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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Hey -- Here's another in my ongoing series, documenting "violence in school." This true incident happened, yet again, in my state of Maryland. I'm so proud. When this seven-year-old realized that his Pop-Tart looked like a gun, there were conflicting reports about what happened next. Some reports say he pointed the Pop-Tart at someone and said "pow", some reports say he pointed it toward the ceiling, others say he never pointed the Pop-Tart at all. It was a strawberry Pop-Tart, which is probably pertinent to the story, but I couldn't figure out how to fit if in here.-- Lisa CHEW, CHEW, BOOM, BOOM (REWRITE) Thanks, John V., for your changes to verses one and two! And to Stan, again, for his change to the second chorus! Munching on a Pop-Tart In his second grade room Eating 'round the edges Chomping on it tasted good He started with a mountain 'Cause climbing them looks fun Turns out he broke the rules When he nibbled out a gun CHORUS Chew, Chew Boom Boom Who Knew A boy could chew his way to trouble Without ever blowing, one small bubble Chew, Chew Boom, Boom Who Knew A Boy Could Chew His way to trouble Didn't swallow evidence Had no food permit Now he can't conceal His final guilty verdict BRIDGE Kid got suspended Teacher was commended CHORUS Chew, Chew Boom Boom Who Knew A boy could chew his way to trouble If he said 'BANG' it could be-double** Chew, Chew Boom, Boom Who Knew A Boy Could Chew His way to trouble (c) 2013, Lisa Gundling ORIGINAL VERSION Chew, Chew Boom, Boom He was munching on a Pop-Tart In his second grade room Eating 'round the edges Chomping toward his doom He tried to make a mountain Looked more like a gun Turns out he broke the rules Pastries can't be fun CHORUS Chew, Chew Boom Boom Who Knew A boy could chew his way to trouble Without ever blowing, one small bubble Chew, Chew Boom, Boom Who Knew A Boy Could Chew His way to trouble Didn't swallow evidence Had no food permit Now he can't conceal His final guilty verdict BRIDGE Kid got suspended Teacher was commended CHORUS Chew, Chew Boom Boom Who Knew A boy could chew his way to trouble If he said 'BANG' it could be-double** Chew, Chew Boom, Boom Who Knew A Boy Could Chew His way to trouble (c) 2013, Lisa Gundling **Thanks for that great line, Stan! ![[Linked Image]](http://i1090.photobucket.com/albums/i372/lgundling/MMnCeT_zps6e815b8a.jpeg)
Last edited by Lisa Gundling; 03/13/13 02:19 PM.
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Could be a pop classic Lisa lol.Words like strawberry fools,just deserts come to mind.More madness,the worlds going potty.Hope it reaches the right ears/eyes
Travis
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde
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Hey Travis -- Just desserts -- that's good! I'm going to think about that one! LOL!
I also left out my favorite part of the story:
The school sent home a letter with every student informing parents that: "A student used food to make an inappropriate gesture."
Thanks for your visit!
Lisa
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And so the insanity continues, love the tasty satire in this one.
when will it ever end??? nicely done as always Lisa. hey and thanks for the tip on curling irons, the only iron I ever curled was on dumbbells...which is me I guess~~LOL~MFB III
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LISA--
THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, THEY'LL BE READING KIDS MINDS AND TAPING CONVERSATIONS--THE BIG BROTHER EFFECT!
COMMON SENSE USED TO RULE, NOW IT'S NOT COMMON ANYMORE!
WE HAVE TO PROTECT THE KIDS, BUT IN SMART KINDA WAY--WITH OLD SCHOOL VALUES WITH RESPECT AND LATITUDE!
KEEP WRITING THE GOOD IDEAS--
Mackie
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A gun that shoots strawberry kisses!What's the deal with the schools up there with all this child play?A good write Lisa,keep 'em comin'!Mike
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HiDee Mz M-D!
How can those Ignoramuses call themselves "Educators"????
Kids ALWAYS play with their food!!! That's what Alphabet Soup was invented FOR!!!
Rules..Rules..Rules.
Waal, SOON the kid CAN carry a 2-inch-plus Pocket Knife on a Plane...(So sayeth the Newscaster last evening) so Maybe Johnnie can nibble his PB&J in the shape of an A-Bomb and be left-alone pretty soon, eh? ;-)>
Great Write...Loved the "Pastries can't be fun" Line!
I'll sug "If he said 'BANG' it could Be-Double" in place of the "bubble" Line in CH 2. KOS--
Good Luck with a Good'n'...
Best Wishes & Big Hugs,
Stan
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Hey MFB,
Yes, the insanity continues! And hey -- judging from the curls in your photo, it looks like you don't need a curling iron!
Thanks for stopping by!
Lisa
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Hey Mackie,
I'm sure that mind-reading technology isn't far behind, though it will, of course, be completely flawed! Also, there is a school in Pennsylvania that gave kids computers. Turns out that they installed cameras in them, and they were watching the kids, at home, when their computers were turned on!
Thanks for chiming in here!
Lisa
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I do hope those teachers can glow in having done their duty and are not too upset they are seen as idiots for doing it.
Heaven forbid discretion, because it could all end up being your fault!
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Hey Michael,
The school system in my state is absolutely nuts, in my opinion! It's no coincidence that these incidents keep happening here! I like the image of the strawberry kisses -- reminds me of a Tom & Jerry cartoon!
Thanks!
Lisa
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Hey Stan,
Thanks for that great line for chorus 2 -- it's in there now!
You're right about alphabet soup! And then there are Teddy Grahams and Gummy Bears... they're being eaten....should the kids get in trouble for eating bears?!
Thanks for your help!
Lisa
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Hey John,
Yes, interesting thoughts there! I do wonder what in the world the teachers are thinking they're doing! My thought is that they're irritated with the child to begin with, for whatever reason, and when they see an opportunity to get the child in trouble...they take it and run!
Thanks for visiting during your busy tax season!
Lisa
P.S. I found a photo of the Pop Tart and posted it under the song. Also, I discovered that the other children in the class were offered counseling if they were traumatized by the sight of the Pop Tart!
Last edited by Lisa Gundling; 03/11/13 11:28 AM.
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Just chew chewing through the boom booming and came up with a few slight changes in V1 and 2,,,for your nibbling pleasure.
Munching on a Pop-Tart
In his second grade room
Eating 'round the edges
Chomping on it tasted good
He started with a mountain
'Cause climbing them looks fun
Turns out he broke the rules
When he nibbled out a gun
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Hi John,
I think that your two verses are much smoother and I've used them all in a rewrite! I do miss the "pastries can't be fun" line, but maybe I can fit it into a bridge or something...
Too bad I didn't have your changes the other day when I sent the lyric to a Maryland senator who's trying valiantly to legislate against stupidity of this magnitude! I just sent it to him for giggles. I don't know how successful he's going to be with his legislation, though. If the legislation says that Pop Tart guns are acceptable, then some poor kid will be suspended for thinking about a croissant gun!
Thanks for your great changes!
Lisa
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The mind boggle Lisa.
Very well done and some improvements ofered and used wisly as well.
If you rotae it 180% it makes a real good boot (instead).
God Bless Roy and Helen.
'You Have To Kiss A Lot Of Frogs To Find A Prince'
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Thanks, Roy! And I agree that the changes that John and Stan gave me were great! That's funny about the boot! But, still, he'd be in trouble became maybe he'd use the boot to go "stomp stomp" and then he'd be in trouble...we'd have "Chew, Chew, Stomp, Stomp" then.....LOL! -- Lisa
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