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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
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OP
Top 100 Poster
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,878 Likes: 2 |
A HAND TO HOLD
c2016 Brian Beecher
You may be feeling a little moody
And find it hard to crack a smile
It’s ok to do a deep emotional
Dive every once in a while
When you get stuck down at the bottom
And you feel like you’ve hit a rock
There is one in which I can help you
To swim back up to the top
I’ll give you a hand to hold
To give you shelter from the cold
The kind that can’t be bought or sold
But can light the darkest day
Because you need to see the sunlight
Where your source of strength should reside
So that all of your days seem bright
In a very special way
When the sky looks a little darker
And you cannot spread your wings
Making you focus even harder
And that can be a good thing
Just remember to be thankful
That you’ve been given a head start
I may want you even more
Than I ever have before
I can feel it in my heart
I’ve give you a hand to hold
To give you shelter from the cold
The kind that can’t be bought or sold
But can light the darkest day
Because you need to see the sunlight
Where your source of strength should reside
So that all of your days seem bright
In a very special way
In a very special way
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9 |
This is a good write IMHO Beechnut.
A ballad for sure. Needs a power voice to do it justice.
Vic
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8 |
Both lyrical and poetic Brian, very well written and as Vic stated needing a good vocal
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,018 Likes: 7
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,018 Likes: 7 |
Hi Beech,
It's a good write with an interesting play on words. I think I'd have to hear it though. I got kind of lost with the 2 parts to the first verse compared to 3 parts to the 2nd verse. Also the syllable count threw me off. I couldn't get a rhythm to it as I read it because of the differences. It might iron itself out though the way you intend it to play out. Hope you are doing well. Best wishes!
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386 |
A HAND TO HOLD
c2016 Brian Beecher
WHEN YOU feel a little moody
And find it hard to crack a smile
It's ok to TAKE aN emotional
Dive every once in a while
When YOU'RE stuck down at the bottom
And feel you've hit a rock
I KNOW HOW I can help you
Swim back up to the top
I'll give you a hand to hold
To give you shelter from the cold
The kind that can't be bought or sold
But can light the darkest day
Because you need THE SUN TO SHINE
Where your source of strength should reside
So that all of your days seem bright
In a very special way
When the sky looks a little darker
And you cannot spread your wings
Making you focus even harder
And that can be a good thing ......don't think you need this
Just remember to be thankful
That you've been given a head start
I may want you even more
Than I ever have before
I can feel it in my heart
I've give you a hand to hold
To give you shelter from the cold
The kind that can't be bought or sold
But can light the darkest day
Because you need THE SUN TO SHINE
Where your source of strength should reside
So that all of your days seem bright
In a very special way
In a very special way
Hey there Beech, Good to see ya, and with such a sentimental lyric too. I do think though, it could use a little tightening up. And while I appreciate you mixing up your rhyme systems from one section to the next, it does make it a bit tricky from a flow standpoint. Also, in the second verse, what does the "one" refer to? When you get stuck down at the bottom
And you feel like you've hit a rock
There is one in which I can help you
To swim back up to the topAnyhoo, for what it's worth, I tried to play around with it a little. As usual, KOS!! Thanks for sharing.... Beth
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712 |
A lot of inspiration here, Brian.
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