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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490
Top 20 Poster
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Top 20 Poster
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 8,490 |
Hi Stan,
Cool write -- I really like the gritty feel!
One thing -- in the first verse, the "I's better than them" set me up to think that the grammar would be slang throughout. However, that wasn't the case. Some cursing occurred, but that still seemed unrelated to the slang grammar. I thought maybe change that one line, or add more slang grammar throughout. Just a thought!
Lisa
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