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SHINE
by Rob B. - 08/20/26 05:03 AM
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 2,448
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 2,448 |
Michele, This is nice, the chorus is quite catchy good job it's well produced very good singer The main issue I have with the song is the story which is: you left me shattered my heart i'm trying to get over it If I were writing to this title I would have made the singer look better, gone with a girl power theme you were a jerk so i dumped you you're begging for me to take you back that's never going to happen GET OVER IT the lyric spends a lot of space on jig saw puzzle references I think it would be better to show actual specific images from the relationship like "She Can't Be Really gone" http://www.romantic-lyrics.com/lc46.shtmlhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VC8Kg1B5lMMy lyric writing tips might be helpful to you: http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/537816+ read each one + compare your lyric to what the tip suggests + use my tips like a checklist + Identify parts of your song that could benefit from a rewrite wish you the best with your songwriting Ande
Ande Rasmus sen
Ande R a s m u s s e n@aol.com
Ande R a s m u s s e n.com
SongRamp.com/ande
MySpace.com/anders
Texas Grammy Gov 06-08
grammy.com/Texas
Editor Of "Inspirations for Songwriters"
SongWriterBlog.com
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