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Hard-Fi
by Gary E. Andrews - 06/19/26 06:43 PM
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 33
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 33 |
Grandpa’s Violin
The creak of a floorboard
A scent on the wind
Voices echoed in my mind,
Searching for something I’ll never find.
I miss you, I miss you.
I’m crying to the strains of Grandpa’s violin,
Notes of a forgotten song held within
Weathered face reflected in the moon
Crying to the strains of Grandpa’s violin.
I miss you, I miss you.
Hands were so gentle
So hard yet so kind
The summers whispered soon,
A tune hummed, slightly out of tune.
I miss you, I miss you.
The heat of the day
Relief in the shadows
Eyes so brightly blue
I’ll always remember you.
I miss you, I miss you.
Drinking from the saucer coz my cup has overflowed.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 10,330
Top 10 Poster
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Top 10 Poster
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 10,330 |
Very moving. Suggested structure:
Grandpa’s Violin
©2003 Tolkein
1.
The creak of a floorboard
A scent on the wind
Voices echoed in my mind,
Searching for something I’ll never find.
I miss you, I miss you.
Chorus:
I’m crying to the strains of Grandpa’s violin,
Notes of a forgotten song held within
Weathered face reflected in the moon
Crying to the strains of Grandpa’s violin.
I miss you, I miss you.)
2.
Hands were so gentle
So hard yet so kind
The summers whispered soon,
A tune (maybe melody instead) hummed, slightly out of tune.
I miss you, I miss you.
Chorus:
I’m crying to the strains of Grandpa’s violin,
Notes of a forgotten song held within
Weathered face reflected in the moon
Crying to the strains of Grandpa’s violin.
I miss you, I miss you.
Bridge:
The heat of the day
Relief in the shadows
Eyes so brightly blue
I’ll always remember you.
(Maybe omit these) I miss you, I miss you.
Chorus:
I’m crying to the strains of Grandpa’s violin,
Notes of a forgotten song held within
Weathered face reflected in the moon
Crying to the strains of Grandpa’s violin.
I miss you, I miss you.
Don't forget to put Title of song © Year and your name.
JeanB
[This message has been edited by JeanB (edited 03-24-2003).]
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 33
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 33 |
Thanks JeanB, i'm glad you liked it. it's not really the style i normally write but i thought i'd try something new and it's on a subject that is close to my heart. Thing is, no one 'cept you that i've shown really understand it . . . hence the "understanding lyrics" topic. i'll take ur advice on the layout, and i'll be working on it. thanks again
~Tolkien
------------------
Drinking from the saucer coz my cup has overflowed.
Drinking from the saucer coz my cup has overflowed.
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,824
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,824 |
Tolkein, I totally agree with Jean.
Great piece....very moving. Just fix up your structure and you're done!!
Best,
Cindy
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 33
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 33 |
Thanks Cindy, i'm glad u liked it. Thanks for reading and commenting.
No nits! well thats a first for my songs, lol
~Tolkien
Drinking from the saucer coz my cup has overflowed.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 33
Casual Observer
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OP
Casual Observer
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 33 |
What genre do you suggest for this song, btw? i'm not sure . . .
------------------
Drinking from the saucer coz my cup has overflowed.
Drinking from the saucer coz my cup has overflowed.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4
Casual Observer
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Casual Observer
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4 |
I love your song and I would think a "folk style" with some violins (fiddles) in background would do the song good justice. What a nice tribute, and you've had some good help from the great writers on this board. Dixie
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