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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 3,072
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 3,072 |
Hi smajor, This is the first of yours I' ve had the chance to read. First, welcome to JPF's lyric board. I don't know if you' re really a guitar player, but I'm a Strat guy myself, lol. Chevy vs Ford, huh? Don't get me wrong though, I love a good Paul. Always have! Now that I've ran my mouth I'll get to your lyric.  In line 2 of verse one how about "I showed 'em my Bad Axe, puked twice,". Bad axe sounds a lot like bad ass without saying as much. A little play on words. In line 3 of verse two maybe tighten that up by saying, "and I stung 'em over and again". In your bridge I would drop the "to him" at the end of line one. It reads smoother without it, and really isn't needed. Is this metal? Just wondering about the genre. Great job if so! David
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