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Hi guys,


Your melody is ok, it doesn't sound like current country radio.

The lyrics just don't do it for me. I'll do a quick crit of the first verse.

The architect came by today.
YOU LOST ME ALREADY. THE WORD "ARCHITECT" IS TOO CLINICAL FOR REDNECK ART.
He spread out the plans and showed me the new room where the kids will play.
THE ACTION HERE IS HIM SPREADING OUT THE PLANS. NO EMOTIONAL CONNNECTION TO THAT. SOMETHING LIKE "I COULD SEE THE KIDS PLAYING..." MIGHT MAKE THAT SCENE BETTER
I smiled and said it all looks good to me,
GOES NOWHERE. IT'S LIKE SAYING "I LIKE IT" WE'RE NOT BUILDING AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH YOU
then walked off to that little bench beneath the maple tree.
I LIKE THAT YOU ADD A SOMEWHAT CONCRETE IMAGE, BUT IT'S NOT AIMING TOWARD THE HOOK.
The house we planned is really comin’ along.
THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE BEEN SAYING ALL ALONG.
I put the garden in right where you wanted, where a robin sings his song.
NOT BAD, BUT IT'S NOTHING MEMORABLE. WHAT WOULD MAKE FOLKS REMEMBER THIS LINE?
Night and day that white picket fence could protect you every minute.
BETTER, BUT YOU'RE SORT OF MIXING TWO MODIFIERS...NIGHT AND DAY AND EVERY MINUTE...IT'S A LITTLE REDUNDANT.
What’s left to finish?
THIS SONG lol.

The chorus is ok, but the whole thing is a metaphor to me, so adding puzzle pieces becomes a mixed metaphor or a metaphor within a metaphor. The second line of the bridge is a little awkward..."to put back in what was never in the plans..." are you putting something back... that was never there? Also, "in..in.." can confuse.

The biggest problem for me is that I get no emotional connection from it. If the protagonist was doing more building, sweating, etc. specific things like remembering when he hit his thumb with the hammer and she kissed it and right there where the bedroom was going to be they made love under the stars. But now the bedroom is finished, and so is their love. That kind of stuff. The word "archictect" is not romantic. Get romance in for the women and sex in for the men, then make it all come crashing down. Get scenes people will remember. I won't remember an architect coming in with plans or putting in a garden. I will remember hitting my thumb and that leading to making love, right where the bedroom will be. I'm not suggesting that you use that, but you are free to if you'd like, I'm simply lamenting the amount of work you've done so far without making it unusaual, specific, and memorable.

You're good workers, good craftsmen, now become good artists.

All the Best,
Mike

Jim, it's been that way for decades and the reason what was then called outlaw country came about with Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson, Jerry Jeff Walker, Billie Joe Shaver, Michael Martin Murphey, Joe Ely, Jimmy Dale Gilmore and others was the discontent with the Nashville Sound.
The Nashville Sound has, indeed, morphed over the years and is still much too much cookie cutter music with a good number of artists playing the same thing in a slightly different guise. Country music with a rap, SKA, or raggae beat and vocals??? Give me a break. Other than those styles being incorporated the rest is pretty much pop rock with some of it having an edge. MAB is pretty much right on in his description of those changes.

Jim, IMHO, if you want to hear decent country music dial into what is now called Americana and also Alt Country.

Thanks Dak I am aware of what you say...I am also aware of MAB's take on Nashville and although he knows about the scene there does not mean we all have to agree with the way they do things and follow the one dimensional formula THEY use.... that is why Nashville has stagnated and why I made my comments. He thinks there is only one way to skin a rabbit and that is doing it his way (the Nashville way) He is so caught up in his little world he forgets that outside Nashville there is a big old world where some people do things different.... they like and write other kinds of music and maybe hold different values to him and his insular cronies.....but according to him we are all wrong and ignorant so our views are not worth listening to just because we do not agree with HIS rules or ways of doing things.

Well the hype worked. What a debate!

Great critique Mike. Top notch.

Some great time and energy from the replies on here but I have a niggling feeling it will all be to no avail.

I couldn't get the song to play. I really thought this was a joke, and when I found out it was serious, it actually became even more funny!

Still, there is some awesome info in this thread... and I have to say that I absolutely LOVE Kurt's song, so thanks for posting it here, Kurt. It's also a good example of the point Marc is making... very sad in a very happy sort of way!

I hope the SuburbanCowboys learn something from this, I think everyone could.

--Jen

I find myself agreeing both with the POV of our friend from Scotland and Marc's Nashville POV. I think Marc clearly understands how Nashville is put together and he knows that getting major artist interested in your music requires access. People who play fair, don't make enemies; who are generous and nice get access. Once you have access, you still have to have deliver the goods.

But music is universal and it has no boundaries and no rules. If Jim can make a living in Scotland playing music, he has accomplished an objective if that was ever his objective. On the other hand, if Jim wrote and recorded a country album and wanted to sell a million copies in the USA, he might have to go through Nashville to make it really big- like perhaps the most famous country music outsider today, Kieth Urban.

Urban was a bit of a prodigy-very good when very young- and he made a big splash in the Australian country music scene early but always had his sight on Nashville. He built career bridges to Nashville before he recorded, and eventually moved there. He was vastly talented and unique but it still took the right timing and cultural readiness before his unique combination of rowdy Austrian Pub Rock country style and Mark Knopfler inspired licks translated into a career as a Nashville country star.

I bet Marc watched it all happen there in Nashville as Keith Urban did session work and tagged along on concert tours with the likes of Tim McGraw, Faith Hill and Dwight Yoakam. As talented as he was, he didn't just drop into town one day and become a superstar (as he was in Australia). He, first of all, loved the music tradition in Nashville. Then he learned the game as it was played there. I don't think he ever resented it. He was so talented that Garth Brooks, Dixie Chicks and others ask him to play on their albums. So I am sure from his point of view, it was all good. I don't think he was calculating how to make the "right" friends in high places. But if you stop to think how much work it took for a talent as gifted and Keith Urban to make it in Nashville, it will give you some idea of how difficult it must be for someone with talent less than his. And now if I understand what Marc is saying, Nashville isn't even looking for stars that haven't already been promoted on contest like American Idol. And that makes sense because if the talent has already been promoted, that is money a producer doesn't have to spend.

On the other hand, Nashville is not the Alpha and Omega of music- even country music. There's plenty of avenues to a career in music and it is still wonderful that careers of all kinds are possible in music. What I still wonder sometimes however is this: Does the very best players, writers, performers singers etc always rise to prominence or are the very best more likely to be heard only in a local pub or on a back porch. I'd love to know the answer to that question.

The very best players, performers, writers and singers are not heard largely. They're in bluegrass.

Mike, I'm not sure if you are serious or not but the first time I heard Union Station with Allison krauss, I thought the band was sent down from Heaven.

Mike, and the writers if your are still reading, this is a very good critical analysis of the lyrics. I read through the lyrics yesterday thinking I was going to suggest how do the things Mike discussed here but had to give up because I didn't have a really good place to start- Like you pointed out, mentioning the architect in the first line was a bad idea.

Amen

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Jen. Thanks for the kind words.

This is all very interesting. I agree with some and disagree with others, but were probably all wrong. To paraphrase Tony Joe White ... There's another trend coming. Are we ready to ride?
Vic

Joe "What I still wonder sometimes however is this: Does the very best players, writers, performers singers etc always rise to prominence or are the very best more likely to be heard only in a local pub or on a back porch. I'd love to know the answer to that question"

I think the answer to that question is obvious. If any place is a closed shop and are not constantly looking for new blood or the best that is out there....then they cannot possibly use the best or be the best. That principle does not just apply to Nashville it applies everywhere. The business has a habit of picking their favourites and the flavour of the month gets the best gigs......does not mean they are the best. Any business always takes a risk backing an unknown regardless of how good they are. Some just will not take the chance.
At the risk of repeating my war cry yet again.....popular does not necessarily mean great.....and in pop music it does not even mean having to be any good. I see acts all the time who simply cannot even sing in tune yet still make millions. I bet there are hundreds if not thousands who given the chance could do much better. Pop music today is more about image and production rather than musical ability or the quality of the song. I think that Nashville has kinda followed that philosophy too.
I get called old and cynical and folk say I live in the past...well that is possibly true.....but back in the sixties and seventies...you had to be a great player with great material before even being considered for a recording deal. Image and looks came second.
Stands to reason if you turn that upside down then the quality of the product suffers dramatically.
Take a look at Cheryl Cole....she was in Girls Aloud then went solo and became a TV celeb on pop reality shows like X factor.
She is drop dead gorgeous....but completely tone deaf. 99.9% of the time she lip syncs but I had the misfortune to hear her sing live on TV......it was woeful and TOTALLY embarrassing. Sadly most of the top pop acts fall into that category. They might look great but do not ask them to perform music. Now I am not angry at her....good luck I say....but the people who put her there deserve to be exposed and taken to task....and the public deserve better. If I did not know better I would think they are having a laugh at the public's expense by trying to see just how much crap they can foist on them and get away with it.

Jim, I think I would agree with you that just by probability alone, the best "talent" probably has not risen to prominence but I'm not talking about "potential". I could be wrong of course but do you think there was someone much better than Beethoven in his age who we never heard of? To write at that level, he would need support from the wealthy and the professional musicians of the day who presented the concerts. So being in the "Nashville" of classical music, which was probably Vienna, was almost a requirement just to get a chance to write. The Eagles needed the collaboration of many to make the amazing songs they created. I think that raw talent without some kind of collaboration would never be heard even locally. Even you have your band, and I bet you appreciated them. I spent a couple of hours today laying down some tracks on a new song and it is as tedious as hell. I hate it compared to that summer in Nashville when I had 4 session musicians "reading my mind".
I think the very best music may very well rise to prominence most of the time because it takes so much collaboration for the really good stuff to come together. But if Mike Dunbar is correct, somewhere in the back hills of Kentucky, there is probably a little bluegrass band turning out gems we will never hear.

The funniest thing about all this is that the original poster couldn't care less about any truth posted here. He's deeply in the world of self delusion and unlikely to ever come out. If he IS working with connected people with big awards on their shelves it's only because he's paying them money in a slow, depressed market where you can even get famous has beens to work with crap if you can pay for it. Sad stuff for sure.

The only think written over and over more often than this brand of terrible country song is this same set of good advice and the same old argument between Jim, Marc and the rest of us which has rarely changed an inch in any direction over the years. At least new folks will get some good info in between the pointless claims and banter of those knee deep in delusions. The funniest comment was when Joe said something about "an honest" writer being able to see that their song isn't as good as something else. Joe... put down the cool aid. Remember... "delusions" of writers are as dependable and unchanging as the ticking of a clock.

Brian

Well, if nothing else, we're delighted to have inspired such in- depth debate.

Without beating the point to where the horse's ghost comes back and says between naaaaaayyys, "Oh c'mon, now stop it already!" the entire he said-she said discourse above (and predictably below after you guys read this) begs for the question: What are we supposed to say to the hundreds of people who have told us how moved they were by the song? Sure, none of them are Grammy-winning songwriters, producers, or artists or work for any labels, but they do have one thing in common that we would think makes them arguable arbiters of what might be a hit-in-the- making or at least a song that already has 'hit' the right note: they're fans of Country music. Do we simply openhandedly discount their opinions? Sure, this contention could easily dissolve into the time honored debate of artistic vs. commercial success or whether one requires the other for validation but seriously guys, unless we're at risk of believing our own hype -- or we somehow have uncovered a bunch of long lost relatives we didn't know we had, the evidence suggests that the people who, in theory, matter most seem to have been very moved by what we have done here. Now if you're saying that what we have done here is no longer the trend, are you not likewise saying that you, too, put commercial success above artistic merit? If it's all about numbers in the end and we produce the numbers, shouldn't that, at some point, register on the radar of some publishing company or with some major or up and coming artist's manager?

If you attend a novel-writing conference, you soon discover that the 'big thing' in the book publishing industry, which has been vocalized ad nauseum for the past three years, is "the platform." Every lit agent, indy editor, and publisher gushes about the need to build a platform before you go after the book deal. We extrapolate from this that their point is: it's all about numbers. Said another way: Who cares if you're an aspiring Shakespeare or Stephen King? At the end of the day, can you show us that your work -- the product -- has a following that can, if properly promoted to an even larger audience, generate sales and give us a handsome return on our investment if we decide to back you? Now personallly, we'd far prefer to be known for our artistic strengths than solely how many sales we racked up. But are we to say that all of those hundreds now and, we're we to take this to a larger audience, potentially thousands of listeners later are somehow misinformed because a few defenders of good taste and artistic merit and/or trend monitors feel the concept is...dated? Do you guys want to take on the job of writing all these people and telling them they have no right to what they like or dislike? Or even worse, they have no idea what they like anyway? That doesn't strike us as such a hot idea or even a practical undertaking. But ever ones to not be swayed by what may be nothing more than a fluke (let's face it, flukes sometimes happen), we're not going to sit here and either be impressed by our own initial positive feedback or be disuaded by the pundits. No. We're going to use what you've graciously acknowledged are our instincts for promotion...and take this song to a larger -- much larger -- audience. Oh, and so that we eliminate the "freebe factor," i.e. the theory that people will generally give you a decent or at least semi-okay review provided they don't have to pay for the opportunity, we're going to competitively charge prospective FB and MySpace and other social networking audiences no more than $2 per download...with the written guarantee that they will get their money back within 48 hours if they simply do not like the song. In other words, we're going to put their money where our mouth is, so to speak. Anyone care to wager whether we'll break $500, $5,000 or $50,000 in sales? No, that money wouldn't come close to paying back the advance if we were a new band and a label awarded us with a recording contract, but it should hopefully establish whether the general listening public really likes our material. We don't know, do you think that music executives give themselves the luxury of sitting around all day debating art vs. commerce? Maybe. But something tells us that were they to do that, while they're doing that, their company shareholders are busy studying one little four or five lettered abbreviation in a sea of them in the Wall Street Journal. Oh, but wait a minute, now we're starting to sound like all those people who would have you believe it's only about trends. Oh man, it's enough to make us wanna drop the pen and notepad and go back to something more intrinsically imperative, like...sheep farming. Wait a minute, do they farm sheep? Well, while you're pondering that, we're going to start a campaign. Frankly, we're not sure what will determine in the end if this has been a success. But we know this...it's bound to get us noticed. And if the squeaky wheel gets the contract then maybe it'll be worth it. Stay tuned, gentlemen. We have not yet begun to write....

I say good luck on your song and your endeavors. I just hope you are writing a lot of songs and not just spending 2 years on one dang song!

Kevin

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm finished- good luck Ralph.

You asked what we, as a group, really think about the song. We, as a group, told you. You don't believe it, so be it but not only did you not write the 4th saddest song but it's nowhere in contention.
That you can take to the bank. The song you cannot.

Based on the fact that even Taylor Swift could not get $2 for a download, I will bet you do not hit $100 in total downloads.

I hope I am wrong.

I am not surprised that your song is not up to much....I kinda knew that 18 months ago after seeing your site, corresponding with you and listening to your hype. What does surprise me is the ridiculous claim that hundreds of people actually like your song and think it could be a hit. If you are deluded enough to actually believe that then no amount of honest advice from this forum can save you.
Please take the advice given by experienced people here who are only trying to help save you more wasted money and much future embarrassment.

We're thrilled!

We'll take that bet! But to be clear on our intentions, provided we have completed our audition process in time, (did we mention how hard it is to find a vocalist who does pure Country in the Bay Area?) we're re-recording the vocal track before the end of July with a very different vocalist who does nothing but Country. We're looking for our Trace Adkins or Travis Tritt. You are out there, aren't you?

Jim -


Back away from the microphone.

If you look back over our replies, we're fairly certain you will see nothing but thank yous to everyone for weighing in. But we're not in the business of rolling over and dying because of some negative feedback. That seems counterproductive. We also are not incliined to ignore the positive feedback we're receiving from the non-songwriting (listener) public anymore than we should ignore yours. This very well may be shaping up as a craft vs. commercial contest. We're going to stay in the game to the very end. Just like the guy in the song. (By the way, the guy in the song eventually got the girl back and, we're delighted to let you know, on June 28th @ 8:11 a.m. Pacific, she gave birth to his daughter. So we're going to push --no pun-- for an equally joyful outcome. Stay tuned. Maybe we'll write a sequel...)

Brian,

Ouch. A bit harsh, no? What part of any of our responses has been nothing less than gracious? We're taking the running commentary all to heart, but we're not giving up because of it. If you think about it, with what we thought was the injection of "a little wink" ("We aimed for 'The 4th Saddest Country Song...'") in the spirit of fun and humility, has opened the door for a few people here to spout what seems unkind. And we were honestly looking for professional feedback. But we simply cannot discount the other very positive feedback we're receiving from the outside world. And we haven't paid anybody for it. All monies raised have gone into the production budget. Curiously, no one, thus far, has knocked that so we guess we should count our blessings. Eventually, we'll probably post a link to the positive feedback we've received since completing the project in June. And, as promised, we will take the song to a larger audience to ensure that a few hundred people liking it is not simply a fluke. Our reluctance to post a link so far, and we hope you'll respect why, given some of the more biting commentary we've read, is that a few guys here will start targeting the audience and telling them that they don't know a good song if they heard one. You know, by our way of thinking, there's a point at which a critique designed to instruct devolves into nothing less than bitterness. We can't understand why that would have a place at JPF. Seriously, if we're "all in this together," we're not quite sure we'd want to share the same stage or barstools with a few of the people in this forum who seem to be going for gutteral insult. That doesn't seem to be up to the standards of what JPF professes to encourage. Or are we missing something? Now weigh those bitter tomes against the members here who took the time to creatively and professionally critique the song line by line. That's helpful. The other banter? Frankly, it wouldn't exactly encourage us to go out there and likewise encourage other songwriters to sign on. But what do we know? We only work here.

Of course, we invite feedback on the above. Just play nice.

Our six cents.

Oh we have others; an entire catalog at various stages of development. Someday, we very well may publicize why one of the two writers had to stretch out the production calendar. Nothing serious. No one came down with cancer or was temporarily institutionalized; nothing like that. But events had to unfold that, curiously, drew a striking parallel to the events described in the song. Maybe if you get us drink enough...

What, you get a feather?

Not sure why there has been such a discussion about this song.

The song sucks...pretty damn bad...end of discussion.

There's been alot of sugar-coating going on in this thread, as I'm guessing there is alot on this forum with people trying not to hurt peoples feelings. It human to try to point out the good in someones creative work. But this? No. I'm not going to do it. Sometimes, you have to tell people what it really is, and it might make them better for it

I don't care if you actually had Travis Tritt or Trace Adkins singing on it, it would still suck. I don't and will never buy into the idea that good singer make a bad song good.

Please take my advice...write another song. You should spend your time writing more, and hoping you get a good one, instead of worrying about this one that you have apparently been working on for years. Years? Really? As I read, you have been looking for a singer for years. You can't even imagine what real songwriters can get done in a single day, let alone years

I am not giving you this advice as an opinion or to be rude. My intent is, in letting you know what you have here, that you will actually go and write more.

I am actually impressed that you are taking the time to come back and respond to the comments here.

I really do think that the belief here, as stated by the JPF "we're all this together" team, is that your song is just not up to the commercial bar that you wish that it was.

Nonetheless, if you turn it into a money making endeavor -- no one here (that I know) will begrudge you that success. It won't change my opinion on the quality of the overall song, but I still like to see folks "make it".

There are thousands if not hundreds of thousands of deluded people who think they have written a hit song......most of these songs suck some are just average and some might even be pretty good but the sad fact is that statistically very few of these songs will ever be commercially released never mind become a hit.
Even with a great song the chances of it ever being heard by someone whose opinion counts and is in a position to promote it are slim to none.
Lets say that a great song is promoted and released by a top star on a top label. There is still only a slim chance of it making any money or becoming a hit.
200 fans does not make a song a hit. 2000 will still cost you money. even 20000 sales will not make a song a hit.
Now I like you guys.... you stand by your convictions you have a sense of humour a pretty thick skin and are pretty good at promoting something up in your own way. I wish you no harm. Just wish you would take advice from well meaning folks who perhaps have more experience and knowledge of songwriting and the music business than yourselves.
The more you guys say the more I am convinced that you are just a couple of very green newbie wannabe lyric writers who penned a few cliched lines and got a demo company to write the music and make it into a pretty poor country song....
Writing even an average song is way harder than that....and writing good songs is a craft that has a very long learning curve.
Before worrying about writing a hit song...you need first to learn how to write an average song....that bar is set way higher than your current effort.
For info some of the guys who passed negative comments on the quality of your song are guys who know the biz inside out and whose comments should be valued rather than scoffed at. But at the end of the day I hope you learn a valuable lesson when you realise that their foresight is better than your hindsight.
Follow the dream.....before it becomes a nightmare.
Every dollar you burn on this song is a dollars experience. Lets hope you get valuable experience before too many dollars are burned.

That sir, is a gem of wisdom, and relates to any song, or any other endeavor as a matter of fact.

Ah... I see... people can't be "in it together" according to Mr.SubCowboy unless they love his work. Well, add that to the delusion. So if people disagree and find what you're doing becoming a time and talent waster of sorts for those giving you quality and accurate advice, they can't be, according to you, "in this together." Ironically, people seem amazingly "in this together" by indicating your song isn't good enough. You're the one who is choosing to be against the rest of us. You won't find much agreement here among the list of people on this post very often, so I will certainly credit you in bringing us together on this topic.

Dissent and passionate and logical support of a position is what makes this group fantastic. On the rare occassions where we have an overwhelming majority opinion on a topic, I've yet to find that we're wrong. Perhaps you'll prove it here. I hope you do. Because if that song can become a legitimate commercial hit, then ANY song can, regardless of quality or any other factor. That means the doors are far more wide open than ever before.

By the way, no one here, even though most strongly disagree with you, has stopped you from posting considerably more than anyone else. You get to say what you think, and we get to say what we think. Since you ASKED for feedback, you must be prepared to receive it. You get no points for being polite in responses, that should be a given. After all, if you had not ASKED for it, you would not have gotten it. That you didn't like it is irrelevent. Your view is a common one from someone not yet ready for reality. That's okay. Everyone has to be ready to advance and you just aren't there yet. It doesn't make you a bad person, just predictable. Perhaps after you spend lots of money and fail, a lightbulb will go off and you'll revisit this post and find the info you need to advance your skills a bit. One lesson is that when you ask people to spend time listening to your work and then more time responding with their opinions of it, it's your job to do less talking and arguing and justifying and more time listening to what was said, either taking or not taking the advice, and thanking those, even if you disagree with them and that's it. When someone posts long long rebuttals and excuses and claims and BS instead of listening and thanking people, it's clear they are not capable yet of hearing dissenting opinions or anything else that doesn't fit their own pre-existing ideas. So why waste people's time if you'd already had so much positive reaction from "real" fans and that is all that matters to you? And who do you think is more likely to know how the industry works, fans with no idea or experience, or a wide diverse array of experienced people who probably add up to 100's of years of industry experience at all levels in total, who, even though they often disagree on other matters, have so many negative views of your song? Think about the answer. If you are tempted at all to go with the unknowing fans, you're not ready for anything other than feeding a delusion informed by ignorance.

Everyone CAN learn eventually, but not all DO. Time will tell where you fall on that curve.

Brian

Exactly.

What Marc is saying is the same rational used in the visual arts and movie industry. The industry pundits decide what is 'hot' and all the 'creators' rush to go that way and be the first to come up with the next hit, but within the 'accepted' style.
In the Art market, say NYC, the galleries decide what the next craze is based on sales. They might say to an artist, "African style is going well this year", so the artists all run to their lofts and crank out African style.
Movie producers do the same. They say, "Murder Mysteries are the thing", and a guy with a Sci-Fi idea can't raise the money to get his story on film. If he does find some money and his film sells, then the money changes direction until the next big thing comes along.
If a writer can get his idea heard, and it is a good one, He may find himself on the crest of a new wave of style. As writers, we all need to take that left turn and explore those little rabbit trails to see where they lead IF you are an 'outsider'. The insiders have to follow the trend or fall out of favor (what have you done lately?). This little opinion may be an over-simplification of a complex problem, but that's the way I see it.

That's a lot of it, Daddio, and you're right. The money end of it is driven by the money people.

But that's not the big problem I see among songwriters. The big problem is that people trying to break into the songwriting game focus on the game more than the songwriting.

Anyone trying to enter into the mainstream business phase of it before learning how to write is like the guy who has never gone fishing in his life, then goes to Bass Pro Shops and spends $25,000 on a boat, $5,000 on gear and $2,000 on the right looking clothes. He should have gone out and spent five bucks on some hooks, line and worms, tied the line to a stick, used a rock for a sinker, and went out and learned how to catch fish.

First, learn how to write a great song. Do that before tattooing "Mr. Songman" on your arm, recording a $1,500 demo, putting together an interactive website, and buying the fanciest cowboy outfit since Porter Wagoner. Instead of looking at the lifestyle you want, or the image you want for yourself, look at the songs that really move you. Think for more than a few minutes about why they move you. Analyze them. If you don't know how to analyze them, learn how. Before you even start writing, learn something ABOUT writing. Learn a little about meter. Learn something about devices. What's the difference between a metaphor and a simile. When would one be better to use than another. What Would Shakespeare Do. Who were the great songwriters? Why do the so-called "experts" think they are great. You can learn as much or more from experts with whom you disagree than from those with whom you agree. Why did I say "with whom" instead of "with who" or "who you agree with." When should I not say it like that?

Learn something about music. How many sharps are in the key of E? What is a key anyway? From what end of the horn does the music emerge? What are the "three chords." What are the do re mi's? Now some folks say they just don't have an "ear" or a "natural gift" for music. Most of them are just plainly too lazy to do the work it takes to learn, yet they want to be songwriters. If you're going to be a lyricist only, at least learn how to meter things, and be polite enough to give the musicians a little space here and there to put in their little notes.


And here's a thought. How about writing something interesting? How about something different, not something mundane and common. Take a common life and look at it in a unique way. What in your life do you rembember the most. Do you spend your days watching movies about people losing their boyfriend/girlfriend? Does that interest you? If not, why write about it? But if you can write about something interesting, memorable, uplifting, funny, truly sad etc. that includes someone losing their boyfriend/girlfriend, then there might be a reason.

And don't forget the trump card: feeling. Feeling. FEELING. If art makes people FEEL SOMETHING, that trumps all the bogus rules and regulations that songwriters are always looking for, yet always complain about when they find. Here's the rule to songwriting. WRITE A GOOD FREAKING SONG. If you can't do that, then learn how to instead of complaining that the "suits" have stacked the deck against you. The suits could not CARE LESS about you and DO NOT stack the deck against you. They stack the deck against people who can write incredibly good songs. First you have to get there, then you play the game with the suits. Until then it's all worthless chatter.

So take the money you were going to spend on some worthless tip sheet and buy John Braheny's book the Craft and Business of Songwriting and LEARN HOW TO WRITE.

Mike Dunbar,
Your comments are so thoughtful, we could fill all our FWSA newsletter columns with your post. LEARN HOW TO WRITE A GOOD FREAKING SONG!

Lately I have brought an eight track digital recorder (32 virtual tracks) to work, and in my spare time have been laying down tracks on a couple of songs and it has been humbling. The simple elegance of a perfect base line becomes evident after about the tenth attempt to lay it down with more complexity than necessary. My vocal really does sound better if I find the microphone "zone"
Precision of the beat is more important that I realized. Finding the frequency "space" for each instrument cuts down annoying clutter.

I come out of a "session" listening intently to the radio and hearing exactly what I have been unable to do. I think it is a requirement to be humbled if not completely humiliated, before you can understand what a great song or production is. The "stuff" of the song, the concept and feeling, have to be there.

That "stuff" may show up in a brand new writer as in the case of a teen age Tracy Chapman when she penned "Fast Car" or it may be honed over years of experience as in the case of veteran writer Jimmy Webb when he penned "The Highwayman". But it probably won't be evident without some genuine humility in a couple of middle aged newbees.

Here is the question to ask: What songs are "great" and can you articulate why they are great? If you really do understand why a song is great, you should be able to dissect it all the way from concept to production. For instance Roy Orbison released "Blue Bayou" in the middle of the "Nashville Sound" era and frankly the production sucked! You had to listen hard to find the beauty concealed there. The production ruined it. When Linda Ronstadt released her version years latter, she cut out all the crap and it was a beautiful song. So even a great song has to be realized technically and artistically. George Jones didn't want to record "that depressing piece of crap song" that eventually became "He stopped loving her today". Evey one who what to be good will be humbled- guaranteed. If you don't feel that, watch your wallet.

Ronstadt's Blue Bayou 1978: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QplmwFAuXiE&feature=fvwrel

Roy Orbison's original recording- still a great voice but cluttered up background- only reached 33 on charts: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dPBG86iQz4

I think this thread has turned for the better. Mike has hit the nail on the head.......write a great song...there are no short cuts. Joe has also added that there is more to a song than just words and melody. Production is high on the list of requirements and that in nowadays pop can actually be the song itself. Also the performance counts for much of a songs appeal. Few people I know can tackle ALL of these crafts with the required expertise.
That is why teamwork is important.....while someone can write a great song ie words and melody it really needs a team to transfer that into a proper recording. As for the song being a hit......you have to worry about all the other things first.

Roy Orbison's original recording- still a great voice but cluttered up background- only reached 33 on charts

While the production could be argued as 'cluttered', There are lots of factors that could have contributed to the '33' chart pos. What was it up against? Who were the artists and styles it was compared to? It's like the writer John Grisham hawking his books and nothing sold until low-and-behold one day he sells one. Then all those others that had been rejected got attention and were published. Lots of things have to line up on that cosmic pinpoint of time, style, theme, quality, production, lyric.
Hats off to Ronstadt producer for doing a song from a different gender and working it plus having the vision that it would work.