JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum My first co-write since Helen

Hi John and big thanks for stopping by.

You never said if you liked the song and/video...

With the 'Famous' 'Name Band' thingy, as this line is in the chorus which is a 12 year old boy twanging his guitar and dreaming, I don't think 'name band' would apply (thats a grown up term).

In any event its finished now and been put to bed.

Thanks though and I'm sorry to hear that you are having ups and DOWNS...I know the feeling..

God Bless Roy

Well Roy what can I say....

The first line of the Chorus sings the way I like my Chorus' to go...Because it soars....That is how I like for my CHORUS to be soaring,,,,,

Wish I would have caught you and jane while you were writing this one, I would have encouraged a different storyline....

"Gone is the Wonderland" IMO would be a great innocence AND love lost song......And the TITLE says innocence without you using that word....And the music isn't melancholy, so it would work well...

In any case great effort, & I LOVE THAT FIRST LINE of the CHORUS...That sucka' SINNNNNNGGGGGGSSSSS....

Thanks everyone for your comments on the song.

Roy actually wrote the words to the song (I really shouldn't have any credit on this one) - It's crazy how it came about. He was helping me rewrite some of my old lyrics and the word "Wonderland" was in one of my old lyrics which was about a "star struck" young lady.

So - my lyrics jump started his idea for "Gone is the Wonderland". Roy was kind enough to give me a writer's credit for this.

Thankis Steve for stopping by for a look/listen.

We are so pleased that you liked our song so much. You idea for the '"Gone is the Wonderland" would be a great innocence AND love lost song.' theme would work well as another song, and I may have a go at it and see what comes from it. If I do come up with something, I will let you know.

But as I say, it would be a totally different song lyrically.

thanks again

God Bless Roy

By the way Steve you have some great songs yourself and I have to say a great voice.

Thanks Jane for posting your comment on OUR song 'A Songwriters Dream (Gone Is The Wonderland)'

We started co-writing this together and just because I went off at a tangent and as it were, virtually re-wrote it, doesn't mean that it was not still a co-write.
Without your initial title and idea for "star struck" young lady', the song would not have been written at all. I couldn't relate to a "star struck" young lady', lol so it had to be changed.

I'm just pleased that IMO it turned out so well.

Roy

Hi Roy and Jane:

I brought an excuse for my prolonged absence, read the lyric again, then listened to the song while doing my best to ignore the video. A good song (to my ancient ears) should always sound good on "late night radio" when one is driving from Phoenix to El Paso and beyond... winging my way to West Mayberry.

Enjoyed every line and wish you both success with a well written song. Your male demo artist did yeoman's work.

Glad to be back "home" again. My latest procedure went well but I'm not "out of the woods" yet. Still writing, recording... and re-recording... LOL!

Thanks for sharing. Always good to hear from you.

----Dave

Hi Roy and Jane..

The re-write is really nice and I agree with Steve, the chorus is fantastic.

Roy, I applaud your stick-with-it-ness in getting the song right with re-writes. That's the mark of a diligent craftsman and you are that indeed.

Mike

Hello Roy. Great lyric!

Douglas

Hi Dave - Welcome back -Thanks for the nice words on the song.

Thank you also Mike and Douglas for the listen and nice words - Roy's a perfectionist when it comes to lyric writing. He went all out on this one. Roy -Let's do another song!!! I need more lyrics!!!

Thanks so much for stopping by and having a listen Dave, and I am so pleased that you liked our efforts. I'm pleased that you are home again, doing your thing.

God Bless to all

Roy




WOW Mike, thanks so much for your positive words, and I am so pleased that you enjoyed our work.

God Bless to all

Roy




Thanks for stopping by for a listen Douglas. I am very appreciative.

God Bless to all

Roy





I am probably obsessive Jane lol

It's strange how I often write a song in a couple of hours then typically spend 60 plus hours doing a re-write, that is often miles from the original lol

I am thinking of what to do next, and I will spend a while going over the other song we was working on.

God Bless to all

Roy

I have been out of the loop longer than I thought..Roy I do with all my heart apologize for not being here for you...you know I loved Helen dearly...OMG..and I wasn't here for you when you needed me the most..I am so deeply sorry..you were always..Always here for me no Matter what...and there ARE no words ever to explain how I feel for you too...you have been such a wonderful great friend anyone could ask for ...
Now for this song...really brilliant all around ..the music..vocals..lyrics...all top notch....really loving it sir...and love you with all my heart my friend...tks

glyn

Hi Glynda, It's really good to see you back again and you seem to be perking up somewhat.

I knew that you wasn't in the best of health when my lovely Helen passed away, so I was OK with not hearing from you because I Know and Helen Knew that you loved her very very much, even though you 2 never met.

It was a great loss for me and for family, and I often still feel that my better half is missing, but I soldier on with some amazing memories of mine and Helens time together.

But it is tough...

I am so pleased that you liked mine and Janes song and video. When I think back to our co-writes I still feel so proud of what we did.

'Jackson Kelly' Before He Died & 'Jackson Kelly' After He Died & 'The Only Love We'd Known' & 'Junkyard Junkie' & Halo Of Butterflies’ & 'Wondering As I Cry' plus some others I'm sure. They are all still on youtube and hopefully will be there forever.

God Bless Roy and Helen