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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
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Well, Well, Well. My first song of 2017. This one started out one way, took a right turn down a rabbit hole, coming out the other side with a whole different theme...I thought I wanted to write about one thing but the song didn't want to go there and I ended up with an ode to my tiny hometown in Kentucky. The vocal isn't what I'd like it to be as I've been getting over a cold and the voice is uncontrollable. For those of you who remember the Green Acres TV show back in the 60s I sound like Mr. Haney going through puberty. Still up to some lyrical changes in places but the rhythm section is done. I Need A Town Like You © 2017 Steven M. Biederman http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13509861There's a little house back near a cul-de-sac Where I'd wait for the bus when the morning was still black Well it's been a long while since I've been back But it's something I gotta do There's a river that cuts through a flood plain there Every 50 years it rises and the people get scared All the steel went to Asia and the jobs got scarce The blast furnace powered down too [Pre-Chorus] When I went off to college I didn't look back If I did it would be too soon Well the piper played And I didn't dance to that tune [Chorus] Its 40 years later and there's still no jobs And I wonder what those people do I didn't want to end up like Randy and Bob Didn't need a tiny town like you I had a lot big plans to make money by the sack And I bragged a lot about them, and you never turned your back You were always still there when I got off track I guess I spoke too soon When I scoffed at your people of faith, I sealed my fate Dad always sent me money, I was always on the take Though I never thought of him as a mental heavyweight But I guess I was wrong there too [Pre-Chorus] When I went off to college I didn't look back If I did it would be too soon Well the piper played And I didn't dance to that tune [Chorus] Its been over 20 years since I saw Dad last I lived too far away and he died too fast And I can't do a thing to get my childhood back Didn't need a tiny town like you [Bridge] Now our kids are grown and we're on our own I did the best I could do Now of all of their pleasures and all of their treasures They want to go back to you [Chorus] Its been over 20 years since I saw you last This time I'm not passing through Wish that I could take back what I said in the past I need a tiny town like you [Repeat Chorus] [Tag] I need a tiny town like you I need a tiny town like you
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 19,858 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Nice job Stevie, It's always interesting how songs start out one way and end up going in a different direction. Calvin http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 4,029 Likes: 28
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 4,029 Likes: 28 |
Stevie,
I grew up in a tiny town of about 300 folks--moved to a larger town of about 12,000 at age 11. That seemed like a big place after the small town, and was a good bigger town for sure where I went to HS. But the small town memories of my younger childhood have always been precious, and some of those friends I still have. Small towns represent some good folks and Americana that many will never know.
I like your song's sentiment, good start. Nothing lyrically jumps out that doesn't feel right. I might rather here a 6 string acoustic than the Rickenbacker with this vibe for a more conventional sound--not saying you should, just might be a more neutral background for these lyrics. Get well, and re-do your vocals when you feel better, I could tell you have a cold--but maybe that's a small town thing? LOL.
Nice song Stevie!
steady-eddie.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325 |
big dreams in a tiny town.It's always good to come back home.I like the story here Lil' Stevie and the groove is nice n catchy.Mike
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
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OP
Top 50 Poster
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581 |
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
Top 50 Poster
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OP
Top 50 Poster
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581 |
Stevie,
I grew up in a tiny town of about 300 folks--moved to a larger town of about 12,000 at age 11. That seemed like a big place after the small town, and was a good bigger town for sure where I went to HS. But the small town memories of my younger childhood have always been precious, and some of those friends I still have. Small towns represent some good folks and Americana that many will never know.
I like your song's sentiment, good start. Nothing lyrically jumps out that doesn't feel right. I might rather here a 6 string acoustic than the Rickenbacker with this vibe for a more conventional sound--not saying you should, just might be a more neutral background for these lyrics. Get well, and re-do your vocals when you feel better, I could tell you have a cold--but maybe that's a small town thing? LOL.
Nice song Stevie!
steady-eddie. Thanks for the feedback, Eddie. I've remixed and remastered the whole thing. I guess I ignored the most basic principle of production. I had ear fatigue and didn't give it a rest and do it with fresh ears. It sounded dull and lifeless so I brightened it up. Made it too harsh. No Ric on there though. It's my Epiphone Casino, another Beatle guitar on opposing tracks with different amps and strum patterns. I took some of the effects off those tracks to give a more natural sound. I think it's better now. Stevie
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 13,325
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well while my critique kinda sounds that it came from Soul Train,i must say,i'll give it a 4 on the dance scale.Mike
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
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big dreams in a tiny town.It's always good to come back home.I like the story here Lil' Stevie and the groove is nice n catchy.Mike Thanks Mike Stevie
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 6,916 Likes: 9
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Joined: Nov 2010
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A fine social commentary Stevie.
A few wordy lines you may want to experiment with when you feel up to it, most noticeably this one:
"When I scoffed at your people of faith, I sealed my fate."
Vic
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
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Always been a city dweller up to 15 yearso agosadly my home city took a nose dived too.
Good story, good production Stevie
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
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OP
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Joined: May 2001
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well while my critique kinda sounds that it came from Soul Train,i must say,i'll give it a 4 on the dance scale.Mike Ha Ha Mike. Is that on a scale of 1 to 10 or 1-5? Stevie
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 7,712
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Stevie, Your song documents the odyssey of the baby boomer generation. Maybe we can go home again.
Jim
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Joined: May 2001
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A fine social commentary Stevie.
A few wordy lines you may want to experiment with when you feel up to it, most noticeably this one:
"When I scoffed at your people of faith, I sealed my fate."
Vic Thanks Vic. I think it's more a case of poor phrasing than anything. I wasn't as familiar with the lyric as I could have been when I recorded it, plus my breathing was hampered by the cold. We'll see when I redo the vocal. I can always shorten it then if it doesn't work out. Stevie
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
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OP
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581 |
Always been a city dweller up to 15 yearso agosadly my home city took a nose dived too.
Good story, good production Stevie
Travis Thanks Travis, Stevie
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
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OP
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581 |
Stevie, Your song documents the odyssey of the baby boomer generation. Maybe we can go home again.
Jim Thanks for the comment, Jim. Stevie
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 5,581
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OP
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Joined: May 2001
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Ricki sent me a rather in depth PM with a lot of great suggestions that I'm going to take into consideration when I redo this one. Don't know when I'll get around to it as I'm going to be busy performing for awhile but I want to thank her publicly for caring enough to be straight with me and making the song much stronger. Some of what she suggested I was already concerned about but she made some great points. I appreciate it, Ricki. You're a friend.
Stevie
I'm the only person here who is not unique.
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 5,830
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Hey Stevie, That's a really solid write mate. Heck Stevie, having heard you sing before, you really need to get over that cold. The pitch is well....... hmmmmmm.  Besides that though, it's a really cruisey tune with great lyrics and a very listenable musical arrangement. The story arc just flows, and finalises the whole piece. It's a keeper for sure. cheers, niteshift
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,704
Top 100 Poster
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 2,704 |
Well, Well, Well. My first song of 2017. This one started out one way, took a right turn down a rabbit hole, coming out the other side with a whole different theme...I thought I wanted to write about one thing but the song didn't want to go there and I ended up with an ode to my tiny hometown in Kentucky. The vocal isn't what I'd like it to be as I've been getting over a cold and the voice is uncontrollable. For those of you who remember the Green Acres TV show back in the 60s I sound like Mr. Haney going through puberty. Still up to some lyrical changes in places but the rhythm section is done. I Need A Town Like You © 2017 Steven M. Biederman http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13509861There's a little house back near a cul-de-sac Where I'd wait for the bus when the morning was still black Well it's been a long while since I've been back But it's something I gotta do There's a river that cuts through a flood plain there Every 50 years it rises and the people get scared All the steel went to Asia and the jobs got scarce The blast furnace powered down too [Pre-Chorus] When I went off to college I didn't look back If I did it would be too soon Well the piper played And I didn't dance to that tune [Chorus] Its 40 years later and there's still no jobs And I wonder what those people do I didn't want to end up like Randy and Bob Didn't need a tiny town like you I had a lot big plans to make money by the sack And I bragged a lot about them, and you never turned your back You were always still there when I got off track I guess I spoke too soon When I scoffed at your people of faith, I sealed my fate Dad always sent me money, I was always on the take Though I never thought of him as a mental heavyweight But I guess I was wrong there too [Pre-Chorus] When I went off to college I didn't look back If I did it would be too soon Well the piper played And I didn't dance to that tune [Chorus] Its been over 20 years since I saw Dad last I lived too far away and he died too fast And I can't do a thing to get my childhood back Didn't need a tiny town like you [Bridge] Now our kids are grown and we're on our own I did the best I could do Now of all of their pleasures and all of their treasures They want to go back to you [Chorus] Its been over 20 years since I saw you last This time I'm not passing through Wish that I could take back what I said in the past I need a tiny town like you [Repeat Chorus] [Tag] I need a tiny town like you I need a tiny town like you I would change the word "house" to the word "shack" in the first line. A couple of the lines seemed awkward, like there were too many syllables for your meter, but that kind of thing is easy enough to fix. I think since your chorus changes, your title should be "A Tiny Town Like You", because in the beginning of the song you're saying you don't need it, which is the opposite of what your title is saying. Are you singing to the town, or about the town?
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