Hiya, late chiming in here --

It looks like the rewrite process is going really well! I like your first rewrite, Ricky, and Geneva's is good too. It'll get there.

In the first draft at the top, it was sort of unclear that the abuser was not the actual speaker (that was my first thought) but in the revisions this is all cleared up.

Also Queen had a hit with "Spread Your Wings" which went "spread your wings and fly away" in the chorus .... so it will be a good move to change that line so it's not exactly the same. smile

But - again - the rewrite took care of that looks like --

Sad situation and I hope it turns out all right in the end for her.

Glad he's in jail. At least.

Linda