JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 Give Her Away

hey gang... haven't written much lately.. a lot going on. see what you think of this one. it's a different structure than i normally use, not sure if i pulled it off. i'm heading out to nashville tomorrow to rub some elbows and network at the tin pan alley songwriter's symposium. first one i've ever been to so it should be fun!! thanks!! scotty

www.soundclick.com/pro/?bandid=34439

Give Her Away

She never played with your normal toys
She could outrun most of the boys
And if she didn’t it sure enough made her mad
Right at home way up in a tree
Down at the creek fishing with me
Made me forget all about the son I never had

(Chorus)
She had blue eyes and crooked teeth
Blond pigtails and knobby knees
She’d laugh cause I liked to say
I’m gonna find me a girl and give her away

Next thing I knew she was wearing a dress
Outran the boys a whole lot less
And suddenly a school dance became fun
Then one day down at the creek
She said there’s someone I want you to meet
I guess deep inside I knew this day would come

(Chorus)
She has blue eyes, a beautiful smile
Long blond hair, my only child
So happy, what could I say
When she asked Dad, would I give her away

(Bridge)
I wasn’t ready to let her go
Till she said Dad, I want you to know
I never thought this could come true
But in a lot of ways he’s just, like you

(Final Chorus)
Look at those blue eyes and how they smile
As we make our way down the aisle
Guess he can borrow her starting today
But I’ll never… give her away
Yeah, he can borrow her starting today
But I’ll never…. give her away

© 2005 richard scott

[This message has been edited by bayoufantasy2 (edited 04-05-2005).]

Hi Richard,

Didn't realize you knew my Dad and me this well, that you could write a song about us. This brought a big catch in my throat cause my Dad's been gone many years now...but I will never forget what he said to me just before he walked me down that aisle. It was pretty close to what you have here.

I did see some places where there seems to be some superfluous words.
She never played with GIRLIE toys
She could outrun ALMOST ANY boy
And WHEN she didn’t it sure (enough/delete) made her mad
Right at home CLIMBIN ANY tree
Down at the creek fishing BASS with me
Made me forget (all/delete) about the son I never had

There is something about this line that bugs me but I am not sure what it is.
When she asked Dad, would I give her away
I think it would be smoother if you'd just say
When she asked ME if I'd give her away

Other than that...this is wunnerful!

Bobbie



[This message has been edited by Bobbie Gallup (edited 04-05-2005).]

bobbie... glad this one meant something to you. guess you can tell it's about my daughter huh? some great suggestions and i incorporated them into this rewrite.. see if this one sounds better... scotty

Give Her Away

She never cared for little girl toys
She could outrun almost any boy
And if she didn’t it sure would make her mad
Right at home climbing any tree
Down at the creek, bass fishing with me
Made me forget about the son I never had

(Chorus)
She had blue eyes and crooked teeth
Blond pigtails and knobby knees
She’d laugh cause I liked to say
If I could find me a girl I’d give her away

Next thing I knew she was wearing a dress
Outrunnin’ the boys less and less
And suddenly a school dance became fun
Then one day down at the creek
She said there’s someone I want you to meet
I guess deep down inside I knew this day would come

(Chorus)
She has blue eyes and a beautiful smile
Long blond hair, my only child
So happy, what could I say
When she asked me, would I still give her away

(Bridge)
I wasn’t ready to let her go
Till she said Dad, I want you to know
I never thought all this could come true
But in a lot of ways he’s just like you

(Final Chorus)
Look at those blue eyes and how they smile
As we make our way down the aisle
Guess he can borrow her starting today
But I’ll never… give her away
Yeah, he can borrow her starting today
But I could never…. give her away


[This message has been edited by bayoufantasy2 (edited 04-05-2005).]

Awww, Scotty..This'n's Cute-as-a-Button!

KNOW if I'da had A Daughter, insteada those 2 Sons, this'd be REAL True!

"KUDOS" Amigo---the Sentiment's fer sure a Father's Own here!

Good Luck with this Good'n', Amigo!
Big GUY-Hug,
Stan

stan and wird... thanks for the read and the comments!! scotty

This one's going to be a nice one, Scotty. I'm having a hard time following the last lines in the chorus. They need to be clearer. I realize what you're trying to say, but it's not coming out right. At least for me. Hope that helps some. Just needs a tiny bit o'polish. P.S. Aren't you just loving this weather?

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"Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you will land among the stars." -- Les Brown
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