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What A Nightmare

(c) 2010 Geneva (Keith) Griffin

Verse 1
He wed that girl from his high school day,
Started a fam'ly when they bought'um a place,
They had lived on love, life was sweet,
Thought they had everything they'd ever need..

Verse 2
Four kids later life had got real hard,
Worked a 14 hour day to keep up with the farm,
They'd quarrel and fight, he'd sleep alone,
When money got tight all those sweet words were gone..

Chorus
He took a one way walk to greener pasture,
Bent the fence, stepped across the line,
A one way walk to greener pasture,
The fields were muddy on the other side,
No the grass weren't green when he got there..
Woke up sweatin'.. what a nightmare....

Bridge
That curious stare from the eye of a stranger,
Can put thoughts in the mind that are dangerous..
Nothing on earth was worth his wife and fam'ly,
He might'a been lonely but he was in love....

Chorus
He took a one way walk to greener pasture,
Bent the fence, stepped across the line,
A one way walk to greener pasture,
The fields were muddy on the other side,
No the grass weren't green when he got there..
Woke up sweatin'.. what a nightmare....

Verse 3
He got off the couch went it to his wife,
Said we need to talk too many things ain't right,
Babe I need a break, you need one too,
We'll sell a few acres do what we gotta do..

Chorus
He took a one way walk to greener pasture,
Bent the fence, stepped across the line,
A one way walk to greener pasture,
The fields were muddy on the other side,
No the grass weren't green when he got there..
Woke up sweatin'.. what a nightmare....

Yeah, fences don't make good neighbors or married couples, the grass might look greener, but it's full of blues....great song...adn story~~~MFB III

Tweaks below, keep or sweep


Verse 1

They had lived Living on love, oh, their life was sweet,
Thought they had everything they'd ever need..

Verse 2
Four kids later life had got became real hard,
Worked a 14 hour days to keep up with the farm,
They'd quarrel and Sometimes they'd fight, he would sleep alone,


Chorus
He took a one way walk to greener pasture,
Bent the fence, stepped across the line,
A one way walk to greener pasture,(I'd replace this line to avoid song ID confusion)
The Muddy fields were muddy on the other side,
No the grass werewasn't green when he got there..
Woke up sweatin'.. what a nightmare....

Bridge

Nothing on earth was worthone could replace his wife and fam'ly,
He might'a been lonely but he was in love....


Verse 3
He got off the couch went it to talk to his wife,
Said we need to talk we both know too many things ain't right,

Hi Geneva,

I like the story here and love the chorus....hope this one gets music..I could hear it while reading it...glyn

Thanks MFB,

Grass were'nt greener.


Geneva

I RSV,

I appreciate all your suggestions. Should be able to go through them this weekend.Big help!

Geneva

Thanks Glyn,

Me Too!

Geneva

Geneva,

Well written and thoughtful. Great storyline. I'm with Glyn, would really like to hear this to music.

Rod

Geneva,

Well written & nice story. The only suggestion to maybe try is leave the structure the way you have it but in the last run of the chorus you could try saying your hook in a different way because it seems there was some sort of resolution in the 3rd verse but the chorus the way it is brought me back into the nightmare. Maybe that's your intention but I would fool around with the last run of the chorus a little more for the heck of it. Possibly something like what's below.

Just a thought,

Ken

Chorus
He took a one way walk to greener pasture,
Bent the fence, stepped across the line,
A one way walk to greener pasture,
The fields were muddy on the other side,
No the grass weren't green when he got there..
how one sweet dream turned.. what a nightmare....

GENEVA--

MY TAKE IN CAPS--JMHO--USE OR LOSE

What A Nightmare
(c) 2010 Geneva (Keith) Griffin

Verse 1
ASKED FOR HER HAND RIGHT AFTER high school,
Started a fam'ly AND THEIR LIFE WAS COOL,
They lived on love, SAVORING THE sweet,
Thought they had everything they'd ever need..

Verse 2
Four kids later life had TURNED hard,
A 14 hour day WORKIN' the farm,
They'd quarrel and fight, he'd sleep alone,
Money got tight THE sweet words were gone..

Chorus
He took a one way TRIP to greener pastureS,
Bent the fence, stepped across the line,
THERE HE�S CRYING IN greener pastureS,
The fields were muddy on the other side,
The grass WASN�T greenER OVER there..
WAKIN� IN A SWEAT.. what a nightmare....

Bridge
That curious stare IN the eye of a stranger,
PUT in HIS mind THOUGHTS THAT LINGER.
BUT THEY AIN�T worth his wife and fam'ly,
HE STILL HAS LOVE AND WON�T BE LONELY.

Chorus
He took a one way TRIP to greener pasture,
Bent the fence, stepped across the line,
THERE HE�S CRYING IN greener pastureS,
The fields were muddy on the other side,
The grass WASN�T greenER OVER there..
WAKIN� IN A SWEAT.. what a nightmare....


Verse 3
He got off the couch went it to his wife,
Said LET�S talk �BOUT GETTIN� THINGS right,
GIRL I need a break, AND you one too,
Sell a few acres AND START ANEW.

Chorus
He took a one way TRIP to greener pasture,
Bent the fence, stepped across the line,
THERE HE�S CRYING IN greener pastureS,
The fields were muddy on the other side,
The grass WASN�T greenER OVER there..

Mackie

Thanks Rod,

I appreciate your comment.

Geneva

Thanks Mackie,

You always have great suggestions for the rewrite.

I'll definately use some of them.

Geneva

Thanks Country Cyote,

I do really like your idea.

Be comming back to rewrite this soon.

Geneva