I couldn't help thinking about playing a mean pinball when I read the title.

I agree with the others who said that it seemed a bit rushed and the vocal is drowning in 'verb and delay. I would also focus on pronouncing the words as we would say them in conversation with the accent on the appropriate syllable. It sticks out like a sore thumb when you mispronounce a word to make it fit the beat or rhyme. If it is impossible to pronounce it properly in the context of the song, the song needs a rewrite IMHO.

Colin

I try to critique as if you mean business.....

http://colinwardmusic.com/

http://rosewoodcreekband.com/