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néomÃ
by Gary E. Andrews - 07/24/26 08:58 PM
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 621
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Not too sure about this one. Any "nits" or empty spots?
Please Tell Me (08/05/02)
(V) Why can I talk to our neighbour, speak to their cat. Converse with a stranger. Ya! Have a nice chat. Confide in our good Lord. Do every day, but the one that I talk to won’t hear what I say? Please tell me.
(V) How can it be, I can pick up the phone? Confer with my sister ‘bout being alone? Have a discussion with an old friend? But the one I must talk to is never there in the end. Please tell me.
(Chorus) Please tell now ‘cause I am really dying to know. Which way is up and which way I’m meant to go! Please tell me now for I feel like I’m fading inside. I’m losing myself in her silence I’m losing my bride!
(V) I can talk to the postman while he makes his rounds. Break the news to the store clerk when there’s one to be found. Hold a discussion while waiting in line, but the one I must talk to always seems to decline? Please tell me. (Chorus)
(B) I’m lost in confusion. I’ve lost my way. It seems that each moment there’s less to say. Once was a time not long ago we’d share every bit of each others info.
(V) Yet I can talk to a stranger, someone just met. It can be a blond or a brunette. Speak with somebody met on the train but the one I must talk to won’t say my name? Please tell me. Please tell me.
Copyright © 2002 by Douglas Murphy
------------------ "You can do what ever you want to do where ever you want to go. It's up to you." John Denver
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Joined: Aug 2002
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The first verse, in fact all the verses, really hold my interest, great angle! I gotta wonder if the choruses would work better if they were directed to the person you're singing about, rather than to a third party. I tend to think they should change a bit less to give more stability to the whole thing, more singability too. It's really a catchy idea - run with it!
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 969
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Hey Doug, Sad lyric, but seems to flow nicely. I like the chorus but was almost expecting to hear reference to his pride. Just food for thought. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif) nice writing Cheers Trudi
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Joined: Aug 2001
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Thanks for the feedback. It is always appreciated.
doug
------------------ "You can do what ever you want to do where ever you want to go. It's up to you." John Denver
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Joined: Aug 2002
Posts: 66
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I like the verses, but I think the chorus needs some work, it doesn't really have a hook to me. The idea is good though. Good luck!
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Joined: Aug 2001
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Thanks for looking this one over JNethery. Always glad to see a comment or to.
doug
------------------ "You can do what ever you want to do where ever you want to go. It's up to you." John Denver
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Joined: Jan 2002
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Hi Doughglas, Love the lyrics.Hope you put it to music. God bless ClaireJeanne
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Joined: Aug 2001
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Thanks for the kind words clairejeanne. At the moment there is no music for this one. I hope to get it going shortly.
doug
------------------ "You can do what ever you want to do where ever you want to go. It's up to you." John Denver
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