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8 members (Fdemetrio, Gary E. Andrews, texritter, Michael W. Brown, Andy K, Guy E. Trepanier, CTthomas, 1 invisible),
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Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
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Wendy Woo
by Gary E. Andrews - 08/22/26 12:36 AM
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John Eddy
by Gary E. Andrews - 08/21/26 03:25 PM
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SHINE
by Rob B. - 08/20/26 02:34 PM
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 513
Top 500 Poster
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OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 513 |
I wrote this awhile back, and I had an epiphany on how to take it to the next level. So, I redid it, and here it is! All critiques welcome, good or bad. COLD GREY EYESCold grey eyes tell your lies Subtle ways can't deny Pretty face, such a waste It aint satisfaction, it's a disgrace There you go again, he's just a friend But I don't care where you been Cold Grey Eyes! Do you amuse your men? Cold Grey Eyes! Is it spite? Cold Grey Eyes! Cut me deep again... Cold Grey Eyes! Just leave me alone in the night You say you want freedom and I gave you chains But isn't that too easy, say I'm to blame I gave you love and held you up when you were sinking down Saved by those chains, you fought to be bound I see the fire burning deep in your eyes Beneath the veil of ice that hides your desires Cold Grey Eyes! Do you abuse your men? Cold Grey Eyes! Is it spite? Cold Grey Eyes! Break my heart again... Cold Grey Eyes! Just leave me alone in the night Cold Grey Eyes! Just leave me alone in the night Cold Grey Eyes! Just leave me alone in the night Cold Grey Eyes! Just leave me alone in the night Cold Grey Eyes! Just leave me alone in the night
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Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 7,297 Likes: 175
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Jun 2019
Posts: 7,297 Likes: 175 |
Very nice mix! I think you should relax your voice, not so much rasp, and sing "cold grey eyes" at half speed... hold it out. Bravo! 
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Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 798
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 798 |
A really, really solid rock song. The arrangement is good and the guitar work, very nice! As I listened I got some quirky ideas. I loved the vocalizer on the refrain, it just dovetailed with the guitar work so nicely. That got me thinking about why not strap it across the entire vocal ala "Sample and Hold" by Neil Young?
..ant
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,651 Likes: 68
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,651 Likes: 68 |
Excellent production TC. Your phrasing is so good and I love the harmonies. You have a very marketable voice. A lot of potential here.
Steve
Creators of music have a responsibility to their craft. When they have finished using all the notes and words, they must pass them down to the next generation with a simple request. “Use these to create new music.”...Steven McDonald
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 12,380 Likes: 8 |
Don't hear many good rock songs on here now. This is a refreshing change..
Excellent all round, great sound and priduction
John
Last edited by Travis david; 05/23/21 06:11 AM.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 271
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 271 |
TC, nice rock intro here. I think you have more room to tell more of a story in lyrics. Guitar bridge rocks. Thanks for sharing.
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Joined: May 2015
Posts: 513
Top 500 Poster
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OP
Top 500 Poster
Joined: May 2015
Posts: 513 |
Very nice mix! I think you should relax your voice, not so much rasp, and sing "cold grey eyes" at half speed... hold it out. Bravo! Thanks. I am pretty limited vocally so the rasp is one of my only weapons! A really, really solid rock song. The arrangement is good and the guitar work, very nice! As I listened I got some quirky ideas. I loved the vocalizer on the refrain, it just dovetailed with the guitar work so nicely. That got me thinking about why not strap it across the entire vocal ala "Sample and Hold" by Neil Young?
..ant Thanks, bud. That is an interesting idea; I will definitely give it some thought. Excellent production TC. Your phrasing is so good and I love the harmonies. You have a very marketable voice. A lot of potential here.
Steve Thanks, Steve. I am not sure who I would market my crusty ol' voice to but I do appreciate the props! Don't hear many good rock songs on here now. This is a refreshing change..
Excellent all round, great sound and priduction
John Thanks, John. I am glad you liked it. I think I am one of the few rockers on JPF, lol. TC, nice rock intro here. I think you have more room to tell more of a story in lyrics. Guitar bridge rocks. Thanks for sharing. Thanks, EJ. I am not sure this is a story kind of song. I had a blast doing the guitars on this song. --------------------- Thanks, folks. I appreciate the listens and comments. Peace, TC
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 306 Likes: 13
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 306 Likes: 13 |
I really like your rock song here, TC. I don't get a chance to hear rock songs, and enjoyed this one. Great performance and production.
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,124 Likes: 87
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 7,124 Likes: 87 |
I liked the raw truth in it. I have seen cold gray eyes (dead shark eyes) on a human before. It's haunting.
There are some things I might change about your song but its personal opinion and taste.
Gonna leave it at...enjoyed your song.
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