JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum Bounce the Ball

Just finished this one.
Does the mandolin solo fit or does it need electric guitar there?

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Bounce the Ball © 2022 Vic Arnold
V1
Somewhere in a far off town
I saw a mountain tumble down
Dark and heavy thunder sound
Oh, how the mighty fall
Try to stop it rolling on
You will find it can't be done
But someday it'll all be gone
Down a big black hole
V2
Let your mind fly to the stars
Wave goodbye to Earth and Mars
Find out where the aliens are
Say you've come to call
Waited all my life it seems
But I've seen you in my dreams
I'm the King and you're the Queen
In our hallowed hall
Ch.
Bounce the ball and follow through
Do the things you want to do
Do for those that do for you
To yourself be true
Inst.
V3
There are things I've never seen
and places that I've never been.
Sometimes I feel I'm in between
a long climb and a fall
Up and down's the way life goes
Up the fast lane, down the slow
Where it ends nobody knows
Like a bouncing ball
Ch.
Bounce the ball and follow through
Do the things you want to do
Do for those that do for you
To yourself be true
Ch.2
Bounce the ball into the air
Try to catch it if you dare
Jump out of that easy chair
Into the big wide blue

Quite a dark song Vic. I wanted to hear the chorus and felt it was a long walk to get there.. The mandolin sounded fine, it fitted in well with the acoustic guitar which also worked well..
I think it needs a bridge however.
Regards
John

Thanks for your input Travis.
It may sound dark in its treatment but it’s really about living life to the full before it goes.
Why do you think it needs a bridge though?

I would be reluctant to change it at the moment as local radio dj just contacted me and actually asked if they could play it after hearing it on Facebook. That must be a first for me. I always have to contact them first.

Vic

Mandolin is fine Vic as it evokes the lonley movement of time that I think the song expresses.

I like the song and think melodically the chorus is the strong point. With a slower tempo song, a song will feel longer anyway and I think uptempo songs or moderate handle the 5 minutes you are approaching. What you "may" want to consider is to slightly increase the BPM which will hasten the longer verses and also perhaps even improve chorus hook--JMO. Another option I have done myself when I wanted to shorten a song was reduce the size of the verses (ouch I know) so that your good hook gets the attention as Travis had also eluded to.

I really like the opening lines to vs 2. They capture your attention immediately--I think you might consider opening the song with those lines for that reason. The last vs opening lines sound a bit trite and I think you could find a better resolving last verse opening statement.

Just some thoughts as I think the song has room for polish and possible experimentation. I like your theme/chord progressions, room for experimentation--nice work however!

steady-eddie

Hi Vic
You can't argue with success, your radio play is great news.
Good to hear it has been picked up.
John

Hi Ed.
Thank you for your suggs.
I do already have a shorter version for radio which omits the first half of the last verse. That cuts it by about 20 seconds.
Oddly maybe though, the radio dj want's the long version.
I also already tried speeding it up by 5bpm but abandoned that idea as it sounded too bouncy.
I was trying to get the feel of Steve Earle's "Billy Austin". Not aiming at the "pop" style.

Thanks again,
Vic

Interesting mix of dark imagery and childlike whimsy. Reminds me of Hans Christian Anderson lol... Great recording and playing Vic, congrats

Thanks Japov.
I like the idea of HCA but his stories scared me as a kid.
Now I’m all grown up.
I think.

Vic

Oh you tell this story oh, so well, drawing us in with it's compelling words. You touch on where it is all headed and the compassion and sorrow in your voice is perfection, expressively and musicially. I thoroughly enjoyed this.

Thank you MFB.

Vic

VIC!!! first of all, good to see JPF back up and everyone still active.

This one is killin' me, it would be perfect for my mountain listening (music I would listen to while out in the middle of nowhere). The whole thing is perfectly done, subtle and like watching a feather slowly falling to the ground. Your vocal delivery could not be bested here, it makes the whole mood. I love the mandolin, heck with any guitar.

Well done.

Hi Mac.
Long time no hear.
Thank you for the encouragement.

Vic