JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback MP3 Feedback Forum my first song post,just another guy

okay here is my first song im throwing out for critique.i hope i dont screw up the linking,bare with me folks.



Just Another guy

VI there was a time when all i did
was think about you
everywhere i went i saw things
we used to do

aint it funny how passing time
can make an old love slip your mind
aint it strange how things so certain
can change

Ch its easy to forget someone
you never thought you would
all it takes is someone new
and doing things you never thought you could
i know that im supposed to miss you
and im supposed to cry
but why... your just another guy

VIIevery now and then i get
a little guilty
knowing what i did was so wrong
oh so wrong
but life is short and theres no time to waste
on feeling that way now
and i swore id never walk out that door

Repeat chorus

bridge your just another guy i know
nobody special and thats for sure
you wont see me cry a tear
im really kind of glad that your not hear

repeat chorus www.soundclick.com/sherrystanford

yeah,i screwed up the link.what did i do wrong?

Sherry,
I posted the link for you. Not sure why it didn't work for you. Welcome aboard. I really enjoyed this song. Is that you singing? Very nice vocals. I also liked the melody to this. It flows well. Great job.

charles,hi thank you for correcting the link.yes thats me singing.thanks for the listen and your nice comments,i appreciate it

Hi Sherry,

Your voice reminds me a little of Anne Murray, very pretty. Ah, the upper range is very cool, a little Kim Carnes-y rasp in there! More of that next song!!! Don't blow your voice out, though

This is an alright song, for such a sparse arrangement, I hear one overdub, and it's brilliant: doubling the vocal's chorus melody with an electric guitar, is it? it's barely audible, it's a nice touch, I think it could be louder--and then why is it not there in later choruses?

Okay I've heard the song three times, and I think it's really good...

Welcome aboard,
Mike

Sherry,

Welcome to the JPF. Nice song and Mike's right about the guitar during the chorus -- keep that going. Good solid tune and nice singing. The song "stuttered" at the very beginning. I don't know if it is just soundclick, but I listened to the beginning a few times and did it every time.

Kevin

The song played fine for me on Soundclick.

A well-written song with a good melody. Your voice and treatment are very good but I was hearing this with a full production and I think that would bring out the best in the song.

You might want to check your spelling if you decide to pitch the lyrics.

Good job.

Hello Sherry,

I liked this song even more when I heard the music...didn't know if it'd work, just reading the lyrics...but it does. Very nice clear vocal tone....love your voice. I also hear a little Anne Murray there, not just in the vocals, but in the melody as well...and she did alright for herself.

I'm anxious to hear more from you...fellow country writer. Pm me and tell me more about yourself...where are you from..etc.

Good luck with this one. It think it would do very well on full production.

Jan

Hi Michael,

thank you for listening and commenting.The rasp comes from too many years of smoking.I try to be carefull,just cant give it up yet.Yes the overdub is electric guitar,The songs on soundclick are the recordings i did for copyright,so i hope to do better production on the ones that are worthy.Thanks again for listening and the welcome.....sherry

Kevin,Hi and thanks for listening,i appreciate your nice comments.Sometimes when the song plays you get a big pop sound or something and sometimes you dont,not sure whsts up with that.Anyway thanks again....Sherry

Colin,Hi and thank you for listening and commenting.I hope to get a better and full production done sometime soon.Yeah i know my typing needs a lot of improvement i agree if i was sending this out to pitch it would be important for all ducks to be in a row,thank you for pointing that out because it is important.Thanks again....Sherry

Janice, thank you for listening and the nice comments.I am reviewing my songs right now to decide which ones are worthy of better production,sounds like this may be in the running.thanks again,I will try to pm you,take care and thanks...sherry

okay folks how do i pm someone on here?

Sherry I enjoyed my listen(s) on Friday too!!..nice to meet you.....

To send pm... the easiest way is clicking on the person's name

Like If I were pm ing you..I'd click on your underlined linked name..on your post.. and it will say (Send A PM) just click....
on that and then just follow through...and screen will come up.

To find and read your pm's ...it will be up at the top of the JPF screens
MY STUFF (the dark blue/purplish trim at the top)... Highlight that...and you'll see MY MESSAGES.....Pm's are there

best to you..
Kaley

Kaley,Hi. thanks for the listens,glad you enjoyed the song.Also thanks for the helpful info,appreciate it.....Sherry

The music works well with the lyrics - they compliment each other and work well with the development of the song.

Nice.

Tom

Sherry:

I enjoyed the song and the performance. Very well done. Welcome to JPF.

Mark

Givin' a listen.....Sweet vocals, I'd like to hear a full production...

Been there.......a couple times, I think....

hey.Tom,Mark and Sam thanks for listening,glad you all liked the song

Sherry,
I have mentioned to another member that you can have all the songcraft in the world but if you don't have a feel for how to put melodies and words togther the magic does not happen.

And girfriend the magic happens big time on this song. I am just envious as hell.

You and Kaley have two of the better written songs I have heard on a songwriting board.

Congratulations on this. Has anyone recorded your music?

Tom

WoW,thanks so much for listening and Im blown away by your comments.No one has recorded any of my songs,I sure dream that someone will someday.I had some interest on a couple songs from kady malloy,she was on american idol in the top 20 last year,but havent heard anything back.again thank you so much.

hey anyone, how do i get my soundclick link so it will come up on my posts?

Everything works here Sherry!

Yeah, I hear the Anne Murray comparison in your singing.

The only thing I'd change is the abrupt ending. I'd probably repeat "your just another guy" a couple times with a ritard on the last one - but then I'm just an old fart with old-fashioned ideas.

Good job!

Best, John

Johnny-Boy, thanks for listening and your comments,i have many old fart friends and they give the best advice...take care

just wanted to ask again how do i put my soundclick link in each of my post?

Sherry,
Here is the way that I do it:
I go to my main Sound Click page and it shows all the songs in a box below.
Then I choose the song I want to post and push the "Full" button next to the song.
This bring up the song with the option to listen to it Hi Fi or Low Fi.
Then I go up to the up to the URL or internet address at the top of your brouser and I highlight it.
Then I press the CTRL button and then the C button (hold CTRL down and then press the C button and this copies that address.

Then When you post your song you position you cursor where you want the song link to be on your tread and you press CTRL V (Hold CTRL button down then press V) This pastes the address on your thread.

Boy, I am sure there is a clearer way to explain it but I hope that made sense.

Tom

Hi Sherry,

Glad to meet you. This is an enjoyable listen, helped greatly by your singing and playing. The overall production sounded really good too. But, if I had to nit pick it, and I do, I'd suggest some more substance in your lyrics. I think it's the weakest link in this song.

everywhere i went i saw things
we used to do

doing things you never thought you could

knowing what i did was so wrong

These lines are all rather generic. There's little to no imagery here. You have many opportunities to paint some pictures about this guy, don't waste them. The bridge is also a great place to wake up the listener, tell us something new, but yours is a bit weak.

Musically, this is really good and I think if you work on the lyrics more, you can elevate this from just an OK song overall to a much better one, maybe even a great one.

Welcome to jpf. Hope you stick around and share more of your music and return the favor of critiquing the songs of others here on the forum.

Ricki

Tom thank you for the info,i will give it a try.

Ricki,thank you for listening and commenting,you gave me a couple things to consider.thanks again