Hey Steven,
I liked the message and loved the music! I believe it would pack more punch, though, if you could prune it down to at least the 4 minute mark...and it would be great if you could introduce the title somewhere around the 1 minute mark.

Other comments below, keep or sweep smile

It was raining when I came in
the diner
And they Waitress said it might turn to snow


I usually start with a title or maybe a little rhyme or phrase. - Harlan Howard

Co-writing = Compromise!