Hey Travis, love alot of this...

Question: Why the different Rhyme scheme in verse 1 with all 4 lines Rhyming versus VS 2 & 3 which alternate?

Didn't like the Arms "wound" at all line. Just doesn't seem to fit the mood

LEANNS suggestion to me is a big improvement

"With our arms 'round each other so tight"

I would look at her suggestion and also maybe look at your vs 1 Rhyme scheme to match 2 & 3


Steve Altonian---"I'll just do my best & let God do the rest"

http://www.stevealtonian.com