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I probably shouldn't post this yet, because I'm still adding more to it...but there's enough there now for show and tell and critique. But keep in mind there will be a few more instruments and effects added, and then a proper mix, so it will be evolving for several days. It's a song I wrote way back when...I was in my 20's, and I used to call it "After the Winds" and always played it live as a solo, just me and an acoustic guitar. But this version is closer to the way I pictured it.

Buckle up! :o :o

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=759055&songID=6474608

Eldorado

I'm getting sick of these angry winds
They're blowing 'round the empty factory
Where Daddy used to work before the winds arrived
But that must have been at least a year ago
I'm telling you things have changed a lot since then

I think you must've seen me on the street
I move from town to town
I'll drive until I find a place that doesn't make me shake from fear
'Cause I walk through the buildings and look at the highways
I look at the cars that never move

Eldorado bring me faster, bring me freedom
When the loneliness cuts into me like fire

She and I are dreaming up a fantasy
She and I are howling at the moon
Eldorado flies beyond the darkest sea
I believe we'll be there very soon

This morning when I found you I nearly screamed
I was a bit surprised
I'd never seen another living person since the winds arrived
But Beauty you're looking mighty strangely
I guess I'm looking pretty crazy too

Eldorado bring us faster, bring us freedom
When the loneliness cuts into us like fire

She and I are dreaming up a fantasy
She and I are howling at the moon
Eldorado flies beyond the darkest sea
I believe we'll be there very soon
Everybody's dreaming up a fantasy
Everybody's howling at the moon
Eldorado flies beyond the darkest dream
And I believe we'll all be there real soon

(Copyright 2008 by Mark Kaufman)

Loved it. Felt the vocals were just a bit lost in the mix. Give em a boost and it is done.

Runs a pizza joint?

Thanks, Big Jim. I'll definitely bump the chorus vocals. But it's not done yet! There are some cool touches yet to come, one involving an autoharp. I think I'm entering my Sgt. Pepper period. It's this unlimited tracks thing...makes you want to check out the boundaries.

Mixing this properly is going to be a bear...there must be about 30 tracks so far.

This is pretty cool. It reminds me a bit of Meatloaf but with a little Willburys and Beatles thrown in the hopper too, like some nuevo classic rock tune. I think Eldorado is a better title for this. I was trying to piece all these metaphors together: the changing winds, the end of the world, the lost city legend.. Or are we just speeding along in a Cadillac Eldorado, cruising past all this and taking in the view? Hmmm...

Well either way, it sounds good!

Pretty soon you're gonna have to do an album on CD baby.

Mark,

makes me want to take a hacksaw to my honda just so I can listen to this with the top down. really great.

trying to find something to suggest...can't

..ant

solid tune. I agree bring the vox up a little. Loved the harmonies. Layered guitars sound great. Was that a Help Me Rhonda I heard? A little Beach Boys tribute there?

Mark,

You have definitely just completely cranked it up a notch (OK a few notches). The vocal editing stuff you are doing these days is nothing short of amazing. Your production "vision" is great and I am really enjoying everything you are doing in this new "Sgt. Pepper's/Pet Sounds" phase. Can I be your friend and ride your coattails to where ever those coattails go to?

A couple of comments:

1.) There just doesn't seem to be any bottom in the whole mix. It would be interesting to see it in a eq map to see what the lower eq is doing relative to the mids/highs. I am using headphones, so that could be slanting my perception.

2.) There is a big (medium?) volume drop out at 1:50 that also increases (decreases?) at 1:57. Lost a lot of momentum there.

3.)Help me Rhonda: that was a hoot.

Well, there is a party in the neighborhood right now -- gotta sign out.

Kevin

Thanks Wendy. CD Baby, huh? Maybe one of these days...still working on learning and improving production.

The story as I envisioned it would make a very bizarre video. The "winds" is a metaphor for some sort of end-of-the-world holocaust...nuclear, biological, whatever...and our main character has been the only living person moving about in this wasteland, in his Cadillac Eldorado, for about a year. He stumbles upon "Rhonda"...and she's looking worse for the wear, enough for a near-scream, maybe...but now they are two, and they roar off together into the post-apocalyptic sunset.

Thanks for the fun comparisons! -Mark

Thanks ant! Don't hurt your Honda!

Back when I wrote it, I pictured "Beauty" as being named Rhonda...and I pictured her as quite the nasty little mutation, but with a nice wig and badly applied lipstick. So yeah, the help me Rhonda bit was irresistible. I used to sing it solo with a weird lower voice on that part, just to creep people out. But this time...

Thanks Dazed!

Thanks Kevin! Appreciate the notes on mix...right now it really isn't mixed other than for a quick listen...so I'll definitely add some bottom...the bass will growl...but it's going to be a mindbender for me to juggle all these different parts, all in need of different EQ and levels and effects. But soon!

I don't HAVE any coattails...but you really wouldn't want to ride with Rhonda anyway. Trust me.

Mark: So much good stuff going on in this. This is seems a perfect meld of lyrics and melody. God I love it. Just picks me up and gets my heart beating faster. Think this makes me think of the best Beach Boys harmony and the chord changes are golden. I know this is weird but Iit makes me feel like the way I felt when I heard Good Vibrations for the first time. I didn't know exactly why I liked it but I did. It sounds so familiar but strangely rich and exciting brand new like nothing I have ever heard before. I do rattle on don't I . Goin to sleep.

Wow....Paul

Don't go to sleep! Keep complimenting me!

Just kidding. Sort of... I mean, next time I get into a spat with my spouse, I'm tempted to show her what you think. That would go over well, wouldn't it?

Means a lot to me Paul, thanks. This one goes way back, has a lot of history for me...I've performed it live at least a hundred times, mostly at parties. People still ask me if I'll play them that end of the world one. Take Care, -Mark

Mark,

Added this one to my soundclick station.

Wayne

Mark,

WOW! This is so freaking good. The vocal is just ouststanding...should be brought forward just a tiny bit. And man...the production on this is just super. You are an amazing talent.

I was just sitting here listening, think "Wow, the Beach Boys could have taken this to the top of the charts for about 12 or 15 weeks...and then I heard the "Help me Rhonda" line! So, I guess you got this to come across exactly as you had intended. It sure sounded like Beach Boys to me from ther begininng. Also, great chord pattern!

I loved it!

Al

Mark,

Being a new guy around here I'm learing who the "big hitters" are as far as writers and such. You seem to be in a league of your own! (How's that for an ambiguous compliment? Lol!) I truly mean that you have my respect. I come simply as a fan of great music and the chance to "hang out" with other writers who share an unapologetic passion for writing and creating is such a priviledge. Along with that is the recognition that some are men and women I'd gladly learn from. You are in that category. I truly enjoyed the be-jesus outta this song. Don't laugh, but I almost heard a Springsteen "Born to Run" thing in there a few times.

Kiss your Muse, she was good to you on this one.

Regards,
Terrill

Hi Mark,

Real cool man.
Loved it all.
Looking forward to loving it again the next time.
Thanks for sharing.

Calvin


http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/calvinstewart

Hi Mark,
This is absolutely your finest song ever. The whole package embraces you the minute the music begins to blow. I truly enjoyed the ride down YOUR freeway... or is this 94? LOL
Take care my friend and keep writing....
BOB

Very cool Lyle!

Man, you must be like a kid in a candy store with your new technology!

Lots of so cool little touches in here!

Enjoyed the hell out of the song, too - The Stand is one of my favorite books and this had the exact same vibe.

Just a fabulous piece of work!

Oh - would you mind if I used "Hey, play that end of the world song" as a line in a lyric sometime?

Scott

Hi there

It's like the sort of the song I imagine playing in my head whilst driving along an empty highway with the top down - very free and well written and played.

Dan

That was a cool production,a little beach boys and sgt pepper.Id say a little more bass.

Good morning Mark

Wow, Yipee, you just topped the charts, absolutely love it, I wish I could turn my sound up, I would love to here this pumping this morning.

Come on Mark, get it finished properly, get your act together hah. BRING IT ON!

This Aussie girl here says ITS A HIT!

Michele
Aussie fan

Woot! Thanks, Wayne. -mk

Now that's humbling...thanks Al. I'm really glad you like this.

I actually wasn't thinking Beach Boys while writing or recording this...but way back when, at one live gig I suddenly tossed in that line "Help me Rhonda" and it got a big laugh...just seemed so incongruous. But now I guess I do hear some similarities to the more rocking Beach Boys tunes. One of my favorite songs in the world is one of their less-played hits, "Do It Again"...and also "How Deep Is The Ocean". I guess I did listen to a lot of Beach Boys.

Fun to think about, and amazing to get such a nice response. Thanks again, Al!

-Mark

Hey, Born to Run WAS a bit on my mind, just because it's a highway song with love and an engine...only no end of the world.

Big hitter? No, I'm really not so interested in reefer anymore... But I do really appreciate your appreciation. It's weird for me...some songs hit really well, others flop...but ALL of them are the obscure recordings of a guy, you know...just a guy. I am maybe more aware of what DOESN'T work with my stuff...it's stuck in time, rooted in the 70's and 60's. Other songwriters appreciate them, but the public at large is into other things. I know plenty about writing songs, but not so much about what sells.

Still, I plan on giving it a shot. Right now I'm learning as much as I can about production, learning more about lyrics and structure, seeing what others here have learned, collaborating here and there. This place is a haven for learning the craft, and the business. We all learn a lot here. But heavy I am not...dude, I'm maybe 170, and I'm six feet tall.

Very nice to meet you Terrill, and thanks for the kind words. -Mark

Short and sweet
Words and lyrics
Calvin's tunes
Give me hysteerics

Thanks Calvin! -Mark

Hey Champlin! Thanks for the good word!

...but I don't know if this is the kind of ride anyone would enjoy!!

Anytime, Scott!

Now, you've hit one of the true influences for this idea, "The Stand". I was thinking about that and a bunch of other post-apocalypse stories, like Steely Dan's "King of the World" and Talking Heads' "Flowers"...Harlan Ellison's "A Boy and his Dog"...just wanted to write something in a more fictional environment. Anyway, glad you liked it, and yes, I am eating lots of candy.

I took people's advice and posted a different mix with more bass and vocals bumped on the chorus...but I have another round of recordings to do on this one, then try to mix it down right.

Thanks Dan, that was the idea! Only with a lot of weirdness attached to the whole feeling. Appreciate your listen and comments. -Mark

Hi Mark

Well I love the intro riff. Pulls me right in. Yeah I can hang with the folks who can hear the Beach Boys.....very entertaining and interesting turns. Looking forward to the new mix. Definitely let the piano part come out in a few places, well as with each instrument.... You have an impressive mind to have all this going on and at such a driving tempo. I enjoyed the spin !. jm

Thanks Michael, I took your advice and boosted the bass on the bass! Still needs a lot of mixing though...

Thanks again! -Mark

Hey Mark - I loved it too. I sort of heard Tom Petty and the Heart breakers doing this.

A couple suggestions:
The one thing that didn't go over with me (and I guess it's just me because nobody else noticed it) The very last verse, there's an odd toned guitar that comes in playing after each line of the lyric is sung. It drew me away from the words and the harmonies and as expected, heard a different riff each time with the weird tone guitar. I'd do a post mix - the part was good, but push that tone into overdrive and make it sound like you've got the pedal to the metal. Give it some distortion man, lower it in the mix, and tease my ears with it. Don't overpower the vocal.

2nd suggestion - you got me with "help me Rhonda" line just like you got everyone else. We get it the first time you sing it - the harmonies are spot on. How about instead of singing the same line twice (exactly like the Beach Boys) add something to it to make it become your own - like this (sung exactly the same, different words):
Help me Rhonda
Drive past the Honda

Take it or leave it - it's a subtle twist, it'll still sound just like the beach boys, but you now add creativity to the line and make it your own.

Lyle:

1. Awesome intro. I like the way it gathers momentum.
2. Melody of the third line of the verse is partcularly strong.
3. "Eldorado bring me faster, bring me freedom, When the loneliness cuts into me like fire" is the killer part of the song but it is over WAY too soon.
4. Overall, this is a unique, wild creative ride.

I was surprised that you didn't really feature the "Eldorado bring me faster, bring me freedom..." lines by repeating that melody and turning it into a full fledged chorus. I think that's a great hook.

Loved it.

Mark

Michele, you are always such a bundle of enthusiasm and encouragement. Thanks Aussie Girl! I will!

Thanks so much, Joice. And I love the new avatar--very hip!

Thank you,

-Mark

Hi Tom!

Great food for thought. That odd toned guitar is a bass that had way too much treble...I brought out the bass in it now and it has more of that Chris Squire thing going on...maybe even needs some flange there. Seems to work better for me, but I hope you'll let me know if you still find it detracts. Great call.

I'm still thinking about the "Help Me Rhonda" thing...I don't know, it flies by pretty quick for most listeners. Some of the people I talk to don't really realize that happened until after...one guy said, "did you really just go there...?" But I'm still thinkin'...

Really appreciate this sort of eagle-eyed critique. Thanks, Tom! -Mark

Hey Lyle:

Listened again this morning. Love the boost to the bass line!

In a couple of places (when more instruments show up) I think the vocal needs boosted a little.

Man, this is cool

Scott

After I posted, I looked at your instrument collection, and saw you had a Rick. So then I realized that this was probably the bass track.
I think that's why Chris Squire uses the Electroharmonix Big Muff (several) often.
That's what I'd do at this point, but mix it down like I pointed out.

Mixing drives me crazy. Headphones say one thing. My cheap computer monitor speakers say another. My car stereo says yet another (probably the definitive mix to pay attention to).

The engineering and production gurus on TAXI and Gearslutz speak, and I lurk and listen...I understand that what I really need is a set of serious mixing monitors.

But even then, it might not translate as well to other speakers, like the car or the boombox or the iPod earphones...

Well, this one is getting closer, but I still want a couple more instrumental touches, autoharp and a couple random sound effects...anyone have a nice werewolf howl?

Lyle, digital recording has presented you with some new juice and is helping an artist to emerge, that has really been there all along...I do not use the term "artist" lightly....you are coming into your own bro...very nice work...go with your gut... Moker

Mark Just to throw another comparison in the melting pot. 10cc. I was listening to some of their early album stuff and I thought of your song. The harmonies and arrangement is very 10cc ish with a bit of Beach Boys thrown in.
BTW I played my song Waltz Made for two to a pal and he said it reminded him of Paul Macartneys Mull of Kintyre with a bit of Squeezes Labelled With Love thrown in. I have to agree but it was completely unintentional.

Hi Mark!

Your post really made me think! You're right--the lift is more exciting than the chorus...the lift accelerates, while the chorus settles into a groove. So I added some EQ to the chorus and adjusted some volumes...but I'm still mulling over the best way to make it sustain the same energy.

Thanks you for the very helpful input! I'm still adding bits and pieces...

-Mark

Your second listen is music to my ears. Thanks again for helping...I adjusted volumes yet again. -Mark

There's one in St. Paul for $30... Maybe I will. Thanks again, Tom! I did bring more bass into it, but it's still a bit heavy in the mix...for now. Your words stay with me though, and I'm grateful. Thanks! -Mark

Well, now my hair is all tangled up.....but that was fun...very interesting. That word often says nothing, but what I mean is that I never knew what was going to come next..it was fun to sit back and take it in, both musically and lyrically. Lots going on.

I would think it would appeal to people's desire to reach a positive place with the special people in their lives.

Like the ending too...very uplifting.

Kristi

Ya know, I try to tell my wife "I'm an artist"...but I STILL have to do the dishes!

Thanks Moker!

I need to rediscover 10cc...their early stuff was great. Thanks Jim!

Kristi I am SO SORRY!!! Thanks for the listen and comments.

Well, I think I just might have the real mix up there now, complete with werewolves and wind. It really helped to hear all your comments, and they were ALL on my mind this morning while I mixed it for about five hours. Please let me know if you hear anything that needs a tweak, otherwise I'm going to call this the best I can do for now.

Thanks again to all, -Mark