|
6 members (bennash, Gary E. Andrews, texritter, Guy E. Trepanier, CTthomas, 1 invisible),
45,715
guests, and
5,599
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
RY X
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/21/26 04:03 PM
|
|
|
Soft Loft
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/21/26 11:52 AM
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275 |
CATCHY Hook, CycleGuy!!!
Flowed Smoothly as I read it, too...
Onliest Sugs that came to-mind:
"Happiness I have none..." while less-poetic seemed more-Conversational/Easier to Sing.
And maybe this is too-comedic, but it came-to-mind: see if Ya can squeeze-in "In this house of pain you CUSTOM-built for me"...
KOS 'em, Good Buddy...Nicely-Done Sad One, Son!!!
Good Luck with it!
Best Wishes, BGH, and a High-Five,
Stan
PS: Think Ya meant "StRain" insteada "Stain" on that Pain-Pain-Pain Verse???? (If not, this'n's Sug Numbah 3...heh!)
PPSS: The "Now it's too late that I find" Verse kinda "Dangles" BUT if ya add a nice "I'M" at front of its Last Line ya get both an Extra Rhyme and a solution to the Dangle Problemo...JMO/KOS!
Final Afterthought: Put the "I'M" on the Line-Previous...;-)>
Last edited by "Tampa Stan" Good; 10/28/12 01:44 AM.
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
|
Forums118
Topics129,042
Posts1,185,682
Members21,480
| |
Most Online236,505
Jul 1st, 2026
|
|
|
"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
|
