I Hate Chip Gaines ©2025 Robert George


We were havin’ supper
Watchin’ Fixer Upper
In our old redneck doublewide
Chip n Joanna
Were in Loo-Zee-Anna
Workin’ on a mansion on the oceanside

My wife thought the bank’d give us a deal
And we could give this place some curb appeal
O you can buy saws n drills
But you can’t buy skills
Ev’rythng’s outta plumb
I’ve never felt so dumb
One thang I’ve learned
From the sweat n debt n sunburn
I hate Chip Gaines


She said she’d been itchin’
To renovate our kitchen
And turn our bedroom into a boudoir
Our new Jacuzzi
Was gonna be a doozy
Till I cut the septic line with a power saw

Now our old bedroom
Smells worse’n her French perfume

My wife said the bank’d give us a deal
We could give this place some curb appeal
O you can buy saws n drills
But you can’t buy skills
Ev’rythng’s outta plumb
I’ve never felt so dumb
One thang I’ve learned
From the sweat n debt n sunburn
I hate Chip Gaines
I hate Chip Gaines


We’ll be dead ‘fore we pay off the loan
On our forever home

My wife thought the bank’d give us a deal
We could give this place some curb appeal
O you can buy saws n drills
But you can’t buy skills
Ev’rythng’s outta plumb
I’ve never felt so dumb
One thang I’ve learned
From the sweat n debt n sunburn
I hate Chip Gaines
I hate Chip Gaines

I hate Chip Gaines
I hate Chip Gaines


I don’t mean t’ be rude
I’m just kiddin, dude…













No, seriously
I hate Chip Gaines

Last edited by couchgrouch; 02/11/25 08:36 PM.

Nashville demos etc:

https://www.soundclick.com/bands3/default.cfm?bandID=431939

other demos:

https://soundcloud.com/wabash-cannibal

Amazon Kindle books by Robert George you may enjoy:

1) Americana

2) Teenage Graceland

3) The Will to Be

4) Fort Mystery

5) Wheel Sea

6) My One True Love