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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,430
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 4,430 |
This one's okay. It seems like it could be more clever, but Lord knows how. The Venus line is good, as are the no-clothes and nice-butt lines, but the rest of the choruses are kinda weak. And that last verse seems like a poor excuse to get back to the first chorus. Why would he recite the same words again, this time as a poem? Even a dumb hick would realize he shouldn't make the same mistake twice. Is he so dumb that he doesn't know that, and that's part of the joke? I dunno. Anyway, thanks for the fitfully fun read.
Anthony
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