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HER TOWN
by Fdemetrio - 05/14/26 10:26 AM
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....
by bennash - 05/14/26 10:03 AM
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....
by Fdemetrio - 05/13/26 06:53 PM
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girli
by Gary E. Andrews - 05/12/26 06:47 PM
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Florida
by bennash - 05/11/26 09:55 PM
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Pictures
by John Voorpostel - 05/11/26 06:18 PM
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,371 Likes: 25
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,371 Likes: 25 |
ok, I like the premise of "might be my home, but it's her town".... I wanted to hear more about what is the metaphor about?
That third verse(bridge?) had so my rhymes in it... might be a little much. (less is more)
I don't mind a song being wordy, but each line has to have a reason to be there instead of just repeating the same feeling.
You have to either make the listener care about who you're talking about, or be able to put themselves in the song.
Make sense?
p.s. is that "your" melody?
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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1 member likes this:
ddreuter |
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