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Pictures
by Fdemetrio - 05/10/26 11:39 PM
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Florida
by Rob B. - 05/10/26 10:03 PM
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Boxed In
by Fdemetrio - 05/10/26 09:50 PM
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Brian...
by Fdemetrio - 05/10/26 09:22 PM
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Max Ceddo
by Gary E. Andrews - 05/09/26 12:54 PM
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Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 268
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 268 |
I agree that ading a chorus might make it more song-like. I also recognize that sometimes things just gotta come out like you feel 'em.
I'd flip "unfurrowed" and "fallow" in the first line, just to maintian the rhyme pattern.
Nice write, and i expect...catharsis?
Eddie
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