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Joined: Dec 2008
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Hi Friends,The muse came with this the other day. I was thinking on the foster children organizations like PLAN and others are helping (I personally know Rodolfo from Colombia and Jordi from Equador). But for this, I guess I'll be looking for an opportunity when Bob Geldorf announces another project.. Crits, comments, suggies? 2009 Magne Kolstad / The Songcabinet Diamonds Dont BurnHungry and abandoned Out in the cold African heat Shes lost everything All her family and strength I cant begin to imagine how it feels And shes just a little girl But diamonds dont burn And my heart will never give up Before shes been given her share A little love wont hurt Ill give her the world And diamonds dont burn Her beautiful eyes Have seen much more than mine Ive travelled the world But never seen inside of her I dont know the half Still, she shines like a sun Cause diamonds dont burn And my heart will never give up Before shes been given her share A little love wont hurt Ill give her the world And diamonds dont burn Why should I care about one in a billion? What in the world gives me the right to help just one? But when the earth doesn't care And the sky is glowing down How can we understand? How can life grow? But diamonds dont burn And that my heart will never give up Before shes been given her share A little love wont hurt Ill give her the world And diamonds dont burn
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Joined: Aug 2007
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Mags,
I like what you are trying to say to us here. I have some suggestions that I will send you, then of course...take them or leave them....as always....HA.
Jan
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Joined: Dec 2008
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Thanks for bumping it, Janice, I guess this needs some work to work, so I'll better get to work. thanks for working on it, I hope it's working :-)
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Hey Mag, COOL hook....and a very poignant image to describe this little girl.  While you've presented some compelling details and I like where I think you're headed, I feel there are some contextual pieces missing. For instance, how did he come upon this girl? Both literally and figuratively, what brought him here? What's he going to do with her (I'm not suggesting anything insidious...just that technically, from your lyrics, he could simply be looking at a photograph of a child he might want to sponsor, and show his love that way....)? You did say you were going to work on this a bit more, so I look forward to seeing where you take it. With a hook this good, you're already well on your way to heading in the right direction....  Good luck!! Beth
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Joined: Jan 2009
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Agree with Beth comments but will add my own here.
Songs like these are needed, they are away to get out our frustrations and to express our emotions AND are always IMO a great exercise in the craft BUT the problem is who would sing it?
As is it is a downer ( and believe me that is not a negative IMO) and it offers little hope. Most 'singers' unless you are then singer tend to shy away from thesed type. BUT again just one mans opinion. AND I do not pretend to know anythinh.
Douglas
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Joined: Dec 2008
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Hey Mag, COOL hook....and a very poignant image to describe this little girl.  While you've presented some compelling details and I like where I think you're headed, I feel there are some contextual pieces missing. For instance, how did he come upon this girl? Both literally and figuratively, what brought him here? What's he going to do with her (I'm not suggesting anything insidious...just that technically, from your lyrics, he could simply be looking at a photograph of a child he might want to sponsor, and show his love that way....)? You did say you were going to work on this a bit more, so I look forward to seeing where you take it. With a hook this good, you're already well on your way to heading in the right direction....  Good luck!! Beth Thanks for commenting Beth! You always have very interesting, relevant and helpful thoughts. Loving that! I think you are very much to the point about the context markers. Putting some of those in there, will provide a much better framework to grasp the lyric in, and provide a needed scaffolding for the message. I did ship it over to Janice for more work, so I guess she'll put me to work on music for it soon :-)
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 3,845
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Agree with Beth comments but will add my own here.
Songs like these are needed, they are away to get out our frustrations and to express our emotions AND are always IMO a great exercise in the craft BUT the problem is who would sing it?
As is it is a downer ( and believe me that is not a negative IMO) and it offers little hope. Most 'singers' unless you are then singer tend to shy away from thesed type. BUT again just one mans opinion. AND I do not pretend to know anythinh.
Douglas Hi Douglas, Thanks a lot for your visit, and the frequency you maintain. I really appreciate that from a great singer/songwriter like yourself. I agree with you, it can be a problem finding artists for a message song like this. It's more likely something I'll keep in the catalogue, and be ready if any opportunities show up. Not too long ago there actually was a songwriter contest for songs like this, but I have lost the link for it and can't find it anymore. I guess the pickure I paint in the first verse lowers the energy, but I really was trying to have the chorus be about hope and the bridge to be about (concerns about) compassion. It is tricky to write a song like this, I'll give you that, and I do believe it is still good excercise even if nothing comes of it. I do love message songs myself, and I can't not writing them ;-) So Im very glad you think it is needed, after all.
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"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
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