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JPF is Back
by John Lawrence Schick - 07/31/26 11:55 AM
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néomÃ
by Gary E. Andrews - 07/24/26 08:58 PM
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Fools Gold (Re-write)
c-2010
vs
Said she wasn't happy
Nothing left to say
Watching as another dream
Slowly walks away
vs
Questioning my sanity
Driving me mad
How can I miss a love
Seems I never had?
(chorus)
And I'm tired
And I'm feeling old
Tired of always finding
Fools Gold
(Bridge)
(Fools gold) You start believing, what you feel
(Fools gold) Your broken heart is, gonna' heal
(Fools gold) But the love just, isn't real
It feels...it feels so real
vs
Too late I discovered
Why it comes to this
Only a woman knows
The meaning of her kiss
(chorus)
Last edited by Roderic; 09/26/10 01:00 PM.
Wisdom is not in words; wisdom is the meaning in words
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nice write but i beleive i would call it Fools Gold and work it in the chorus.
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RODERICK--
MY TAKE ON YOUR LYRIC (CAPS): JMHO/USE OR LOSE
ANOTHER FOOLS’ GOLD
c-2010 RODERIC
vs
Said she wasn't happy
Nothing left to say
Watching as ONE MORE dream
Slowly SLIP away
A LITTLE WEARY
And feelin’ old
Tired of always finding
ANOTHER Fools’ Gold
vs
Questioning my sanity
SHE’S driving me mad
How can I FIND love
Seems I never had?
NOW I'm WEARY
Of THIS lonely road
Tired of always finding
ANOTHER Fools’ Gold
(Chorus)
You start believing, what YOU’RE FEELING
A heart ACHING, THAT COULD BE HEALIN’
AND REAL LOVERS KNOW
IT’S NOT REAL
IT’S ANOTHER FOOLS’ GOLD
vs
LEARNING TOO LATE
IT COMES DOWN to this
Only a woman knows
WHAT’S BEHIND her kiss
YES I'm WEARY
And I'm feeling cold
Cold from always finding
ANOTHER Fools’ Gold
REPEAT CH
IT’S ANOTHER Fools’ Gold
MACKIE
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Rockin_m,
thanks man. I was doing everything I could to not name it Fools Gold. Just seems so dated you know? Still a work in progress and have some ideas for working fools gold into the chorus. I'll keep hacking away at it. Thanks for your comments.
Rod
Wisdom is not in words; wisdom is the meaning in words
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Mackie,
you always give me great ideas. I am going to re-work this entire song and use several of your suggestions. Thanks big time.
Rod
Wisdom is not in words; wisdom is the meaning in words
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Hi Roderic, I liked the line "Only a woman knows/the meaning of her kiss." That was cool. And I think it's naturally "Fool's Gold" for the title as others said. The "feelin' old" line reminds me of that other famous song... "and I'm gettin' old...." I'd like to see more concrete imagery here - visual details, what color was her hair, why was it fake but felt real? Thanks for sharing, hope my comments are useful in a small way  Linda
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Linda,
I always appreciate direction and solid comments. I will be re-working this song. I will also take your suggestions into my thought process when doing so. Thank you for your help!
Rod
Wisdom is not in words; wisdom is the meaning in words
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Hi Roderic, Before I left tonight I decided I would resurrect a song and I picked yours I agree Mackie has some great ideas on this and I’ll be watching for the rewrite. I really like where this is going.:)
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Dottie,
Well thank you very much for bringing this one out of the dust bin. I am in the middle of 3 different projects right now. I will re-write this piece as soon as I can. Yes, Mackie has some great ideas I hope to use. Thanks again,
Rod
Wisdom is not in words; wisdom is the meaning in words
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HiDee Bro Rod!
Liked this'n a lot. Well-Condensed & To-The-Point.
I'd recommend "Fool's Gold" for your Title...it's stronger...JMO.
I'd sug "But this love DOESN'T SEAL-THE-DEAL/YET it feels..It feels so real" in your Chorus. KOS.
"Only a woman knows/The meaning of her kiss"...What a BRILLIANT bitta Writing, Amigo! That's ONE KILLER COUPLET ya got ya there!
Good Luck with the Whole Thing, It's a really Good Sad One!
Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug
Stan
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Ok,
I re-titled the lyric 'Fools Gold' and did a re-write. Your comments are greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Rod
Wisdom is not in words; wisdom is the meaning in words
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Stan,
Your comments were taken to heart. I did a re-write. Please let me know what you think of this version.
Rod
Wisdom is not in words; wisdom is the meaning in words
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Helping Hand
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Hey Roderic! I just read this and LOVE IT! Really nice write! I hope you keep this as is. I like the title "Fool's Gold" too, it drew me in. I like how you compare another failed relationship to fool's good...believing in something that turned out not to be real. Nice job!
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Polly,
Thank you for taking the time to read and then comment on my post. Fools Gold is about the only thing I have found the last few years. So, it was a natural progression to eventually write this, I guess. Thank you for your encouragement,
Rod
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Roderic, Good job on this! Bravo on the rewrite
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Dottie,
Thank you for your very kind words. I would not have done this now had it not been for you dragging this song out of the dust bin. I thank you for that and all your encouragement.
Rod
Wisdom is not in words; wisdom is the meaning in words
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Rod
Excellent write my friend. I think this is one of your best.
Powerful!
write on
blues
Write on, Man,
Michael W. Brown, f.k.a. "bluesriff"
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
Mahatma Gandhi
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Hi Again, Bro Rod!
It's VERY Good, Amigo!
But that "real/real" rhyme at end of Chorus still is improvable, JMO.
Good Luck with it..& it's gonna be a Good One, that I agree on!
Best Wishes & a Big Guy-Hug,
Stan
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Looks like 14 carat plastic on your next CD. Oh, and a weird title...."Ironing Out The Pyrite." It will get folks curious but it's silly. Hey..."14 Carat Plastic Soul"...aint bad either.lol~~~MFB III
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Blues,
Thanks for your support Brother. Means a lot.
Rod
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Stan,
Thank you for checking back. When you hear this piece set to music I think the phrase that doesn't seem right will make sense.
Your opinion is always welcome. Thanks again,
Rod
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MFB III,
How about 22 carat pure pyrite plated! Oh well, you say pyrite, I say it just might. Thanks for taking a look,
Rod
Wisdom is not in words; wisdom is the meaning in words
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Hi Roderic,
Is there any chance we will be hearing this soon?
Dottie
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Hi Rod, Just read your song, it is a good one. I think Mackie has some great ideas, I agree with the slips away. Anyway, all in all, a good one.
Dawny
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I don't know...I don't like the title idea...Kidding. How funny! I was just about to post my vocal on the mp3 board for Fool's Gold (one I started a few months ago and have been playing around with the melody for) and saw this and thought...did I post my rewrite? Too funny! Don't want to cause any confusion, so I thought I'd better check. I'll just do my demo and not post it, lol.
Mackie has some good suggs up there. I think slipped away gives it a smoother feeling, softer and an image of flowing.
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Dottie,
At present I am working on two other projects and have two more waiting. So this one will have to wait just a little while longer to get made. Much appreciated as always.
Dawny D,
I agree, Mackie has some great ideas, and I will look at everything before I decide which way to go. Thank you for taking a look.
Caroline,
Please use the title 'Fools Gold'. It will not hurt my feelings in the least. Please post your demo, I would love to hear it. Thank you for the read.
Wisdom is not in words; wisdom is the meaning in words
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