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by Fdemetrio - 04/25/24 01:36 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/24/24 10:25 AM
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by Sunset Poet - 04/24/24 08:09 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/23/24 10:08 AM
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by Fdemetrio - 04/22/24 11:04 AM
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by Rob B. - 04/21/24 08:40 PM
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Joined: Mar 2008
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OP
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Last effort of 2014. Locked myself in my music room until I finished this one today. I'm sure once I step away from it for a bit there will be things I want to change but seeing most of this was done today, I thought it has a good start... https://soundcloud.com/taylor-j-thomas/mystery-of-mineMystery Of Mine She lives down by the water A child of the sea Posidon's restless daughter The ocean sets her free Chorus: She walks along the shores alone Watches watches wave roll down the time Forever she'll remain... A mystery of mine She loves the warmth the sunshine brings As wind blows through her hair The water hits the sand and sings It's song on salty air Chorus: She walks along the shores alone Watches watches waves roll down the time Forever she'll remain... A mystery of mine She smiles and walks on by me Can't help but wonder why No one ever caught those eyes As blue as southern skies Chorus: She walks along the shores alone Watches watches waves roll down the time Forever she'll remain... A mystery of mine
Last edited by Tom W.; 12/29/14 09:29 PM.
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Joined: Jan 2005
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What a fantastic song to end the year Tom.I like the story and the melody fit it perfectly.Mike
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Michael,
Thanks for taking a listen. I appreciate the kind words. I had a melody playing in my head before I picked up my guitar. This wasn't it. Lol! Can't even remember what I thought this was going to sound like.
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Calvin,
Thanks for stopping by!
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Tom,
Very nicely done..... lots of air ... and I like the unhurried pace of your story. Excellent vocals...and acoustic spread in the mix.
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Joined: May 2010
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Tom,
Loved this, great write and the little echo in the chorus like a wave....great melody, loved the listen!!
Tammy
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Tom.
Great song. My favourite of yours.
One sugg phrasing wise:
The water hits the sand ..
and sings it's song on salty air.
One other sugg is to sort out the first line backing vocal in the chorus which is to my ears unintelligible.
UOL.
All the best with it.
Vic
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Joined: Nov 2006
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Nice job, Tom. I really liked this. I agree with Vic on that backing vocal. Kind of a misfit as it is. Love the changes in the lyrics over what is written.
Rick
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Hi Tom,
BEAUTIFUL SONG!!!
Lisa
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Joined: Mar 2014
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Iggy, thanks for taking time to listen and comment!
Tammy, thank you! Actually was trying for that kind of effect. Glad you liked it!
Hey Vic, thanks for your time! Yeah, I tried something a little different. It still might work cleaned up a bit but we'll see. I'll let it mellow in my head for a bit and make some needed revisions. Thanks again!
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Lisa and Pat, thanks for listening. Your comments are appreciated!
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Tom,
What beautiful lyrics that take one to this circumstance or situation. I really like this song and think you have potential here.
I do think you can improve this song by injecting your chorus with a little more lift however. If I wasn't reading the lyrics, I may not know for sure that the chorus had arrived. Having said this, don't misunderstand me, as all songs aren't "strongly chorus driven." But I'd look for a music pause/snare hit/ or something to enhance the chorus launching. I'd also experiment with using two verses prior to the chorus since they are shorter--this would IMO, set your story better and also allow the chorus to have more "build." There's a trend with getting the chorus in quicker with songs today, which I agree with in general, but some songs IMO, still need to have time to build before hitting the chorus, especially if it's not a chorus driven song, as you then can "spend" your lyrics a bit early.
Just a sug/thought for you to consider. I'm impressed here, this is a beautiful song mate!
steady-eddie.
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Joined: Jul 2011
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Love the sound, Tom....beautiful song.
Very listenable. There's always a sense of peace in your music that I really enjoy!
Good stuff!
-T
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Eddy, as alway, you have given a very insightful critique. Thank you for your suggestions. This is actually why I like posting songs here! I will certainly take all you said to heart as this song further develops. Thanks again!
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Tom, thanks for taking a listen! Always good to hear from your!
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Tom,
A good write. Cool song.
Nice instrumentation. The subtle organ worked very well against the guitar. A very nice, comfortable, "warm" vocal. Harmonies are nice, too. (Thought you did not need the echo lines).
A very good listen.
floyd
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Joined: Nov 2014
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Hi TOm,
This is really pretty. Very nice images you present as it's flowing. Enjoyed!
Peggy
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