Dee, you do such a good job of collaborating, I enjoyed this, but REALLY enjoyed girl with dark sunglasses that came in after that. I see Carol wrote that with you too.

My sincere honest opinion is you need to tighten up the lyrics to both songs. Her ideas paved the way for your music, but now that you have the music, I would work together on the details of the lyrics.

She's raw lyrically, which everybody starts that way. I think the sunglasses song could be a hit if the lyrics really nailed the sunglasses hook. As is it's a bit plain jane, but could be tweaked.

You'd be helping her evolve as a writer by working it out as opposed to just adding melody and music, which is really good either way

Just an honest suggestion

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 05/26/20 10:53 PM.