JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum "Gonna Be A Reckoning"

Home recorded on 9/13/15 using acoustic guitar, bass, and shakers. A bit darker and more somber than I usually write but here it is:

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13211579

https://soundcloud.com/j-fleming-2/gonna-be-a-reckoning

Sometimes I feel so lonesome I don't know what to do

I sit alone in my darkened room looking at photos of you

I know that I must get out go outside and face my fears some day.

I don't find it easy to be out there in a crowd

it always makes me nervous and always bring me down

but as long as I have memories of you I know that I'll get by some way

There's gonna be a reckoning ... a reckoning ... and life will be new

Some day there's gonna be a reckoning and when that day comes ...

I can survive without you.

Instrumental

Still sitting all alone inside my darkened room

I need to find some daylight and get away from all this gloom

But I just keep on searching try find another photograph of you

I find this life so empty now that you are not around

I strain my ears to hear your voice but I don't hear a sound

Since you're no longer here these photos will just have to do

There's gonna be a reckoning ... a reckoning ... and life will be new

Some day there's gonna be a reckoning and when that day comes ...

I'll survive without you.

There's gonna be a reckoning ... a reckoning ... and life will go on

Some day there's gonna be a reckoning and when that day comes ...

and this pain I feel will be gone.

Nice tune. Lovely haunting pace and mood.

I thought the pace of this gave the song a very cool vibe overall. I liked the guitar work as well. I thought that lyrically some of the lines didn't quite fit, and felt hurried and rushed when you were singing them. I think it would be helpful go through all the lines and cut any unnecessary syllables out to help the song flow better overall. One of the lines that stuck out the most was "Some day there's gonna be a reckoning and when that day comes/and all this pain will be gone" and all the equivalent lines earlier in the song.

Overall, though, I thought this was a really cool start. Good stuff, and good luck with it!

Kyle

Hey there Jimmy....I like this very much...however, I think you should play around with the melody a bit more. It really smacks of Segar's, "Turn The Page".
Like what you did with the recording. A very full and rich sound!
Good stuff!
-Tom

Dark, dark and yet there is the hint of hope.
Haunting in an effective way. Actually,
a bit mesmerizing as you get caught in
the flow.

Enjoyed it.

J&B

Thank you so much Philip ... much appreciated!

Thanks for the listen and I appreciate your thoughts on this song. I actually came up with the chord progression for this song first and then recorded it while I just randomly sang whatever came to mind ... I took what I sang and used almost 80% of it to create the version that I sang on this recording.

Hey Tom ... I really appreciate your thoughts on this song and I agree with the Segar sound ... I just didn't know what Segar song it reminded me of.

A good listen there, Jimmy. I would agree with Kyle - there are some places where you could easily eliminate extra words to smooth it out.. fj

Hi Jimmy,
I really like it ... it does have a mesmerizing quality ... makes you just want to sit and chill and think....
Lisa

Alright Jimmy,this is right up and down my alley,i dig these songs that seem to come from pain but see a light ahead.The music is pretty badass too!Mike

Hi Jimmy.
I think you got something worth working on. Maybe change some of the melody so it doesn't sound too much like "turn the page".
Also, you could try some different effects on your vocal to match the ones on the instruments.
At the moment it sounds like you're singing in a different space to them.
Maybe add a bit of compression on the whole of it.
It all needs bringing together, production wise.
As a song though, I like it a lot.

Vic

Thanks for the listen J&B and the very kind words ... much appreciated!!

Thank you very much Lisa ... much appreciated!!

Thanks Mike ... I really appreciate your kind words!!!

Thanks for listening Vic and I really appreciate your thoughts!!!