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Some of you may remember this one. I originally wrote and posted it almost a year ago. I've now pulled it off the shelf and am trying to finalize it. I know it's long -- the story commands it (not thinking 'commercial'). The main criticism by some at the time was concerning how the mansion came to be the way it did. Some critics felt that it wasn't believable, that some kind of explanation was necessary -- while others felt it was fine, that in a song, the listener can just accept it. Well, I'm taking a stab at trying to satisfy the former, and have written an intro (that wasn't there before) and am trying to see if it works. I personally feel that the way the intro is presented in spoken form with a quiet variation of the chorus music, an interesting contrast is created. Is the intro needed at all, or if it is, is how I've handled it appropriate? I don't know for sure and would appreciate feedback. There was also the opinion by some in the original version, that the verses seemed a bit long with the music (original posted music file). To try and deal with that I've picked up the tempo somewhat -- but I'll worry about re-recording later. Finally, I decided that the Victoria's Secret/James Bond references stay -- despite that a couple of critics found that it 'cheapened' the story. In a full production, I hear a lot of sax. Anyhow, all comments welcome to help me finish this one. Thanks.

MASQUERADE MANSION (6:10)
Copyright 2001, Tom Guertin All Rights Reserved

(Intro – Spoken to very light chorus music)
Moonlight, casts a spell over Masquerade Mansion
Enchanted home of a rich man
Long since laid to rest
In life, he'd forsaken the love of his only companion
To atone, his spirit hosts galas
Saves the souls of invited guests

Slight pause, then brief verse music intro with lead sax

(Verse)
Tonight, she’s a 24-carat gold-digger
Blessed with natural beauty
A coquette dressed to kill
Feels right, lost inside her vanity mirror
Rides a limousine service
To the house on the hill

(Build)
But Victoria’s anguish
Lies deep in her heart
Behind her outer strength
A china doll longing for a savior

(Chorus)
She hides behind her disguise at Masquerade Mansion
Believes that riches will heal the pain of her youth
The mystical force that resides at Masquerade Mansion
Allows guests to wear a facade but must face their truth

(Verse)
Tonight, he’s a big-game fortune hunter
A natural charmer
So suave and debonair
Spotlight, nobody steals his thunder
Drives a rented Mercedes
To the lavish affair

(Build)
With Victoria’s secret
James shares a bond
Behind his outer strength
A broken man longing for a savior

(Chorus)
He hides behind his disguise at Masquerade Mansion
Believes that riches will heal the pain of his youth
The mystical force that resides at Masquerade Mansion
Allows guests to wear a facade but must face their truth

(Verse)
The Grand Hall hosts a banquet like no other
Elaborate costumes
Swing to sounds of big band (music given a brief big-band sound)
Gold-digger turns to see fortune hunter
Walk across the room
And reach for her hand

(Build)
Victoria stands bewildered
As she sees beyond his mask
Drawn to a kindred spirit
And feels no danger

(Build)
James kneels down before her
Kisses the back of her hand
Embraces a kindred spirit
And not a stranger

(Chorus)
Love conquers disguise with the magic of Masquerade Mansion
Love heals the pain of its patrons wronged in their youth
Loneliness dies with the magic of Masquerade Mansion
Guests leave with the love of their life and a deal with the truth

(Bridge)
James and Victoria confide their sadness
With a trust that was heaven-sent
Both abandoned by impoverished parents
They tried to hide behind fancy dress...
Tried to buy happiness...
But always bought a whole lot less...

(Chorus)
They conquered disguise with the magic of Masquerade Mansion
Healed the pain and the scars derived in their youth
Their loneliness died with the magic of Masquerade Mansion
They leave with the love of their life and a deal with the truth

(Tag)
Leave with the love of their life and a deal with the truth


[This message has been edited by Tom Guertin (edited 12-01-2001).]

I think I remember this Tom, at least when you mention Victoria's Secret and James Bond.

I think this is a really good story, and length be d$#%^md if you need it to fully express the story. Here I agree, though I suppose everything can be condensed.

I am somewhat lukewarm about the chorus though, but I think the primary sinner is the last line.

maybe

pierces masks and veils and uncovers the truth

all in all great story and I know your music will do this justice.

Best to Louise!

Hi Tom!
I liked this when I first saw it and still do. I thought Victoria/James was brilliant, so I'm glad you didnt take it out.
When I listened to it the first time I didnt even think about it being 6 minutes long.

The intro looks very interesting (for some strange reason, I'm hearing Vincent Price do the intro LOL)
I cant wait to hear the full production.
Take Care,
Ria

------------------
http://angelfire.lycos.com/amiga/riassonglyrics

Hi Tom!

Very Entertaining...yet my Skeptic's Mind
WONDERS if TWO "Gold-Diggers"ll ever REALLY Be HAPPY with Each Other...

For me, that's where Fantasy Clashes with Reality...

Enjoyable Read, However!

Good Luck with it, Amigo!
Big Guy-Hugs,
Stan

Hi Tom,
I remember this one and I recall liking it for the most part. Here is my take. I'll comment as I read it for the next first time!

MASQUERADE
*Intrigueing title!

Intro
*I love this! But, personally I think it would work best sung/sanged what the heck!
Also, I modified it a tad for what I wanted to hear. Toss if you wish!

Moonlight is cast over Masquerade Mansion
Enchanted home of a Duke long since laid to rest
In life he forsakened the love of companions
Now his spirit throws parties For invited guests

v1
*The broken sentences causes me to pause and think about what is being said. Especially this line:

((Feels right, lost inside her vanity mirror
Rides a limousine service)) I think you might want to add "as she" rides or something.

Just had time for a quickie! May try back later!
Good luck Tom!

RB

Thanks to all. Some more food for thought -- that's great. John, I was also wondering if I phrased my intent properly in the last line of the chorus. I'll be thinking about that one.

No one (so far) seems to think that the intro *doesn't* work, so I guess the set-up isn't corny and is seen to *work*. S'pose I'll keep it, ('tho it WILL be spoken, Ron -- but thanks for your thoughts).

Ria, the Vincent Price thought is kinda cool. I can hear that kind of effect. If anyone caught the close-up of Bob Dylan while performing via satellite at the Academy Awards??? -- he looked remarkably like VP. It was scary and maybe he could do my intro -- naw!!!

Stanley, you're probably right that in reality two gold-diggers won't work out, but in my *fantasy song*, they were never *really* good at being gold-diggers in the first place. They were made for each other.

Thanks again.

Tom

Hi Tom,

Glad to see you dusting one of my favorites off the shelf. Hope you are working on the music for it.

Whoops, quick sidetrack here (regarding "Guilt"... a female artist just came to mind, so before I forget... "Nelly Furtado".)

Back to Masquerade Mansion. I remember when I read this, it had an erie "Hotel California" feel to it and that's one of my all time favorite songs, so that's a good thing. I really like the idea of a spoken intro, though I'm not sure how that would play on the radio. As an album (cd) cut, it would be outstanding, though and I believe it is a bit naked without it. I can almost hear it also. Love also that you put in a sax, it's my favorite instrument, besides the drum.

The character names are brilliant and I love it. As far as gold diggers not making a good pair, I say, "birds of a feather..." and see them hitting it off, finding out what life is REALLY about and living happily ever after... Did I ever mention, I'm just a hopeless romantic at heart?

Anyway, I was really pumped to find this lyric on the board and hope you'll let me know when the music is available!!

Tink

[This message has been edited by TINK (edited 12-04-2001).]

Hello Tom! Well I'll go with the crowd here. I like this one and like the idea as a whole. The intro seems fitting for an all out production. This is for sure an album (or should I say cd) cut. But I wouldn't let the length interfere with what you are trying to create. Nice job!


David