ok, I like the premise of "might be my home, but it's her town".... I wanted to hear more about what is the metaphor about?

That third verse(bridge?) had so my rhymes in it... might be a little much. (less is more)

I don't mind a song being wordy, but each line has to have a reason to be there instead of just repeating the same feeling.

You have to either make the listener care about who you're talking about, or be able to put themselves in the song.

Make sense?

p.s. is that "your" melody?


"It Mattered to THAT One"