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Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 844 Likes: 1
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 844 Likes: 1 |
Hey Travis, love alot of this...
Question: Why the different Rhyme scheme in verse 1 with all 4 lines Rhyming versus VS 2 & 3 which alternate?
Didn't like the Arms "wound" at all line. Just doesn't seem to fit the mood
LEANNS suggestion to me is a big improvement
"With our arms 'round each other so tight"
I would look at her suggestion and also maybe look at your vs 1 Rhyme scheme to match 2 & 3
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"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
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