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Bayside
by Gary E. Andrews - 10/19/26 09:48 PM
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386 |
Hey Mag, COOL hook....and a very poignant image to describe this little girl.  While you've presented some compelling details and I like where I think you're headed, I feel there are some contextual pieces missing. For instance, how did he come upon this girl? Both literally and figuratively, what brought him here? What's he going to do with her (I'm not suggesting anything insidious...just that technically, from your lyrics, he could simply be looking at a photograph of a child he might want to sponsor, and show his love that way....)? You did say you were going to work on this a bit more, so I look forward to seeing where you take it. With a hook this good, you're already well on your way to heading in the right direction.... Good luck!! Beth
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