Michele,

This is nice, the chorus is quite catchy
good job
it's well produced
very good singer

The main issue I have with the song is the story which is:

you left me
shattered my heart
i'm trying to get over it

If I were writing to this title I would have made the singer look better, gone with a girl power theme

you were a jerk so i dumped you
you're begging for me to take you back
that's never going to happen
GET OVER IT

the lyric spends a lot of space on jig saw puzzle references
I think it would be better to show actual specific images from the relationship
like "She Can't Be Really gone"
http://www.romantic-lyrics.com/lc46.shtml
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VC8Kg1B5lM

My lyric writing tips might be helpful to you:
http://www.jpfolks.com/forum/ubbthreads.php/ubb/showflat/Number/537816
+ read each one
+ compare your lyric to what the tip suggests
+ use my tips like a checklist
+ Identify parts of your song that could benefit from a rewrite

wish you the best with your songwriting

Ande


Ande Rasmus sen
Ande R a s m u s s e n@aol.com
Ande R a s m u s s e n.com
SongRamp.com/ande
MySpace.com/anders

Texas Grammy Gov 06-08
grammy.com/Texas

Editor Of "Inspirations for Songwriters"
SongWriterBlog.com
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