JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 "Cookie" Rev. 5/19 again -- Changes in GREEN

Good point. Not many words rhyme with "shrewd." Not printable ones, anyway.

Joe

Thanks Joe,

I think bassinet did it for me...added "new" for meter. Looks okay to you now?

Beth

I think so. What them others think?

Joe

Beth, this was reading wonderfully for me till I got to the last two lines...

Daughter Ginger learned quickly
She made quite a snack

Perhaps I'm obtuse, but are you saying that the child was groomed to follow in her mother's footsteps? An easy lay for hordes of men? Yikes...I guess I'm old-fashioned but I find the notion kind of tacky... Not sure how well the idea would go over with an average (especially female) audience in general.

That's just me, though. (And maybe I've misunderstood something here. )

Donna

Hey DM,

Thanks for stopping by with your comments.

And no, you are far from obtuse -- you've just got half the story. (yay, winky!) What I was trying to do was leave it open to interpreation -- on one hand, it reads that she learned well from her mom how to make cookies. They're good for lunch, they're warm in the sack (bag), and she made them (snacks) really well.

For the more depraved in the crowds (this must be you !! ha ha ), it was possible to read it that she learned somehow what her mother had done to raise all this money to make the successful store...and decided to try her hand at a little nookie too. So it was more of a rebellion thing, than being groomed per se.

You are the first person who has actually commented on these lines (beyond Joe, and he's too biased ), so perhaps that lack of activity reflects issues with that ending.

Regardless, I appreciate you speaking up. I'll certainly take you concerns under advisement!!

Have a groovy day!
Beth

Me? Biased? I don't even know how to make a winky.

(I'm waiting for the cross-eyed one, anyway. I could use that a *lot*.)

joe

Beth,

As usual, you have worked hard at this. I think we need to hear it, in all its musical glory! Some things are not meant to be "read"...let's hear how it sounds "sung"...

It may help you to know what you don't (and do) really like about it, ya know?

Btw...imo, off shore accounts DOES make her sound shrewd!

Kristi

AHA! Now I get it! Oh well. I can live with "depraved". (Still hope the daughter isn't following in mom's footsteps, though. )

Donna

Hi again Boo,
Donna didn't understand that Cookie was making "pastry" stuff, (Probably). Hmmmm.
I was gonna say she was using a "cookie sheet" but Joe would probably make something out of THAT too <G>
Looks like it's in pretty good..shape
Y

Hey Joe,

We already have sort of a cross-eyed winkie -- top row, 4th one over!!

And you're so biased I might even start calling you EI-LEEN (get it? I lean?!)

Thanks for all your help....

Bethyboo

Hey Krisit ,

I'm sorry, I just skedaddled right over you (don't you love that word "skedaddle"? Hard not to smile after sayin' it....)!!!

Anyway, thank you for slapping me in the face (in a good way !), and reminding me to stop over-thinking every single letter! The voice of reason, in the middle of the Beth storm!!

I have no idea if this will be musicated, but that sure would be nice (btw, I AM taking numbers folks, up at Cookie's counter ). Regardless, I think I'm good with it now...and hope everyone has enjoyed the outcome of the group effort.

Thanks again, girlie....catch up with ya later....
Beth

Top row, fourth one over, huh? you mean this guy?

Beth, I might be able to try my hand at musicating this oh-so-sad anthem, soon's the new strings are broke in on the guitar. Might try something with the Electric Banjo, too--I was asked to record a lead track to a blues, and did it with the E.B., and it wasn't bad. Never thought of the banjo as a blues instrument. Maybe it'd be good for a waltz, too.

Joe

Hey DM,

Glad you were able to come back to check out on poor Ginger . Don't worry, I think she'll be just fine...

Have a great day,
Beth

Hi Y,

I appreciate the re-visit. Yeah, I think there might have been something lost in the translation for our otherwise brilliant Netherland's friend ! Fortunately, I think Donna is now all set with the situation.

Yes, Cookie Sheet would have been something funny to include -- like that's what she used to sleep on -- Cookie Sheets !! Sorry, I think the heat is getting to me!!

Anyway, glad you feel it's pretty ship-shape. I think so too....

Have a groovy day,
Boo

HEY JOE!

I'm just seeing this now!! How very cool! Although to be HONEST, I was secretly hoping you had this in mind...as you had been following the evolution of the lyric so closely.

I am more than happy to let you use this song as a musical "guinea pig" for your Electric Banjo. I certainly would never have thought of it for a waltz either, but don't we owe it to the world to find out?!

We're heading up to Maine tonight and will be back mid-day Sunday. Not sure if I'm taking my laptop or not...so if you can't reach me, that's why. Otherwise, we'll chat when I get back, okay?

Thanks again Joe...this'll be fun!!

xoxo,
Beth

I worry about the "owing it to the world" thing. My namesake, Josef Mengele, used to say that about his genetic experiments on human beings. Just because we owe it to the world does not necessarily mean the world wants to be paid. (Don't worry, though--I will be trying to do it anyway.)

The Electric Banjo is a *lead* instrument, remember; I won't be doing the whole thing with it. With that aforementioned blues, I just did Tasteful Insertions--very simple, because I have no intention of becoming a Banjo Player. (People tell jokes about banjo players.) We'll see.

Have fun in Maine. Dress warm. Last time I visited friends in Maine (Lubec), it was early June, and I was miserable because I hadn't brought any of my winter-weather gear...

Joe