Hi Mackie,

I've been reviewing your suggestions and editing!

First, I should say that this was written about my son, which is why I'm laboring over it. I wasn't going to mention that it was my son because if he reads it one day, I wouldn't want him to be embarrassed. But then I thought -- what's a mother for if she can't embarrass her son?! ho ho!

I love what you did with most of verse 1, except I was trying to say that I thought that he was going to be carefree, but he's definitely not at all. Thus, I used most of your changes with changes of my own there.

In verse 2 -- I see how you've made it so much stronger, but I want every word to be exactly what I'd say, so I still have to ponder how to make it stronger and get the wording to feel right to me.

For the chorus, I see how your change made it stronger, but again I want it to be something I'd say to him, so I made a big change to it, using your "into" to replace "a child of."

I'm going to keep your "cameo" change, all of your changes in verse 3 and your change in the eskimo bridge. I especially love the cameo change because calling him my Romeo was bothering me a bit. It's fine because he's young and I can think of him affectionately as a little romeo, but once he's older -- "cameo" is perfect. I also like "cameo" because there are a lot of mother/child cameo scenes.

Again, thank you very much for your help with this! Below is the new version with the changes.

Thanks!!
Lisa

You're a Thinker (REVISED)

You're not what I expected at all
Thought you'd be laid back and carefree
Accepting life where the chips may fall
Rolling through punches, letting it be

(need to revise still)
It's clear you're made of a richer, deeper hue
Full of serious is what you've grown to be
Since I've come to know the depths of you
In your innocent eyes I now can see

CHORUS
You're a thinker
Into philosophy, theology and prose
Each day I'm awed
By how your wisdom grows

You're a thinker
Like the one Auguste Rodin once had in mind
When he cast that great bronze of a man
Who still ponders the fate of humankind

BRIDGE
Though as Juliet said of her rose Romeo
By any other name you'd smell as sweet
Like that, I love you so, in our cameo

At other times I see brilliant reflections
You send my imagination with each one
Unleashing my strongest affections
Lighting my way as you orbit the sun

CHORUS
You're a thinker
Into philosophy, theology and prose
Each day I'm awed
By how your wisdom grows

You're a thinker
Like the one Rodin had in mind
When he cast that great bronze of a man
Who still ponders the fate of humankind

BRIDGE
Though as Paulsen writes of the wise Eskimo
We each have to live our very own song
Like that, I love you so, sweet Eskimo

(c) 2011 Lisa Gundling