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I am not a singer, just trying to get the idea across....I am not a musician so jumping in is not easy for me....BUT I like the music...so whats a girl to do but try....

Down Easy
2008 starter

your tears are in the rearview mirror
as I pull away

I want you
I need you
but I've got to go
find my way

so Let me
oh baby let me
let me
let you
Down Easy

so let me
oh let me
oh let me
let you
Down Easy

Let me let you
let me let you
Down Easy




http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6339912

Great Mike, You've got me right where I wanted me. I know I look like an old fart but I've got daughters who made me listen to Wheezer and Green Day and yes Disney Radio.

I'm not a very good singer, but you got the idea.And I'd prefer just to outline it and have the singer and producer perfect it and add their cool stuff. I didn't base this on any particular song but to the music you provided. I'm pretty used to writing this way - think of a hook - musical hook or lyrical hook and then write a chorus then develop a story with the verses. I like to think I'm very good at writing to meter and coming up with unique ideas. I agree with your idea on 'goodbye' - you have to prove or support your lyrics and sometimes (Phil Swann's Rule) you have to give up a great line for the right line. I'm usually pretty quick to come up with a usable line, it helps to have an editor though. So a possible last line might be "Wish that I could stop these feelings but I don't want to say goodbye" That might be a better line? Like I need to come up for air but I dont want to.

Think I'd prefer to hear the music to the verses before attempting to write those lyrics.

Pete

okay Mikey ....here's my spin

rough, yes !

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6338972


Maybe you'll see me at last
Realizing I am the best
Take off those dark glasses
See me with new eyes, yeahhhh

'cause I am waiting for you

and I will be there
I will be there
I will be there
I will be there
Waiting for you

HiAgain, Sub!

SO..Amigo...What Concept for the Verses wouldya like, Amigo! (I hadda make up the Verse Head-Melody, of course...& Chorus is (Alas) SO-Wordy, I instinctivly feel The Need for REAL Short Verse-Lines.

"Day-to-Day Drudgery" SEEMED to be a Realistic "Springboard" for the Inspirational Chorus there, which certainly Fed Offa your Fine Chorus Melody.

IF ya feed us a VERSE Melody..(& a maybe Hint of what's desired IN those Verses)..I'll betcha I can Nail This Sucker..heh-heh!

Thanks Again for a Fun Challenge, Amigo!

Best Wishes/Big Guy-Hug,
Ol' Stan

Hi Jim, sorry fo the delay...

Yes I posted it on the lyric boards to try to share it there as well, wanted to give some of the lyricist a crack. I would post responses here. 40 to 2

What you have here although well written is completely wrong for the song.
Almost as opposite as you can go

feel free to try other things if you like.....

Thanks!

Hi Rob

The pre-chous isn't awhat it needs to be but the chorus stuff wasn't bad.
I like "I'm washed out"

It would be better if it fell into a pttern like this

Hear me I'm calling
I'm washed out I've falling
Tear down this corner
------- -----

Nice work!

Hi Kathy

First off I love that thin sound... it's like it's all coming through an old AM Radio
Then you have the little announcent "sustudio rock contest" at the top made me smile...:)

Your phrasing meter for the chorus were VERY good

I felt it right away... later on the "let me" let yous" lets me" got to be a tad too much it would need to be broken up.

Now here's a funny story.. when i was writing my song "Closer" ya know the one in the movie. I fisrt was singing

Your all I want
your all I need
To be closer to me

Then I was telling ,my friend "Ya know I have to get away from using I want, I need
as it is so over used and typical" we had a big discussion on it.
Then of course I turn on the TV and there's a band singing All I Want All I Need

But is a great way to start oot with that simple meter in the chorus, that's why so many ROCK bands use it. It sldes right by you melody wise.

Kathy what you do have here is a good chorus foundation. I believe you just tied
3 others for first place as of now...

Also what you do have here that I absolutley LOVE is the title.
"Down Easy"

If you could work that thought into your chorus more, that would be killer.
Whats so darn hard is we have such a little space to get the point across unlike other styles of songs were you have forever to tell a story. This as to be short, effective,unique or slightly unique and CATCHY!!!

I may change your name to Catchy Kathy.

Also if it's cool with you, as of this point personally I want to use your title idea.

And you know what in modern rock songs sometimes the title is not even mentioned in the song lol... but I think this one can be.

*To the others try to keep coming up with our own ideas.. in other words don't work off each others drafts, We will do that in another post interactive type thing later.


Kathy Thankyou!!!

Post deleted by Derek Hines

Ok..lets see if this fits better

(chorus)
Flash of light---9-10 secs in
Heavy with fear---11---12 secs mark
The thunder pounding---14--15 secs mark
Allll aaaaround -----16---18 secs mark
Nowwww the ground's burned ---18 secs
And turned brown---21---23 secs

Repeat the chorus because your loop kept going on...

Tag where you have it go dunt dunt dunt starts at...53 secs

In a spark---53 secs
I lost my heart
Ohhh on a hill
In a flaaash... of light


Yeah thats it!...having fun ...
good luck!!

Go for it! The thin sound is because of the way I recorded it...on a cassette tape and then had a mic to it as I played back.....LOL...it was late and I was tired....I also subscribe to the addage of less is more in the beginning....you get to hear your own personal twist in it.... I have a very loud voice and I sing very off key the louder I get so I keep trying to sing hushed.....

Thank you for the comments. I feel good!

* okay I added a longer version 2 verses and end tag pieces as well as the full ending chorus... I also posted this link at the bottom of the first post here on this thread.

Untitled Rock Song 3:00 longer version with verses
http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6339300

Here is the sections time lay out

0:01 - 0:04 coming out of the chorus
0:06 - 0:13 intro repeat and main riff
0:14 - 0:31 Verse starts lyrically
0:31 - 0:48 Pre-chorus
0:49 - 1:23 Full Chorus
1:23 - 1:32 chorus tag/like ending tag (just another catchy part)

Then the whole process repeats again like above untill the end.....

Look forward to hearing yours, Kathy! I'm at work, and Pete's hook won't get out of my head. Very cool and alternative, Pete!

It's going to be hard not to be influenced by each other...

Now see that has a whole nother feel which starts something completely new in my head....oooooo....I love rock music....
Will work with Down easy though...

Yeah the influence part is hard

Hi Derek

Yes I missed this one, this is harder to keep up with then I thought.. Good!

"Dragon Pose" another intersting different lyric....

Your pre- chorus is to close to your chorus and the tag is still awkward,
But the chorus is still good... The idea of the darker lyrics are cool but they are not quite hitting it... why? I think because your trying to paint a goth picture instead
of being Goth lol... In other words it's slightly forced. "Ready to unleash my flame"
I think that sometimes has to do with the "angle" of a song. Meaning where's it coming from? ya know the story angle - he- she I - you - me....

I still like your opening line and melody best of everything so far....

* here was my original opening verse line lyric for this.

"You carved your name through my heart like an autograph"

What did he just say? lol...

Post deleted by Derek Hines

It must be nice to have a job.. I miss those days! Well not really it's just everything we are not doing seems better. An the good old days are mostly good in retrospect lol..

No about influencing each other aside from the enthusiasm the actual recordings? hmmm!

Well I have to think about that, I thought up to a 3 way collab on the final was a good limit however if it need be maybe 4. In other words if by some chanece we wound up using parts of a few people's ideas.... we'll see how it plays out.
I'm an expert on stuff like that, I've been collaborating with band mates since I started my band at 9 years old. I know the deal....

Thank you Derek

I'm actually slightly inspiring myself, I do that best when I work with others sometimes even if were just talking about a song.

I'm feeling this: opening verse

You carved your name on my heart like an autograph
I put your name on my arm but the ink fades fast
Or And you put my name on your skin but the ink fades fast

Something like that anyway, maybe tweeking the angle a bit.. the who's and whats but those images, thoughts and feelings.
All kinda leading up to Kathy's "Down Easy" I did all this and your gonna punish me. Let me down easy.....

Feel free to work with anything I throw up there if you like.

Thanks everyone! Hurry home from work all of you....

Hey Derek we both thought of skin at the same time lol....

Okay I have to call doctors now I can't sit and write this song all day LOL.....

Hi Joice

Almost missed this post. Your opening melody is similar to my original idea as well.
A few of us have picked up on that chord move and incorporated into the melody.

I liked all your chorus line melodies.. the high note on best was cool
I really loved the last "waiting for you" in the chorus melody.

The way you dropped down on that... maybe it should start the chorus with that melody, and climb.. very effective.

For this vibe your melody and phrasings have it over the lyric content as of now.

I liked your drive on the end tag section as well. but I'm thinking a whole line instead of of a repeated phrase,, the same few words over & over again.

A few of us have done that now and I'm thinking since the whole band is doing that musically the vocalsit could flow a little in that section to be slightly opposite.

Great work Joice really! you surprised me in this genre as well.....

Post deleted by Derek Hines

What I was thinking was one of these people got the others name tatooted on there body, now there's a problem..... hence
"signed my name on your arm but the ink fades fast"

Post deleted by Derek Hines

Okay

I made a playlist in my I-Tunes of all the submissions. Now I can hear them instantly all in a row what a blast. Only Kathy I wasn't able to download yours.
I want to eventually post them all in a row on My Soundclick page.

As I listened straight through again I wanted to spit aout a few quick thoughts

Mark - That long holding notes were pretty cool at the end. Your slurrying/dipping style note on "stay" was effective had a coll " Cheap Trick" kinda vibe

Derek - Your voice in the pre-chorus especially is the cooliest voice sound fro the song so far. How Ironic after all those threads of picking on your vocals a bit and how they hurt the presenatation of your songs... remember? Oh yeah that's right
we don't pay much attention to you around here... BIG LOL and

How Ironic is all that lol....

Bob- Too sparse not enough meat on the hook but I'm thinking of throwing the whole contest in your favor cause I like you so much lol.... yes a fix!

Kevin E my main man Your song you posted you sang and had vocal chops & groove all the way... on this song it's like a completely different dude did it... Jeckle & Hyde effect lol... really still I appreciate it greatly bro!


Pete - The timing thing feels like most of what your doing is behind the beat to the point where it sounds late, Did you use a heavy echo effect when you did this?
The delay is too slow.... GREAT job on much of this melody..

Joice - I still love those dropped notes. Did I mention your voice is getting better & stronger... Still have to work your control some and pitch, but both have improved greatly in the time I've known you and your work.

That tattoo of you came much too fast
I'll need a beltsander to tear your face off my ass

Hi Stan

Hurt, slightly angry maybe searching, a little desperation.....

I put up an extended version and some verse lyric idea.... to play off of.

Yes very short verses two lines actually....

Sub,

I changed my soundclick you should be able to download....

Post deleted by Derek Hines

Well, I worked on it, so I’ll post my ideas, but...It’s a good challenge for me ~ definitely working backwards here...I find it difficult to write a prechorus before I know what the verses say! (I see you now have ideas)...I read a few of your posts Sub, and it seems I’ve broken the love and want “rules” as well! Oh well! Always a good learning experience!

Ya know, I’m not sure I understand the music part of it...what was I listening to if that isn't the melody? I guess I should go read and listen to everybody’s posts now and see!

You say you’re ready to leave
I find that hard to believe

Maybe I’m crazy, I don’t know (but I know what I want)
Say you don’t love me, and I’ll go (but you won’t be able to)
Your eyes can not hide how you feel (it’s not wrong when it’s right)
Your kiss tells me this is real (don’t deny us that)

I want you and
You want me so
Why put up a fight
Am I crazy

Kathy - I got it thanks! your first two phrase on the fisrt two lines are good then
it drifts out of the pocket in the third and fourth.

The down easy part is the next one that sits in there really well.

Derek - I'm so glad.. One of my objectives was to boost and jack some people up
with this.

Mark - That's too funny!

I wanted to make it so we start thinking this hard about our own song ideas melodies as much as they are for this song. I have been crusing this Mp3 board for years now and one of the biggest things I notice often is the absence of hooks. This is primarily a practice in that and an observation of a whole bunch of little stuff combined. Words fitting with music, flow and meter, Being Musical

Sometime you got to back off your better or deeper lyrical thoughts for the sake of
the melody, groove and feel.

Sometimes you have to let the music take charge and carry the weight a little.

Then you have to try to get in the most effective lyric in there as you can, also whatever your feeling, or trying to get across.

I'm actually in the process of co-writing a Novelty Like Song geared toward Country Music. It is not lyrically set for that genre but the style is and in todays market the lyrics are more wide open.

One of the problems i have writing contemporary Country is the use of so many hokey lines and thoughts. Now If I'm trying to write a serious song and I try to use the word "Cornflakes" in it I run into a problem. It could be very clever and effective but the word is Hokey and soft to me, it makes me think of well "cornflakes" lol... then i start second guessing myself and start blushing in embarrassment.

I can not get passed that so my biggest problem is in y own mind, it's against myself. SO when I was presented a song that had humour in it and was a novelty spoof kind of song it was much easier for me to come up with corny stuff.

I took this first draft and started knocking this song all over the ball park, killing it with cleverness, that will make other writers in that genre go, oh yeah, that was a good one ,another great one, another great one... It's just getting past that mental block for me..

I'm struggling of course,, writing these style songs is hard just like the other styles,
it takes cleverness, patience, research, and lots of work as well.
What's fun though is having a title or concept to work with. It make s it both easier
and harder at the same time. Much easier to think of stuff faster, but hard glueing it all together.

I have a very good understanding of what goes into any style of popular music.

SubMan....Mike....yeah can't disagree with you on your comments....

Bob- "Too sparse not enough meat on the hook but I'm thinking of throwing the whole contest in your favor cause I like you so much lol.... yes a fix!"

I wrote this little part in 5 minutes....you found me out....lol....yes 5 minutes.....took 3 takes on the vocal part....man if I'd only take my time what would happen....lol...honestly just wrote down what came to mind.....I know it's not that good.....although the words fit the music pretty well...imho....I had over 80 plays on that thing in two days....rather shocking....and it isn't in any genre....wow....

Please DON'T choose me, because you like me.....lol...I know your kidding....

I'd be glad to try to sing a version of someone's or your lyric though....this is fun for me.....that's all....I hope you choose a person more worthy and talented then me....who is really in this for the exposure.....I've gotten to damn old to have any thoughts of anything....

You're a cool dude.....it's such an honor to know you....I'm not sucking up either...lol.....I really mean those words sincerely.....thanks for doing this by the way....very cool....your pal....Bob

Here's my complete song - minus whatever else there is to do-lol Tried to incorporate your crits and suggs.

This is the longer version with 2 verses and hopefully better vocals.

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6336171

Gigantic lyrics 2008 Pete Gallatin

This aint no simple boy meets girl
This ain't the happiest place in the world
pre
And now I feel you sucking me in
Can't stop the waves from crashing again (and again)

chorus
And it's so Gigantic, Colossal, Titanic
I think my ship is going down (it's a meltdown)
It's so Gigantic, Way over Romantic
I need some air or I might drown (your pulling me down)
I want to kiss you, I want to kiss you oh oh

They super sized your need for attention
Keep coming back to my bone of contention
pre
And there you go you're sucking me in
I feel the waves crashing again (and again)

chorus
And it's so Gigantic, Colossal, Titanic
I think my ship is going down (it's a meltdown)
It's so Gigantic, Way over Romantic
I need some air or I might drown (your pulling me down)
I want to kiss you, Yes, I want to kiss you goodbye

I doodled some tonight and heres what I got....
Sub I focused more on the lyrics then the music still not quite sure of the story line so just playing with words/phrases that feel like they go together....

You carved your name on my heart like an autograph
left ink on my skin now fading fast
closed your eyes when you were with him
now your running back

Is it devil's luck
lady I've had enough
let me let me
let you DOWN EASY
??
??
Let me let me
Let you DOWN EASY
I gotta go to work tomorrow so I won't be back till the evening....Everybody have fun!!!!

Post deleted by Derek Hines

Hi Again, Bro Mike!

Title's Changed to "LIVE WITH MY LIFE"..it's an Angry Lament..& it's got more of a Male "Pat Benetar" Feel to it now.

(VERSE)
Cel..Phone...."NO One's HOME"...BUT I've KNOWN:
"NOT Alone"...(So) I Been SHOWN...You're COLD-as-STONE...

(PRE)
YOU....Lied-AWAY
DAR--kened..My Day

(CHORUS)
Now, HOW am I GOING to LIVE WITH MY LIFE?
I Need SOMETHING BETTER..To HELP Me Survive
I Still Keep THE HOPE..That Can KEEP..Love ALIVE
I'm Searching For SOMEONE..To LIVE WITH MY LIFE--

(BREAK/BRIDGE LINE)
A Big MISTAKE..But It WON'T TAKE..LONG-to-REPLACE..One LYIN' FACE

(V2)
Cold REJECTION..NO Connection..THIS Intersection..
(But) YOU Won't PHASE ME..(Or) Drive Me CRAZY.."GOOD-BYE" Baby...

(PRE)
Yeah, YOU..GOT Me DOWN
BUT I'LL..TURN...It-AROUND

(CHORUS)
& HOW am I GOING to LIVE WITH MY LIFE?
I'll FIND SOMETHING-BETTER to HELP Me SURVIVE
I WILL Keep THE HOPE..That Can KEEP..Love ALIVE
I'm Searching For SOMEONE..To LIVE WITH MY LIFE...

(TAG)
It's WORTH..THE SEARCH..To END..This HURT
And LIVE WITH MY LIFE----

Lyrics (C) 2008 by Stan Good, BMI
All Rights Reserved.

Thanks Again for the Further Challenge, Amigo! (I think "A Survivor-Song" is More-Marketable.) ;-)>

Big Guy-Hug,
Stan

I'll try and get my melody up because I would love to hear you singing it just to see how it comes off w/a deeper male vocal and your voice is so great. My voice does not fit the profile for pulling it off w/a "rockish" texture (too high and girlish). I know it may not make your list and that's fine, it's just been fun and a really good work-out for me. I do have a soundclick so I just have to see if my son can help me w/the ligistics

Mike,
didn't see this 'til last night, I have been swamped writing lately, but when I saw an opportunity to work with you on something I couldn't wait to wake thismorning and work something up. What I've done I tried to leave it a little open ended as to where the guy is, whether it's prison, war, deported, etc. so it has a wider audience base and script topics/settings that it could be used for...depending on where people are in their lives would determine how they interpret it, but personally my soul leads to to the soldiers, thus the pic I put up at soundclick for this song...my heart goes out to those guys who are over there defending our way of life...it must be hell some of the duty stints those guys have had to pull. This is great music, fun to listen to all by itself, I hope you don't mind I added a little twin part on guitar that just works it's way through the song as a sort of counter melody , keeping that cranked up rock feel to it...the vocals could certainly be better(and there are probably a couple of lyric tweaks if this happens to be the "one" that goes forward) but I think the melody is there for someone who can really nail it...whether I'm successful or not, it sure was fun playing to your tracks, if I had someone like you to work with no telling what could get done. Of course I'll work this with everyone in my network who has an appropriate pitch opp if we feel like we've got something to go forward with at some point, thanks for the chance...hope you're feeling a little better buddy...here's the link followed by the lyric...write great, be well...sorry about screwing your great mix all to hell...Moker

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6342145

Gonna Be Good

I think about your hair in the sunlight
I lie awake and think of our love all night

I wonder why life has taken me so far away
I feel the sand on my face as I wipe a single tear away

& I know that when I finally make it home
It's Gonna Be Good
when I get you in my arms, never let you go
If I can just hold on, & somehow get out of here alive
Gonna Be Good
It's all in my dreams, the reasons to survive

I'm thinking of you now,& I know you feel it too
that it's Gonna Be Good

I think about your struggles & how you're lonely
how we're forced from our one & only

I wonder why life has taken me so far away
I feel the sand on my face as I wipe a single tear away

& I know that when I finally make it home
It's Gonna Be Good
when I get you in my arms, never let you go
If I can just hold on, & somehow get out of here alive
Gonna Be Good
It's all in my dreams, the reasons to survive

I'm thinking of you now,& I know you feel it too
that it's Gonna Be Good

(C)2008 Mike Caro/Moker Jarrett

OK so you missed this earlier...thats alright...sounds like you are getting close to what you want...mp3 stuff is easier I'm sure but...



(chorus)
Flash of light---9-10 secs in
Heavy with fear---11---12 secs mark
The thunder pounding---14--15 secs mark
Allll aaaaround -----16---18 secs mark
Nowwww the ground's burned ---18 secs
And turned brown---21---23 secs

Repeat the chorus because your loop kept going on...

Tag where you have it go dunt dunt dunt starts at...53 secs

In a spark---53 secs
I lost my heart
Ohhh on a hill
In a flaaash... of light


Yeah thats it!...having fun ...
good luck!!

Hey guys,

Happy Sunday....

I was working on this a bit more today....changed it up from what I had...trying to lead it towards the takeaway..(hook)
I've been looking at the hook as the one line sentence that we want people to takeaway with them when the listener is done...It actually helps, instead of referring to the chorus as "the why".


You carved your name on my heart
like an autograph
left ink on my skin
now fading fast
said you need time and space
clearing your head
You deserve better
then what I'm givin'

No disillusion here it's two sets of expectations
No excuses with this save all the accusations

Let me, let me
let you
Down Easy
you say you love me I'll stay in touch
?
let me let me
let you
Down Easy

I'll keep changing it as i think about.....Just more thoughts....

Ha - I can't come up with lyrics fast enough to keep up with these folks

But I did hear a melody I liked. After I made a recording, I went back and listened to some of the others. It's probably most like Kevin's except the middle part is very rapid fire. Here it is with the vocal melody line picked out on organ. Thanks for moving me from the 60's to the 80's, Sub

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=6347342

Was fun....

Scott

Hey Scott,
That sounded really neat. I had a co writer put the melody line down with a flute once, so that I could hear what I needed to write to and sing to... You are the only other person I've heard do that...I wish more musicians would...cool.....

Hi Gang,

I'm back somewhat I had two rougher days heatlth wise after having a nice streak of pretty good ones. When I feel better I try to run with it a little and take advantage and try to help myself mentally. I'll get back to xrays & doc appointments hoepfully this week.

Also I had to post up my little Mouse Ruby's video. You can see and hear it on the Video Boards. She is a little cutie and I saved her from being eaten alive by a snake! one year ago.

Let me listen to some more of these fun submissions now...

I'm discussing them along the way mainly because it gives a chance to go back and do some fixes or take another shot at a different approach.
Also it's a good practice and it's a lot like collaborating.

Hi Moker,

Thanks for jumping in on this and for all the kind words.

This was the most thorough of all the submissions start to finish so far.
I LOVED the additional guitar parts, I wont steal them directly lol.. but will have to definitly being adding more lead guitar in there now for sure

You kinda fell victim to your own talents here on this one.. your guitar outshined your other contributions & melody overall. It was well put together and especially for so fast.
However the phrasing just never really locked in.. lines were either slightly too long or too short for the most part.

I feel the sand on my face as I wipe a single tear away - was too long in that spot.

& I know that when I finally make it home
It's Gonna Be Good - felt short
when I get you in my arms, never let you go
If I can just hold on, & somehow get out of here alive
Gonna Be Good
It's all in my dreams, the reasons to survive

Then it never locked into a meter or memorable hook.. The lines seem to come out of different directions, maybe too complicated. not simple enough

The lyrics were well written, but I don't think they quite fit this one right. What was impressive too was that you had this subject matter and didn't force War and soldier lyrics down our throats like many songs do. You did an EXCELLENT job of keeping it more vague and universal in my opinion.

Nice job bro & thank you.. I put this right in the playlist with the others as we keep going.

* For everyone the lyrics are important...but right now if you have a melody
and not really any lyrics do what i do.. MUMBLE and make up & sing words that sound like your saying something..but make no sense at all. That's what I do!
Do not let your lyrical thoughts ruin or limit your HOOK! No one will ever learn your great lyrics if they dont grab your melody & hooks on the first listen...

* What happened to Samuel Joe. Joe you wanted all the music now you got it

* Where is Niteshift hiding?

So it's okay if you don't have set words yet....

Rock lyrics aren't so easy are they? lol...

Hi Ted

Yes the lyric only posts are the toughest.
These lyrics are much closer...

"Now the grounds burned" these are cool lines and images, but they need something or someone to relate to. The songs music is not obscure enough in style to have really cool lyrics that a Rush or a Yes song might have.
But I can dig it!!

When i see the perfect lyric I wont have to hear a note...
keep punching thanks.....

Hi Kathy

I see you are the fisrt one to incorporate my opening lyric ideas, cool... thanks!
I do like that line I have never forgotten them without writing them down in four years....

I like the lyrical adjustments... do you have the new melody & add ons up on Soundclick?

Tripp (my wife) were discussing your submission today as well as others.
So far your lyric concepts have been the closest overall... especially since you have the Title so far for sure...

Remember how I was saying we don't want to use the
I want you
I need you...... thing?

Tripp suggested the slight change of direction:

I want to
I need to
Let you down easy
But you won't let me - etc......

Outline - being how someone is having a very hard time letting the other person go.

Something along those lines, is pretty cool.. I thought. just some ideas to fool with.

Like how I was talking about the "Ink" maybe this guy or girl tatooed your name on there arm... Very hard to break away from that person! Hmmm

Hi Scott

What a blast that was.. you made me smile

Okay - your right 60' to 80's is right on the money!

At first I was thinking of - Oh- Yo-Ko... Oh Yo-Ko

Then it got very 80's with that jumping melody chorus. I could her the voice in my head like "Alive & Kicking" lol... CAtchy though I will say that. MAybe the song shouldn't be so dark??

Kinda Nuts! I love it.....

Hi - Some notes

I'm putting all the submissions into a play list. I'm going back and listening again as well. I have a dear friend who works very closely with me musically. I will play them for him as well. He is not a musician or a songwriter. That is the best part about it.

He was the one to bring me & our band into the city back when I was a teenager to all those major label showcases. We were very very close to getting picked up by MCA. What a different path that would have been

Our band was called "Side Two" ouch! but we were young lol...
Here is a snap shot I took of the studio board up at SIR in Manhattan
I was very excited to see our band up there next to the others

My friend knows & thinks like record people A&R people. I learned alot from him.

I met Kool & The Gang that day, they were shooting hoops in the big room, they were nice guys and wished us all the luck in the world that afternoon.
Annie Lennox and the Eurthymics were there but we didn;'t get to meet them
Oh well "Sweet Dreams"

Mike,
thanks for listening and commenting...I felt a few spots that would have been rephrased by a great singer (I was kinda shooting for an eighties british pop sound) and I too felt like there are a few lyric tweaks which would need to be made...the sand on his face as he wipes a single tear away - metaphor for our guys in Afghan an Iraq -there in a desert- and though they're tough as nails, a single tear seemed appropriate when they're in such deep thought about gettin' back to their love...have to think about how to deliver that concept with less words... my vocal performance on work tapes has long been something I've struggled with, it takes me alot of takes to get something ready to be of master quality so something with a couple takes really reveals my weaknesses...ha...probably the biggest disappointment of my life...we've got a trip planned here in a week or so, and I've got a music stand full of co-writes, so I don't know if I'll be able to take another stab at this or not...my gut tells me you are going to end up co-writing melody and lyric with whoever gets the green light on this anyway, you are too invested and talented not too...good luck and thanks again for the opportunity...hope your health takes a turn for the better...Moker

P.S.- I have a friend who is also a producer I've worked with on a couple songs- the name of your band reminded me of his group now- they are Contemporary Christian and tour nationally- he had a song that charted well last year "Miracle"- anyway the name of their group is STORY SIDE B ...my friend is Lou Rubino, he's lead singer ,guitar, and writer a very talented guy- here's a link if ya wanna have a listen, I think you'll dig it http://www.storysideb.com/

Good Morning Mike,

Here's my contribution. Lyrics only.


Title: Destiny Is Calling
Lyrics by Nathan A. Baker
(c)2008 All Rights Reserved

Verse 1
Bright skies new horizons
Scanning a sea of blue
Yearning in my spirit
Seeking after truth
Scared to set anchor
But nearing the shore

Verse 2
Destiny is calling
My world is expanding
It's calling for more.
Crying in wash and roar
It's calling me places
Never known before.

Pre Chorus
Destiny is calling... it's calling me
Destiny is calling... it's calling me

Chorus
It's calling... It's calling...
It's calling for more.
It's calling... It's calling...
It's calling for more.

Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock!
Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock!
Knock! Knock! Knock! Knock!
Knock! Knock...

Tag
Open the Door!


***
peace,
nathan

Post deleted by Derek Hines