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Thanks John

We are happy with it and hope it can change our lives of mishap lol

Thanks
Mike

Oh Glynda you sure are sweet...

Thanks, it does come from the heart & soul and I was so happy that every musical part, and there are many does as well.

Big Hugs
Mike

Howdy Mike, Gus here. I've spun this tune a multitude of times over several days, & it keeps getting better, as I discover new layers etc. Very inspirational, especially coming from you, & the load you're carrying. Someday, if you're interested, we'll blab about
all our trials and tribulations. I want to thank you for being the first one to look at my stuff here on JPF, & always being so forth coming with all your invaluable insight, & advice to all
TO ME, EVERY LINE IN THIS SONG COULD BE A HOOK FOR A SONG OF ITS OWN, MOST VERY SUBTLE, BUT ALL ON THE MARK........
.........Thanks for Sharing..............Gus

Hey Gus

Thank you so much. I really appreciate your feelings towards the song and that you get the same ones I do from it.

I may do an "inside track" on it. That's a special post I do where I go to the mixing board start isolating tracks and discuss different aspects of the song. What's going on, how I arrived at certain things, to decide to do this or that. It talks about arrangements, musical parts, sounds, effects, lyrics, melodies,hooks, overdubbing,layering etc.. etc...

Thanks Gus and I'm happy to be able to help out, I really really do understand not only what songwriters,musicians,singers,engineers,producers and music pitchers do and go through, but also how they feel.

Right now this one feels pretty good thanks to you.

Mike

Excellant song I can imagine this being covered by some established stars or in a caberet routine. Very radio friendly and catchy too.

"You know that smile before you cry
like a blessing in disguise"

That's a damn good line.

Thanks very much. I can hear any decent R&B artist today doing it.. Especially if they'll accept having more than two chords in a song

Thanks Dan

"That smile before you cry" I had that line four years ago, I started the song with it. It was so strong to me that I wasn't able to match it in the second verse.
SO I moved it to second verse forcing me to write a new first verse.

The new 1st verse sets a little better story picture, and
"Waiting On Someday" is a much more hopeful line which fits the songs theme.

My favorite is

"You never know what changes everything for the rest of your life"

Thanks Dan

Mike

Again, top shelf stuff... Hey Mina sounds good... so if I wanted to write a R&B song which chord would I start with?

Thank You Louis!

You start with whatever chord you like, it's the second chord that matters much more.

Mike

Hello Mike

This song is radio ready, great lyrics and outstanding musical arrangement and production.

The singer does a wonderful job.

Good luck with it.

Hey Songwriting Guru,

So sorry that it's taken me a while for me to listen to this song since you e-mailed me a few weeks ago, but here I am now...:-)

I will unfortunately say, this isn't *technically* urban R&B, but it's mainly a pop sing with a *slight* influence with Adult Contemporary R&B, kind of a bit of a fancier "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus...but I digress...

Now, before I start my analysis, I just wanted to say that I absolutely LOVE the instrumental arrangement and Mina's voice, she fits perfectly for this song!!

Some minor things, but definitely things you may want to think about with the song:

For some reason, I feel that some parts of the verses feel a bit awkward, it may be due to the rhythm and the emphases of how syllables are placed within a phrase. This is very apparent in the first verse (plus the melodies between Verse 1 and Verse 2 don't match, which isn't always a bad thing):

Here's a suggestion for Verse I

[I] wait on a someday (The "I" starts on the upbeat of Beat 2)
[Just] running out of time
It's the story of my life (These two words could be on the downbeat of Beat 1 and Beat 2 of that measure)
No one hears but I'm praying ("No" and "one" could be on the downbeat of Beat 3 and Beat 4 of that measure, while "hears" could be emphasized by having it be Beat 1 of the next measure)
If I could only find the strength
To put my world back into place

I absolutely love your lift:

You never know what changes everything
For the rest of your life

The chorus is really catchy, just got a few suggestions on it too:

Miracles occur 
Right here on this earth...
I believe they [really] could (it's kind of awkward to hear a melisma in the middle of a phrase in pop music nowadays, most of the time pop song melismas are usually heard at the end of phrases)
Tell everyone you know
It's there if you hope
Like the one I found with you, [the one I found with you] (you may want to complete the final line on the chorus, even if you're repeating it, just to give the chorus some bit of closure)

In Verse 2, I felt as if you used too many words...try to keep it simple as possible. Here's a suggestion:

That smile before you cry
A blessing in disguise 
What's taking me over
When I'm looking at my life
It's hard to realize
This is how it is (Your singer sang "(that) this is how it is" rather than is what's on your lyric sheet. I figured that she would follow the same rhythm as Line 3 in this verse, which would make more sense...)

Your bridge and coda were very effective!!

Sorry if I ended up butchering your song...it has a lot of potential to make it on an album, it just needs a little more fine tuning!

Keep up the good work!

-Karen :-)

Hi Karen

Thanks for taking the time and offering some solid suggestions.

I like the removal of "like" on the second verse....reads nicer for sure.
I wouldn't change "Waiting on someday" for "I wait on someday"
Doesn't sing/sound anywhere near as nicely to me...
In the chorus everyone loves the descending singing on the word "be-li-e- eve" to add the word "Really" would kill that totally.
I'd never do that for a grammar thing

It was crazy, I had three songwriters in here with me one night while doing the vocals ( various age ranges 19 -22 - 40) and I bounced every single thing off them to come to this conclusion.

We were like, "that reads better, but that sings better, that is much catchier than that"
Oh but you wouldn't say it like that" Doesn't that pause feel funny"? etc... lol
I originally had the last chorus line doubled and then opted to shorten it.
It's nuts I ran it past 4 people as well... I rely mainly on a non songwriter friend/producer when I do this. That really helps.

Many of my rhythms/phrasings stem from much much older pop & R&B pop style songs. There's in many cases a school from which these things come from...
If you are familiar with lots of songs from acts like The Spinners, Harold Melvin Blue Notes, The Stylistics, etc.. this vibe would feel even more comfortable. Sometimes it's LA/Babyface
or Michael or Stevie whatever.. Mix that with the massive rock and other influences and forget about it lol

Thanks so much I so appreciate your input on it, wish I had it earlier too

Mike

Hey Mike,

I'm glad that some of the stuff I mentioned helped. We all have to help each other, right? Since you've helped me so much in the past, I figured that I should return the favor. :-)

Of course, with any advice, it all has to be taken with a grain of salt. In regards to the song, it's really going to depend on how the song is going to be shopped and to what particular market. Will it be sent to the majors? Radio Disney? Indie?

Especially with my current involvement with pop music, it's difficult to experiment since you have to constantly keep up with the ever-changing trends of the music industry. Since you had mentioned that you like to use phrasing from older R&B pop songs, that type of phrasing may not fair well within a Top 40 radio format. With indie, however, the sky's the limit...:-)

(About that pop music involvement...I may have some really big news within the next few months...just cross your fingers for me!!)

Anyway, take care...keep writing, and I hope to hear more of your stuff soon!

-Karen

Thanks Karen

Yes, what will kill me on this for top 40 R&B is clear as a bell to me, I know it before I even try to do one thing with the song.

The arrangment...
Actual chord changes instead of meandering over the same two chords the whole song, ala Alica Keys, John Legend,Justin Timberlake and quite a few others.
A real bridge, intro's outro's a prechorus, Intentional alternate verse melodies...

The subject matter....
No SEX! bad me! the words "boy or girl" are not mentioned. So nothing to rhyme with "world" lol Nothing about.Clubs, bitches or body parts that nonsense...
There are excessive amounts of dumb or dumbed down lyrics on the top charted radio

Instrumentation...
A LIVE bass, ANY guitars whatsoever, real strings with actual multiple parts... Counterpoint..
Only horns would have done it in more

I could go on, I'm aware of all this already. But bottom line is regardless of me not degrading myself in all those manners this song is still catchy as hell up & down, start to finish. Nobody can deny that whether the song is denied or not

Keep us posted on your career, I hope this thing of yours cominng up is a goodie!!

All the best and thanks again

Mike

Hey Mike
I like the grove on this version, very easy to listen to.
great for tv or movie for sure. I really don't listen to the pop stations that much, but I bet it would fit right in.. good job!
;o)

Hey Mike,

Well, it wouldn't fit well with contemporary R&B, but it could do well with the Adult Contemporary stations...:-) They always love a sprinking of AC R&B floating in their rotation...:-)

I'll keep you posted!!

-Karen

Maybe I'm reiterating what others have said, but I think it still needs to be said: Wow a beautiful song! I can hear this on the radio, definitely AC. The vocalist fits well with the song and I like the arrangements. Very nice!