This was on Sirius, so thankfully the FCC was nowhere to be seen.

Here are the lyrics:


Pet Problem


Hello to all the cats and dogs
That know what I’m rappin’about
There’s something goin’ on that needs to be stopped
And I hope this song can help
There’s type of love that just ain’t right
That you hope that you never see
Between a gay and a gerbil or a man with a turtle
Or a lady with a manatee
Let me explain about the other day
When I went on the internet
I saw something that was just not right
And it’s something that I’ll never forget
It was a lady and a zebra getting funky by the pool
And she certainly earned her stripes
But the end result was a great big mess
And now I can’t sleep at night

So,
Please don’t [naughty word removed] your pets
No matter how lonely you get
Pull back your cock
Take your hand off spot
It’s something that you’re gonna regret X2

Now I don’t know what could be considered
Classified as pet supplies
But I don’t think
that they’re lingerie, rubbers or a bottle of Spanish fly
Now what could lead to that temptation
Is anybody’s guess
But they say Dalmatians are really good lovers
And they also have eight breasts
Repulsive, nasty, sick and twisted
Are the words that come to mind
Because man’s best friend has a dirty rear end
So please don’t waste your time
I’d like to take a moment and remember back
When a dog was considered a pet
But now some people watching Lassie get wet
Or they end up pitchin a tent

So,
Please don’t [naughty word removed] your pets
No matter how lonely you get
Pull back your cock
Take your hand off spot
It’s something that you’re gonna regret X2

It’s been a long time since you been on a date
You been single for a couple of years
But it’s still no reason to diddle a sheep
After a couple of beers
Some people think it’s funny makin’ love to a bunny
It’s a task that is probably hard
You’re a real sick puppy on a Saturday night
Chasin’ rabbits all over your yard
Then one day your friends catch you watchin’
Nature videos on TV
But what they don’t know is that you watch them
For help in hand release
Get help before you end up getting
Mauled by a grizzly bear
Because bears don’t like it when you tickle their balls
And you whisper bullshit in their ear


So,
Please don’t [naughty word removed] your pets
No matter how lonely you get
Pull back your cock
Take your hand off spot
It’s something that you’re gonna regret X2


More El Privates music:
http://www.itunes.com/elprivates
http://www.cdbaby.com/elprivates
http://www.amazon.com