You write and perform well. FJ has already pointed out the "prime line" so I don't need to go over it again.

I once did a cover of one of Joe Wrabek's critter songs not long ago and nearly died from singing it 'cause it was seven minutes long. (Armadillo on the Interstate) I did a shorter version for his album and folks tend to stay awake longer, I'm told... LOL! The worst part was trying to remember the lyrics. Thank God for pen and paper!

I hope you know (if you plan to "pitch" this song... the Publishers and Producers won't "reel it in" due to the five minute rule.) (The exception here... is whether or not you have entered the hallowed halls of genre fame and stardom.) They have to pay a higher rate for "long songs" and usually prefer to pass for economic reasons.

Don't let any of this discourage you. I get the idea you are doing what you like... the way you want it done... and that certainly rates my admiration. Best of luck with your music.

Much talent, my friend.

Dave