical as possible.

After hemming and hawing, I now have, "I know why you cry, Raju" as the first line in each chorus, and I've slightly changed the second line too. I'm liking it, I think, and I'm hoping it works!

I also like your "no one seemed to care" so I've used that, too!
Thank you!!

I wonder if, as an ending, I should add your, "it's okay to cry." I keep loving that line...

Thanks so much for your help!
Lisa

Hi JodyWayne,

It's a wonderful thing you do, helping animals in distress!
Thanks so much for your nice comments here ... I'm delighted it touched you!

Lisa

Hi Kristi,

I had a version where I had the verses in the present tense, and I kept playing around with it and settled on the past tense for the verses and present tense for the chorus. I liked it both way, but liked it this way a little more, though I'm not sure why! That being said, you had me going through it again, going through the tenses...I'm thinking!

Thanks so much for stopping by with your always-thoughtful comments and help!

Lisa

Hi Mackie,

Thanks so much!
And don't stay away so long ... it's nice to see you back!!

Lisa

Hi Travis,

Welcome back from Cyprus!
Yeah, people treat other people so badly...I guess it's unrealistic to think that animals wouldn't have it worse, in many cases ...
I'm so glad you like it -- thanks!

Lisa

very good.

jUST A FEW IDEAS lISA

RAJU

Raju the Elephant
SHED MANY TEARS
Chained and shackled
For fifty years
Nearly a skeleton
LIVING on trash
While HIS JAILERS
COUNTED THE cash

Why do you still cry, Raju? I know why you still cry, Raju
Who is there to free you? No one comes to free you

Raju the Elephant
On India’s streets
Begging strangers
So he might eat
He braved harsh elements
While people stared
For too many years
Not a soul cared No one seemed to care - thx, Mike Z!

Why do you still cry, Raju? I know why you still cry, Raju
Who is there to free you? No one comes to free you

Raju the Elephant
Awoke WITH FRIGHT
EXPECTING CRUEL HANDS
THIS DIDN'T FEEL RIGHT
RIGHTLY hesitant
They held out fruit
With his cruel owner
In hot pursuit

Why do you still cry, Raju? I know why you still cry, Raju
We are here to free you!

Raju the elephant
OFTEN feLT the lash
FROM His owner’s whip
ACROSS his back
But with great elegance
He kept going
TRUSTING his guides
Big tears flowing

Hi Neil,

Thanks for the read and thumbs up!

Lisa

Hey Travis,

Thanks for your edits to this!

I used your "living" in verse one and your "trusting" in verse 4!

In verse one, I didn't use the tears line, because I wanted to "save" the crying for the chorus.

And speaking of chorus ... I really like what you've done and if this ever gets music, I'll share your take on it with whoever does it. That being said ... I was going for brevity in the chorus, because I wanted the story to be all about Raju, with just a whisper of the narrator's thoughts.

I like your expecting cruel hands and those changes ... but I'm not sure I like them better or the same as what I have now, so I'm holding off there!

And, finally, in the verse about feeling the lash ... your change lets the listener know that he was often whipped, which is good, but I was going for the effect of his final whipping. The owner got so angry when they came to get him that he whipped Raju, trying to make him angry so that he'd chase away or harm the rescuers. Maybe, the way I have it, that's not clear enough, so you've got me thinking about that, too!

Thanks so much for your help!

Lisa

Just happy to help no credit,I'm too shy

Just noticed one too many CRUELS in that expecting cruel hands portion of the lyric

Yeah that's you ... Travis the Shy Guy! lol!

OH, I didn't notice the two cruels there either!
Well, if I incorporate those changes, I'll work that out!

Hi Lisa,

"I know why you still cry" is perfect. It's a chorus speaking to the elephant, telling him we understand his sorrow.

I wonder if, for the last taggy chorus it could be a total reversal:

(do) you know why we still cry, Rahu
there are others like you

Since the chorus is still engaging Rahu in conversation, in the taggy chorus, it's more direct to ask Rahu "(do)you know why" than to simply inform him "I know why" --and hope he's paying attention. "You know why" --close to your original line, there, sort of addresses him personally. My thoughts, anyway.

I love it..fantastic work!

Mike

Hi Mike,

THANK YOU -- I'M SMILING!

I love your idea for the last taggy chorus, so I've used it -- THANKS!

Also, my mom is the one who came up with "I know why you still cry, Raju."
I told her that if you liked it, I'd give her the credit!

Thanks so much for all of your encouragement and help on this!
Lisa

Hey Lisa
A very moving and well written lyric. we see this kind of cruelty far too often.

Peace
Joe

Hi Joe,

Oops! I'm sorry -- I realized I didn't respond to your nice note!
Thanks so much ... and I agree about the cruelty ... so sad...

Lisa

Nicely done, Lisa. That's a sad story. I wonder what RAJU would do if his previous owner showed up?

My wife went to India last year. Much of it was beautiful and interesting but there are literally millions of people without a pot to pee in.

Hi Colin,

Thanks so much!

Yes, that is an interesting question about how he would react to his previous owner. I mentioned earlier in the thread that his previous owner took Wildlife SOS to court, trying to get him back, but they lost. If he had to go back ... I'd be in India now, as a human shield -- lol!

That's nice that your wife got to visit India! Regarding the poverty ... I'm always fascinated about why some people retain their humanity in terrible conditions, while others succumb and lose their humanity. I recently watched a video of a woman in a very poor village in an Asian country who sold her 12-year-old daughter's virginity to pay off a loan. Her daughter is now humiliated in school, because everyone knows. So I think ... why didn't the other mothers sell their daughters, when they're just as poor? I guess the question is unanswerable...

Lisa